ph msg this mrng ...
Let Go Let God
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
ph msg this mrng ...
First an update . Ah will not go back to his moms after fight with his step father . He has and always has had a chip on his shoulder the size of Manhattan so I dont foresee an apology anytime soon . I told him he could stay at the house until Sunday (he usually stays on Friday & Sat while I work anyway) but on Sunday , with or without a place to stay he was leaving . He had a hissy fit but knows hes leaving come Sunday .
He told me a few days ago that on Tues night he slept at a friends house . This guy and his girlfriend live together and have a baby under 1 . They are getting married in August , I just got the invitation , ah and I were invited together as a couple . There is no alcohol problem with either of them and no drug issues that I know of .
Flash forward to this mrng , I have worked about 44 hrs this week , I usually work 24 so its been very busy to say the least . I havent had time to even listen to the v-mail in two days so at 8:00 this mrng thats what I was doing . I heard a msg from this guys girlfriend . She sounded sick or like she was crying and asked me to pls call her back with ahs cell ph# that she had to speak to him it was very very very important . She repeated herself twice and left her ph# for me to call her back . A few msgs later and there was another msg from her . This one more frantic then the last . She said she had to speak to ah asap . She had some words for him . (again she sounded like she was crying or like she had a cold) . She said that I could give him a msg if I wanted to-he was not welcome in her home , around her , her baby , or her husband ever again . She said that he was no longer welcome at her wedding but if I wanted to go she would love to see me , and of course would understand if I didnt . She asked again for his ph# , said she would tell him herself whether or not I choose to give him the msg and for me to call her anyway and she would explain .
Of course I am shaking . ah worked today so I was home w/kids waiting for the sitter . After the sitter arrived I left and before I was out of the driveway I was calling the girl back (ah has been friends w/this guy for about 8 yrs , we were introduced to his gf about 3 - 4 yrs ago , we have all gotten together before and hung out just watching movies w/a few beers for us and abt a case for ah so they are relatively harmless friends) I got her vmail and left her a msg that I would absolutely give her ahs cell ph# but for her to please call me back first so I could get a heads up on what went on . I havent heard from her yet .
So I am at work , stomach is in knots , putting on the happy face w/my coworkers , feeling like a fool because 'here we go again' and I have no idea what to do .. do I call her back ?? do I give ah her msg along with his bags and just be done with it ? Should I even care about what happened or just know that its something bad enough for her to never want to see him again and that should be enough for me to know that I dont ever want to see him again .. I cant handle the drama , I just want peace and serenity
He told me a few days ago that on Tues night he slept at a friends house . This guy and his girlfriend live together and have a baby under 1 . They are getting married in August , I just got the invitation , ah and I were invited together as a couple . There is no alcohol problem with either of them and no drug issues that I know of .
Flash forward to this mrng , I have worked about 44 hrs this week , I usually work 24 so its been very busy to say the least . I havent had time to even listen to the v-mail in two days so at 8:00 this mrng thats what I was doing . I heard a msg from this guys girlfriend . She sounded sick or like she was crying and asked me to pls call her back with ahs cell ph# that she had to speak to him it was very very very important . She repeated herself twice and left her ph# for me to call her back . A few msgs later and there was another msg from her . This one more frantic then the last . She said she had to speak to ah asap . She had some words for him . (again she sounded like she was crying or like she had a cold) . She said that I could give him a msg if I wanted to-he was not welcome in her home , around her , her baby , or her husband ever again . She said that he was no longer welcome at her wedding but if I wanted to go she would love to see me , and of course would understand if I didnt . She asked again for his ph# , said she would tell him herself whether or not I choose to give him the msg and for me to call her anyway and she would explain .
Of course I am shaking . ah worked today so I was home w/kids waiting for the sitter . After the sitter arrived I left and before I was out of the driveway I was calling the girl back (ah has been friends w/this guy for about 8 yrs , we were introduced to his gf about 3 - 4 yrs ago , we have all gotten together before and hung out just watching movies w/a few beers for us and abt a case for ah so they are relatively harmless friends) I got her vmail and left her a msg that I would absolutely give her ahs cell ph# but for her to please call me back first so I could get a heads up on what went on . I havent heard from her yet .
So I am at work , stomach is in knots , putting on the happy face w/my coworkers , feeling like a fool because 'here we go again' and I have no idea what to do .. do I call her back ?? do I give ah her msg along with his bags and just be done with it ? Should I even care about what happened or just know that its something bad enough for her to never want to see him again and that should be enough for me to know that I dont ever want to see him again .. I cant handle the drama , I just want peace and serenity
Let Go Let God
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
I feel like I need to know too .. Im just trying to prepare myself in case I dont
hear from her . I dont want to start stalking her and calling and leaving msgs . I just want to know that if she doesnt call , I will be okay with it .
