How do you hug yourself??
once in a . . .
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
How do you hug yourself??
The 1st thing that comes to mind, is simply being GOOD to myself and to try to pamper myself.
That does help - a little bit - sometimes - - -
But I'm having a low/depressed/CRAPPY day today and I don't want to be good to ANYone!
I want - NO - I NEED to be + feel snuggled + hugged!
This hurts so f'ing much - I can't even articulate WHAT it is that hurts - *I* hurt - that's all I know right now.
I don't know how to let myself FEEL - it's all been stuffed down inside for so long - I don't even know how to cry for goodness sakes! How do you cry if you're sitting there all alone??
What if I cry so hard that I break???
No one is here to care or help ...
Blue
That does help - a little bit - sometimes - - -
But I'm having a low/depressed/CRAPPY day today and I don't want to be good to ANYone!
I want - NO - I NEED to be + feel snuggled + hugged!
This hurts so f'ing much - I can't even articulate WHAT it is that hurts - *I* hurt - that's all I know right now.
I don't know how to let myself FEEL - it's all been stuffed down inside for so long - I don't even know how to cry for goodness sakes! How do you cry if you're sitting there all alone??
What if I cry so hard that I break???
No one is here to care or help ...
Blue
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Take yourself out on a date, blue.
Think of the things you love to do -- sit down and make a list of ten things that make you feel alive -- then choose the one that will occupy your mind the most and do it.
For me, it was almost always movies. On one particularly awful night long ago, I took myself out for a teary-eyed margarita and a movie (with popcorn and milk-duds). I think it was Waking Ned Devine. I laughed so hard along with everybody else for two hours, and when I walked out of the theater into the cool night air I realized that I'd spent an entire two hours not thinking about the evil Him. I couldn't hug myself, arms aren't long enough, but I could show myself that I cared.
Headphones for the stereo are great too. Just filling my brain cavity up with beautiful sounds, or healing audiobooks, while I sketched in my brand-new bought-that-day sketchbook with a new 64-pack of Crayola crayons, was good for another evening.
You've gotta do whatever you can do to convince yourself that YOU love you. Meetings are helpful too...I got a lot of hugs at meetings from people who have been there. Don't isolate yourself and then say "no one cares" -- because people do.
Love,
GL
Think of the things you love to do -- sit down and make a list of ten things that make you feel alive -- then choose the one that will occupy your mind the most and do it.
For me, it was almost always movies. On one particularly awful night long ago, I took myself out for a teary-eyed margarita and a movie (with popcorn and milk-duds). I think it was Waking Ned Devine. I laughed so hard along with everybody else for two hours, and when I walked out of the theater into the cool night air I realized that I'd spent an entire two hours not thinking about the evil Him. I couldn't hug myself, arms aren't long enough, but I could show myself that I cared.
Headphones for the stereo are great too. Just filling my brain cavity up with beautiful sounds, or healing audiobooks, while I sketched in my brand-new bought-that-day sketchbook with a new 64-pack of Crayola crayons, was good for another evening.
You've gotta do whatever you can do to convince yourself that YOU love you. Meetings are helpful too...I got a lot of hugs at meetings from people who have been there. Don't isolate yourself and then say "no one cares" -- because people do.
Love,
GL
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
You can embrace yourself by doing something special for you. A manicure, a bubble bath, a walk in the woods enjoying nature, or, call a friend and say "Let do"....and then do it.
There is a big wide wonderful world out there, start exploring it!
There is a big wide wonderful world out there, start exploring it!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
When i was a child and was hurt physically and verbally,
I would look in the mirror and see ugliness ...BUT...
because i have my Catholic up bringing and faith....
I could look at this little child of God looking back
at me....an innocent child that didnt ask to be abused
like i was yet i endured it....
Anytime i feel low or unloved....all i do is think of how
my my HP loves me no matter what....He loves me
UNCONDITIONALLY.....
When i know that then im able to love my self a little
more than the time before.
That's all that matters.
We are all a Child of God....or ur HP.
I would look in the mirror and see ugliness ...BUT...
because i have my Catholic up bringing and faith....
I could look at this little child of God looking back
at me....an innocent child that didnt ask to be abused
like i was yet i endured it....
Anytime i feel low or unloved....all i do is think of how
my my HP loves me no matter what....He loves me
UNCONDITIONALLY.....
When i know that then im able to love my self a little
more than the time before.
That's all that matters.
We are all a Child of God....or ur HP.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: trail of discovery
Posts: 2,472
Hugging yourself.... that is a good question. I have often wondered that myself when I first was told that idea. I thought.... hug myself.... why?
Well, it is necessary to feel comforted and the warmth of love...so yeah, hug yourself. OK, but how.... yep, good question. I like many of the above answers....treating yourself to a night out, or a manacure/ massage type of thing. Getting yourself out of the house and amongest people and activities is a wonderful idea also. But sometimes I do find that I just need to have that time to myself as well.... I have taken the time to put on a good movie at home, get some good munchies and beverages right there handy and snuggle up against a bunch of pillows as if they are cradling me and watch the movie or movies all day. Or maybe even a good book, if you are a reader. Just doing something of comfort that is healthy can do lots for my mood. If that doesn't work....making some calls out to good friends that are supportive works too.
Well, it is necessary to feel comforted and the warmth of love...so yeah, hug yourself. OK, but how.... yep, good question. I like many of the above answers....treating yourself to a night out, or a manacure/ massage type of thing. Getting yourself out of the house and amongest people and activities is a wonderful idea also. But sometimes I do find that I just need to have that time to myself as well.... I have taken the time to put on a good movie at home, get some good munchies and beverages right there handy and snuggle up against a bunch of pillows as if they are cradling me and watch the movie or movies all day. Or maybe even a good book, if you are a reader. Just doing something of comfort that is healthy can do lots for my mood. If that doesn't work....making some calls out to good friends that are supportive works too.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
Wow, your post really hit home with me. More than anything, I have been craving to just be held close. In fact, when I recently went to see STBXAH to get him to sign our divorce papers, he hugged me and I just sank into him. It felt so good to be in his arms and let everything else go. Scary good. I know without a doubt that I don't want to be back there with him. I don't. It hurt too much. But I just simply need that affection. I know it's hard. Trust me. I also know what you mean by being unable to cry. For the longest time, I would try so hard to let it go, but only a single tear would escape from my eye.
I'm still there today. Things aren't right yet, but I am feeling hopeful again. I'm starting to believe again that things will be okay one of these days.
Best.
TG
I'm still there today. Things aren't right yet, but I am feeling hopeful again. I'm starting to believe again that things will be okay one of these days.
Best.
TG
up and out
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 185
Hugs to you blue. I'm having the same kind of day. I want affection so badly. Its been so long since i've been able to be comfortably close to another human being. I feel more like a tornado-stricken village than a work in progress today....a total mess. I don't know up from down and I feel alone wherever I go.
This too shall pass......
This too shall pass......
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I do what pony does, I have snuggle pillows, one for my head, a neckroll to hug and another to prop my leg on. I might read, I might sleep, or I might just lay there and hug it and just feel and think. I have my own blankets that I am attached to and I cocoon in them. It just feels safe and warm and yes, snuggly.
I tried the bubblebath routine tonight, but for me it just doesn't do what the snuggly pillows and wrapping up in my fave blankets do. The bath was pleasant. But the snugglies bring me warmth and comfort.
I tried the bubblebath routine tonight, but for me it just doesn't do what the snuggly pillows and wrapping up in my fave blankets do. The bath was pleasant. But the snugglies bring me warmth and comfort.
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