Doormat12

Went to my first nar-anon meeting tonight. I almost hyperventilated in the parking lot walking to the door. I was so emotional-only listened, there was no way I could have spoken so anyone could have understood me between my sobs and snot and shaking. There is another meeting tomorrow, not sure if I can go to two in one week because my emotions are out of control. Was it normal to feel such embarrasment? Things should only go up from here.

hope213

welcome to S.R.... there is nothing for you to feel embarrassed about at the meetings.everyone there is going or has gone through what you are going through.there is alot of people who does not talk at the meeting for awhile.it is ok.you do what you are comfortable with. you will soon relax & be at home. i am glad you went. keeping going back.post with us also.we are a caring group that is hear to help also.there is lots of info here.read all the sticky at the top of our forum & all the post.we will walk this road with you & when u feel comfortable you can tell us your story.the addict in my life is my son. my prayers are with you,hope

classysista

i had my first al anon meeting .. last week and i felt abit anxious at frist and i didnt share either i just listend ... its not easy to just start telling a room full of strangers all ur personal info right away maybej ust do one meeting a week until you feel more comfortable.. dont push yourself take your time... ONE DAY AT A TIME....

GOD BLESS U.

hope213

i went & read your 1st post & i am glad you have come back. we r here 24/7....you will get stronger with your recovery as time goes on & things will become easier.

ladyamalthea

Boy, I cried my eyes out at my first meeting. It's perfectly okay, if not normal, to do that. I hope you will consider the meeting tomorrow night. The more you go, the more you can gain from it. And you never know, you might hear or see something tomorrow night that you didn't tonight, that you really needed. I would definitely go!

*hugs and prayers*

Spiritual Seeker

My 1st al-anon mtg I could only get my name out and one sentence, then tears.
I kept going back.Several yrs later it is one of the best things I've ever done. I learned to listen. I learned to get to the core of who I really am and comunicate in a way that has made all of my relationships better. It is advised to go to 6 mtgs. before you form an opinion. Visit several mtgs. to find a HOME grp. you feel most connected to & then volunteer to take a service position. Speak to someone after the mtg. who said something that resonates with you. it gets easier, better, and you will learn to work the steps for your own recovery, which at 1st doesn't make sense for those of us not alcoholic/addicts.

CatsPajamas

Door,

Is it normal or typical ? I don't know. Was it that way for me? Heck yea!! The first month I went to Al Anon meetings I walked in the door, cried for an hour and then left. It took 2 meetings before I could manage to squeak out my name when it came around for introductions.

The people were so loving and so supportive. No one asked me any questions. They hugged me and told me to keep coming back. And I did. They told me to go to at least 6 meetings before I decided if Al Anon was for me or not.... and they also said if I decided it wasn't for me, my misery would be refunded. Little by little, day by day, week by week, I got better.

Al Anon saved my life. Nar Anon or Al Anon can save yours if you let it.

Hugs

Cats

BigSis

I cried every meeting for the longest time... do what you need to do, and know that those there have nothing but love for you.

((hugs))

liesagain

me too cried like a baby, could barely understand myself much less expect anyone else to understand me................but I did feel so much lighter when I left

and noone looked at me funny everyone was supportive............if you can keep going you may find that a good cry is helpful

teke

just want to chime in with hugs and prayers

bookmiser

I cried my first time at our NA meetings.
I believe it's called tears of relief.
Bask in it!
It will get easier.
My hugs and support to you.

Linda

Wascally Wabbit

The first ever 12 step program I went to, I was sobbing and crying in the car before I got out. I got out and started the deep sobbing again. I sat at the table and said nothing. I walked out with 2 phone numbers. It was like winning the lottery! I finally had someone to talk to that understood perfectly why I was so sad.
The pain is what brings us to alanon.
Go back. You won't regret it.

Ann

Me too, sobbed so much they handed me the whole box of tissues. It took me three meetings before I could say a word. They understood, they handed me tissues and hugs and did not pressure me to say or do anything.

Meetings saved my life, literally. I'm glad I stuck around, that was probably the best decision I ever made.

Hugs

greeteachday

We've got 4 to 6 big boxes of tissues around the tables at each meeting...I think it is fairly common that this is the initial reaciton. I know I was in such a bad place by the time I got to Naranon that I was numb...As I started to defrost, the tears came. Everyone understands...absolutely. When we celebrate anniversaries, often one of the comments is about how many consecutive meetings the person cried...(all said in jest and with love....our group enjoys teasing each other and to me it feels so good to do something so "normal.")

I'm so grateful when i see a newcomer look so much better and even laugh after a few meetings. So glad you are finding you way to meetings...it really does help! Hugs

HKAngel24

My first Nar-anon meeting I was stunned to say the VERY least.
I truly got at that moment how progressive addiction is. There were multiple mothers seated around the room serenely- nodding as I teared up during other's sharing or blathered through my own nonsensical story.
I left there frightened and taken aback. I did not realize how hard this stuff can be to kick.
I left there feeling like I was in over my head and downright stunned.
I like to live in fantasyland and see one facet of the man I fell in love with. I like to believe the other has some how been exorcized permanently. Unfortunately that is not true and I think a very important part of detachment is continuously accepting the reality of addicts and what addicts do.

I am not able to attend Nar-anon meetings because I live in a city without a vehicle and the only meetings within cab traveling distance are Al-anon. But I urge you strongly to return to the meetings. So many people have found solace and recovery through these programs- there has to be something about them that works. I think they have a rule of thumb of trying 6 or 7 meetings before you call it quits. I've also been told that you have to "Shop around" for a group. You may not gain anything from some one group but may receive a tremendous amount from another.
The relationship dynamic must suit you. The book How Al-Anon works has been very helpful to me. It is concise and simple and I just substitute addict for alcoholic and drugs for alcohol.

parentrecovers

my husband and i went together to our first meeting last sept (i had been to alanon some before, but it had been years) - we sat there like deers in the headlights. and we both cried all the way home and into the night. we were exhausted from dealing with our daughter's accident and arrest and hospital stay and rehab admit, etc. i honestly don't remember a word that was said at that mtg. i just remember knowing - i had to go back..

blessings, k

(once you get more involved and a bit stronger - you'll make a fantastic greeter for other new folks - you'll understand how they may be feeling...)

frankie_b

Oh yes I cried through my first and second meeting. It was a release of all the sad, desperate feelings I had. I just knew I wanted to keep coming back as I could feel
the compassion, understanding in the room. I slept like a baby after my first meeting.
Alanon saved my life. I encourage you to go again tonight. It's okay to cry.
Hugs