Exactly the reason I wanted to talk to her before she spoke to him , I dont want to give him the opportunity to get his story together before he cons/manipulates me . I need time to process (guess Ive learned something about this situation being that its the upteenth time Im in it !)
But my mind is racing .. Im figuring he had to have put her & her family in harms way, maybe he had drugs in their home . If he had another woman there it may have disgusted her to a point where she never wants to see him again but I think it was more than that .. My worst fear is that he stole from them . I know he has stolen things before from work so this may have happened to .
I have to try and stay calm because my heart is racing . My kids are home w/ a sitter and Im an hour away . Im panicking that he will get to the house before me . I just want to get my kids and leave so they dont have to be in the middle of a scene .
Breath , breath , breath
hear from her . I dont want to start stalking her and calling and leaving msgs . I just want to know that if she doesnt call , I will be okay with it .
Exactly the reason I wanted to talk to her before she spoke to him , I dont want to give him the opportunity to get his story together before he cons/manipulates me . I need time to process (guess Ive learned something about this situation being that its the upteenth time Im in it !)
But my mind is racing .. Im figuring he had to have put her & her family in harms way, maybe he had drugs in their home . If he had another woman there it may have disgusted her to a point where she never wants to see him again but I think it was more than that .. My worst fear is that he stole from them . I know he has stolen things before from work so this may have happened to .
I have to try and stay calm because my heart is racing . My kids are home w/ a sitter and Im an hour away . Im panicking that he will get to the house before me . I just want to get my kids and leave so they dont have to be in the middle of a scene .
Breath , breath , breath
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by LGLG07 
I My worst fear is that he stole from them .
This is the thought that came first to my mind when I read this.
Whatever it is, I am sorry. It would be nice to know; I guess it makes it clear to you that you are doing the right thing by not allowing him home. I would be curious (ok,I'm nosey) if whatever happened at friends' house is similar to stepdad's issue...
(((LGLG07)))
Let Go Let God
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
thks pick ..
it took me a while to come up with the stealing thing . my first thought went right to drugs , then another woman . after i thought about it though i realized he had to have threatened her family in some way in order for her to leave 2 msgs like that for me . shes a tough cookie too , usually when people tell me things its always 'but dont mention my name' 'dont say it was me' 'please dont tell him how you found out' .. i know you cant blame people who want to help but not get involved , this girl couldnt care less , she will spill everything and not care that he knows it was her .
this suspense is really killing me though , do you think enough time has passed for me to call her again ??? its 1230 now
it took me a while to come up with the stealing thing . my first thought went right to drugs , then another woman . after i thought about it though i realized he had to have threatened her family in some way in order for her to leave 2 msgs like that for me . shes a tough cookie too , usually when people tell me things its always 'but dont mention my name' 'dont say it was me' 'please dont tell him how you found out' .. i know you cant blame people who want to help but not get involved , this girl couldnt care less , she will spill everything and not care that he knows it was her .
this suspense is really killing me though , do you think enough time has passed for me to call her again ??? its 1230 now
Let Go Let God
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
no other # that i know of .. i am going on my lunch break now .. i will call her again .. i dont even know where they live now , they have moved since i last was at their house . i know the town but thats it ...
pls keep watch on this thread because in the even that i do talk to her , im gonna need you guys !!
pls keep watch on this thread because in the even that i do talk to her , im gonna need you guys !!
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 239
Hey, whatever happens you didn't make it that way. Now's the time to be honest and tell her just what the situation is. You will be amazed how freeing it is. The fact that she left you a message and told you you are still welcome means that they do not judge you or blame you in any way. My guess is that they already knew about him problem and were just trying to help but realized what a challenge it is. Hang in there.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
LG, if you're worried about your kids, can you have the sitter bring them to a park or something, where you can meet them before your AH comes home?
i probably would want to know what went on too. i doubt she's overreacting about anything, but it would probably help you to stop wondering what the truth was - because your AH will probably tell you something different.
does she work today? did you call her cell number? she might just be away from her phone and unable to call you back, but i would probably wait until she does, rather than calling again - but that's just me!
i probably would want to know what went on too. i doubt she's overreacting about anything, but it would probably help you to stop wondering what the truth was - because your AH will probably tell you something different.
does she work today? did you call her cell number? she might just be away from her phone and unable to call you back, but i would probably wait until she does, rather than calling again - but that's just me!
