Left behind
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Left behind
My boyfriend or ex-boyfriend had been doing meth for 10yrs. almost daily until just this past month.
He got into a situation to whare he finally had to admit to his well-to-do family that he has a drug problem; a family who hates me because they blame me for his problem. We have seperate homes. He has two kids from previouse relationship, we have one child together and then I have one from previouse relationship. Two houses 4 kids.
His family paid for his rehab and he's been clean for over 30 days now. He attends meetings 4times a week.
He tells me I need to get help. The only help I could get to go to rehab is go through the state to get financial help to pay for it. I have no family to help with my kids as he does. I'm afraid if I seek help CPS will kick in and because I am a drug addict take my kids. My kids are my world and have saved me from totally hitting bottom. I will not risk it.
He hardly talks to me now. Well I would've been clean 3 weeks this thursday but ****** up yesterday and am having a hard time finding the support and tools as he did so I don't use.
I think to myself, if only I had a place I could go to put my emotions inorder that I'm going through and don't understand or a family who would just let me know they think I'm strong and are willing to help me to live a drug free life. I have a mother who does mehth herself that I've barely talked to in 8yrs.
Does anyone understand or am I feeling sorry for myself.
All I know is that I'm lonely, don't know who or whare to turn and cry all the time. Help...
He got into a situation to whare he finally had to admit to his well-to-do family that he has a drug problem; a family who hates me because they blame me for his problem. We have seperate homes. He has two kids from previouse relationship, we have one child together and then I have one from previouse relationship. Two houses 4 kids.
His family paid for his rehab and he's been clean for over 30 days now. He attends meetings 4times a week.
He tells me I need to get help. The only help I could get to go to rehab is go through the state to get financial help to pay for it. I have no family to help with my kids as he does. I'm afraid if I seek help CPS will kick in and because I am a drug addict take my kids. My kids are my world and have saved me from totally hitting bottom. I will not risk it.
He hardly talks to me now. Well I would've been clean 3 weeks this thursday but ****** up yesterday and am having a hard time finding the support and tools as he did so I don't use.
I think to myself, if only I had a place I could go to put my emotions inorder that I'm going through and don't understand or a family who would just let me know they think I'm strong and are willing to help me to live a drug free life. I have a mother who does mehth herself that I've barely talked to in 8yrs.
Does anyone understand or am I feeling sorry for myself.
All I know is that I'm lonely, don't know who or whare to turn and cry all the time. Help...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Hi...and welcome.I understand your concern about your kids.I have a 10 year old and he means everything to me.You should be able to get some help without risking your family.
Right now you really need to focus on yourself.Getting clean is one of the hardest and most rewarding things you will ever do.If you are doing ok physically, you may not have to have inpatient rehab.If you have a family doc,you may want to check in with them just to be sure.
In the meantime,focus on the basics.Take care of yourself as you would with any sickness.Plenty of fluids,plenty of rest and the right kind of food...that helps.
You can look into going to NA meetings if you are willing.They offer a lot of support from people who have been in your shoes.We also have NA and Nar Anon forums here.Keep posting and don't be afraid to reach out for help or ask questions.
We are here for you
phoenix
Right now you really need to focus on yourself.Getting clean is one of the hardest and most rewarding things you will ever do.If you are doing ok physically, you may not have to have inpatient rehab.If you have a family doc,you may want to check in with them just to be sure.
In the meantime,focus on the basics.Take care of yourself as you would with any sickness.Plenty of fluids,plenty of rest and the right kind of food...that helps.
You can look into going to NA meetings if you are willing.They offer a lot of support from people who have been in your shoes.We also have NA and Nar Anon forums here.Keep posting and don't be afraid to reach out for help or ask questions.
We are here for you
phoenix
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: scottsdale az
Posts: 118
Phoenix gave you some great advice. Focus on YOU first. I was never able to get sober worrying about someone else's problem. Think of all the rewards you will recieve with sobriety. You may not see them at first, but you will eventually. Your ex-boyfriend's parents won't be able to blame you if you are sober (although this may take some time), there will be NO worry about someone taking your children away because you will now be showing maturity, you'll feel mentally healthier, and so much more. I have felt nothing but better since becoming sober. Sure there are some bad days but they pass. But if you are worrying too much about everything else you will just pick up again because you don't have your priorities straight. You may not need inpatient unless physically something is wrong. Intensive outpatient isn't very expensive but there are also NA meetings which may be very helpful. Try 90 meetings in 90 days, just a suggestion. I saw nothing wrong with. You have many more options than just inpatient rehabillitation. Keep on looking. I wish you the best of luck, stick with us, we are a great bunch of people. You are always welcome. Keep coming back!
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