rose

Just wanted everyone to know that I a OK and that I am still seeing the same fellow. Just wish that I would relax more and stop waiting for the bomb to hit. Funny how normal became so far away from my life. Before I met him I dreamed to have someone just bear hug me, he does but I am like a 2x4 piece of wood..stiff and afraid to let my guard down. I just didn't realize or see just how much my exah's addiction effected more of me than I knew. I wrote many posts in the past of wishing I had a relationship and now I understand why my HP didn't go there, I was not strong enough or even close to ready, I thought I was, but was not strong enough to see or pick up on my real weak points. My main focus of conversation would have been all about addiction and how do you like me so far!

But speaking of it I do have to update you with exah, I have not seen or heard anything of him. About 10 days ago his PO called me and asked if I had heard or seen anything of him, nothing, he does live 2 hours away from here so it is not like he is in the same town as me. He said he just wanted to let me know that he is not doing well and to never be alone with him at this point and if I was to hear or feel like things are not looking right to call the police even if it is a false alarm, that they had him in councelling and that they gave up because they were getting know where with him.

Yesterday the PO called me again to say that he is also putting a warrant out for his arrest, I said what do you mean also, he said well there is a warrant out for him for not appearing in court, why did he have to appear in court....robbery. No way what did he rob, well I guess a gas station. The PO is not allowed to tell me much, freedom of information, but he puts things out there that makes you ask that he can bluff around. He put a warrant out for failing to see him. The police here called to say that they have posted his picture to their members here and that they are in contact with the police in his town and as soon as they find him I will be contacted. All the chaos again still brings back the same knott in my stomach, my mind still goes into a whirl, I cried yesterday, I cried because I feel bad for him, a lost sole, no hope in life. I talked to my family and a friend yesterday and I said I know I am going to get a bad call, a good call would be that the police have him.
I said should I get a bad call I am not going to take it well.

To this day if there was one thing I could do to help him.....I would be there in a heart beat....but there isn't. I have to live my life the best that I can.

Love you all

Rose

Ann

(((Rose)))

It's good to hear from you and I am so glad that you are in a healthy relationship. It sounds like your new fellow is very patient and understanding and that alone puts him up three notches in my books. And whether it is short term or long term, just enjoy the time and the lessons you are learning, Rose, because that's what life is all about.

I am glad you are paying attention to what the PO and police have told you. "Armed and dangerous" comes to mind, so please keep yourself safe and report anything that seems strange or if he contacts you. I know that like most of us, you love the person he once was and wish he could be again. Just remember that today he is not that person, addiction has turned him into someone who may be dangerous and you need to stay safe.

Don't be a stranger, hearing about your feelings and your progress helps each of us. You are an inspiration to me, Rose, and in my prayers each day.

Hugs

hope213

it was good to hear from you. you sound as if you are doing good. you have made a lot of progress & it will get better as time goes on.take it one day at a time.i am sorry your ex is still taking the wrong path but it will not change until he changes.let us hear from you.we care about you & love to hear what is going on with you.prayers,

bookmiser

((((((((Rose))))))))))

So glad to hear the relationship is going strong. You deserve great happiness, sweetie, and this guy may just give it to ya. If not, it'll be a notch on ol' Rosie's belt. lol Just kidding. I'm so happy for ya.
As far as the exah goes...Beware! Right before my exah went back to the pokey, he was calling me, now that I'm closer and it's not long distance, and telling me that he loved me. It's been 17 years since I was with the man. He never moved on with anyone else. Scary.
Just be very careful, Rose. Stay clear of that out of control train. Sending prayers that he is picked up soon and gets lots of sober time in jail. Addiction has led him to a very bad place, I'm afraid, and only HP can save him now, it seems.
How are your boys, btw? You didn't mention them in your thread. Could be a good thing, I guess. lol Just wondering if they've gone through the rough patch of rebellion and came out on the other side yet. Hope your getting the appreciation and courtesy you deserve. Let us know. We love ya, Rose, and only want what's best for you.
Hugs, love, prayers...the works, from me to you today,

rose

All has been calm on the home front with the boys, my oldest one has not said anything but I know he is not liking my friend being around. He will barely speak to him to the point of rude.

Rose

parentrecovers

nice to see you around, rose! k

cmc

Rose,
It's great to hear from you!
hugs,
cmc

rayofsunshine

(((Rose)))
Good to hear from you.

Jewelz

Rose, thanks for updating. I am sorry you exah isn't doing well. Please be safe okay Rose? Take your time with your relationship there are many wounds that need to heal.

Miss you,
Jewel