Let Go Let God
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
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well i alrdy called her again. got her vmail so i just hung up. the number i have for her is her cell , i dont have any other # . i wont call her again though , i'll just wait it out , even though its torture . Its just my luck though really , I will probably never hear from her again and never know , or he has gotten to her already and conned her so she will change her story to me . who knows ..
what is your opinion on the msgs though ?? they are saved on my vmail right now because I knew I was going to want to listen to them again in case I missed something . Do I erase them ? Do I leave them and let him find them on his own ? Do I tell him he has a msg so he listens to it ? I dont want to give him a heads up but should I just let the chips fall where they may ?
what is your opinion on the msgs though ?? they are saved on my vmail right now because I knew I was going to want to listen to them again in case I missed something . Do I erase them ? Do I leave them and let him find them on his own ? Do I tell him he has a msg so he listens to it ? I dont want to give him a heads up but should I just let the chips fall where they may ?
Let Go Let God
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
funny u say that about the kids going to the park inthis .. i actually talked to the sitter from my lunch break and she is going to walk the kids to her house to swim in her pool (her moms home and her moms family and my family go way back to when I was a kid) I told her I would pick them up there after work ..
see, great minds think alike ! hee hee
see, great minds think alike ! hee hee
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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Actually it doesn't matter what he did, it's not your problem. The information of what happened will probably be useful to you on a personal level but I'm hearing you taking it on and getting upset over it. Not your problem just more consequences fo rhim.
Earthworm
Earthworm
Originally Posted by LGLG07
I feel like I need to know too .. Im just trying to prepare myself in case I dont
hear from her . I dont want to start stalking her and calling and leaving msgs . I just want to know that if she doesnt call , I will be okay with it .
Exactly the reason I wanted to talk to her before she spoke to him , I dont want to give him the opportunity to get his story together before he cons/manipulates me . I need time to process (guess Ive learned something about this situation being that its the upteenth time Im in it !)
But my mind is racing .. Im figuring he had to have put her & her family in harms way, maybe he had drugs in their home . If he had another woman there it may have disgusted her to a point where she never wants to see him again but I think it was more than that .. My worst fear is that he stole from them . I know he has stolen things before from work so this may have happened to .
I have to try and stay calm because my heart is racing . My kids are home w/ a sitter and Im an hour away . Im panicking that he will get to the house before me . I just want to get my kids and leave so they dont have to be in the middle of a scene .
Breath , breath , breath
hear from her . I dont want to start stalking her and calling and leaving msgs . I just want to know that if she doesnt call , I will be okay with it .
Exactly the reason I wanted to talk to her before she spoke to him , I dont want to give him the opportunity to get his story together before he cons/manipulates me . I need time to process (guess Ive learned something about this situation being that its the upteenth time Im in it !)
But my mind is racing .. Im figuring he had to have put her & her family in harms way, maybe he had drugs in their home . If he had another woman there it may have disgusted her to a point where she never wants to see him again but I think it was more than that .. My worst fear is that he stole from them . I know he has stolen things before from work so this may have happened to .
I have to try and stay calm because my heart is racing . My kids are home w/ a sitter and Im an hour away . Im panicking that he will get to the house before me . I just want to get my kids and leave so they dont have to be in the middle of a scene .
Breath , breath , breath
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by LGLG07
what is your opinion on the msgs though ?? they are saved on my vmail right now because I knew I was going to want to listen to them again in case I missed something . Do I erase them ? Do I leave them and let him find them on his own ? Do I tell him he has a msg so he listens to it ? I dont want to give him a heads up but should I just let the chips fall where they may ?
Let Go Let God
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
ah just cld me .. told me our daughter called him from her cell and told him to go to the sitters house to pick them up .. darn cell phones ! he is on his way there now , about 10 mins away .
the thing is , he sounds drunk . slurring his words a bit and a little giggly . i called the sitters house and spoke to the mom (sooo embarrassing ! im sure her kids wont be babysitting anymore because of the drama) she knows a little of the situation with ah's drinking so i told her what i suspected and asked that if she suspected that too when she sees him to please not let him take my kids in the car and i would be right there . she said her husband is home so he will take care of it ..
im an hour away from home and have to calm myself down before i drive.
the thing is , he sounds drunk . slurring his words a bit and a little giggly . i called the sitters house and spoke to the mom (sooo embarrassing ! im sure her kids wont be babysitting anymore because of the drama) she knows a little of the situation with ah's drinking so i told her what i suspected and asked that if she suspected that too when she sees him to please not let him take my kids in the car and i would be right there . she said her husband is home so he will take care of it ..
im an hour away from home and have to calm myself down before i drive.
Let Go Let God
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
just heard the garden state parkway is bumper to bumper traffic .. great .. its going to take even longer to get home now .. why is this happening to me ?! maybe my sign to just get him out of the house once and for all
Let Go Let God
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
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I am just starting to feel as though I am going to break down . I cant keep it together anymore , I need to get away but maybe I just need for him to get away and stay away . he wasnt even in the house for 2 full days before drama started to unfold . I will have to tell him tonight that he cannot wait until tomorrow , he has to leave now
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