Made it through court!
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
Made it through court!
AH and I went to divorce court today, and everything went through wonderfully! Ah made an ass of himself, talking out loud in court, disrespectng a court officer, and speaking inappropriately to the judge, all in a misguided attempt to look like a big man and be in control. My attorney says she's never seen anyone act like such a jerk in all her years of practice.
The saddest part is that he was so wrapped up in the "money" (he's mad as a hornet at what the court says he has to pay in child support), that he didn't even read the papers to make sure his rights as a parent were protected. He didn't get an attorney OR read the papers, even though he testified he did in court. The irony? During our entire divorce process, he badgered me and badgered me about child support, alimony, etc, claiming I was trying to take advantage of him. But when it came to the kids, he never even questioned the visitation agreement(which gives me the pwoer to deny visitation whenever I see fit) because he "trusted me to do the right thing." Talk about screwed up priorities!
The best part was, when he was making a fool of himself in the court room, I, for the first time in YEARS, didn't feel like I had to apologize for him, or cover for him, or feel guilty for HIS behavior. Yeehaw! I told my lawyer I lost 170 pounds today!
He left the court in a rush, I'm sure to crack open a Bud in the cooler in the van, and smoke a big joint on the way home.
Thank God it's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The saddest part is that he was so wrapped up in the "money" (he's mad as a hornet at what the court says he has to pay in child support), that he didn't even read the papers to make sure his rights as a parent were protected. He didn't get an attorney OR read the papers, even though he testified he did in court. The irony? During our entire divorce process, he badgered me and badgered me about child support, alimony, etc, claiming I was trying to take advantage of him. But when it came to the kids, he never even questioned the visitation agreement(which gives me the pwoer to deny visitation whenever I see fit) because he "trusted me to do the right thing." Talk about screwed up priorities!
The best part was, when he was making a fool of himself in the court room, I, for the first time in YEARS, didn't feel like I had to apologize for him, or cover for him, or feel guilty for HIS behavior. Yeehaw! I told my lawyer I lost 170 pounds today!
He left the court in a rush, I'm sure to crack open a Bud in the cooler in the van, and smoke a big joint on the way home.
Thank God it's over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
this is EXACTLY what my experience was with my ex in court - right down the cracking the budweiser from the cooler...
it's ridiculous.
i'm glad it's over for you. congrats on the weight loss
blessings, k
it's ridiculous.
i'm glad it's over for you. congrats on the weight loss
blessings, k
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
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Originally Posted by guineapigjude 
The irony? During our entire divorce process, he badgered me and badgered me about child support, alimony, etc, claiming I was trying to take advantage of him. But when it came to the kids, he never even questioned the visitation agreement(which gives me the pwoer to deny visitation whenever I see fit) because he "trusted me to do the right thing." Talk about screwed up priorities!
Yes, that is ironic. Maybe it was because I was in AA, or maybe it was self-pity, but during my divorce I never questioned the child support, and when it comes to visitation right now it's pretty close to 50/50, and I still feel like I can't get enough time with my children. I'd give anything to be with them more often.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Mixed emotions- Divorce day is sad and yet freeing. Never an easy day to see the end/ even when we know it is time. Best wishes as you pick up the pieces of your life.
Luckily the agreement went your way. May you and your kids know joy.
Luckily the agreement went your way. May you and your kids know joy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
Astro, one of the hardest things about the whole relationship with AH, right down to the divorce, has been his lack of interest in the kids. (He likes to tell everyone he's a great dad, but trust me, he's not much more that a biological dad. To the extent I had to leave the house with the kids all day every Sunday since they were born because they"made too much noise and he couldn't rest")
He has said some very hurtful things about my oldest, our son, such as telling me I just got pregnant so I wouldn't have to work and he would have to support me. (For the record, I am the only one in the household that never missed bringing in a paycheck, not to mention the fact that I bought the house, and on and on...) When he drinks he's very verbally/emotionally abusive toward our son. I believe he resents Joe because he had to work full time once we had him. (He blatently favors our daughter.) He was complainiing at court today about how much money he spends when he takes the kids on Saturdays!
Bottom line with AH is he just wants to work long enough to pay for a room to live in, and to drink and smoke pot. Thats the heart of why he left, I insisted he work full time.
Luckily with the visitation as it stands in the divorce agreement, I had lots of room to withhold visits should AH show up drunk/high to get the kids, or should he behave at all inappropriately with them. (AH also refused to go to court ordered parenting classes. Another story in itself.) I sure wish for the kids sake he was fighting to be a part of their lives, not against it.
He has said some very hurtful things about my oldest, our son, such as telling me I just got pregnant so I wouldn't have to work and he would have to support me. (For the record, I am the only one in the household that never missed bringing in a paycheck, not to mention the fact that I bought the house, and on and on...) When he drinks he's very verbally/emotionally abusive toward our son. I believe he resents Joe because he had to work full time once we had him. (He blatently favors our daughter.) He was complainiing at court today about how much money he spends when he takes the kids on Saturdays!
Bottom line with AH is he just wants to work long enough to pay for a room to live in, and to drink and smoke pot. Thats the heart of why he left, I insisted he work full time.
Luckily with the visitation as it stands in the divorce agreement, I had lots of room to withhold visits should AH show up drunk/high to get the kids, or should he behave at all inappropriately with them. (AH also refused to go to court ordered parenting classes. Another story in itself.) I sure wish for the kids sake he was fighting to be a part of their lives, not against it.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
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I think when an alcoholic becomes so wrapped up in our disease we lose sight of our responsibilities as parents, for me I just assumed that I was doing the right thing by being a high functioning drinker.
Sad, I can't think of a higher honor than to be a sober father to my children. They deserved better than 9 years of my disease.
Sad, I can't think of a higher honor than to be a sober father to my children. They deserved better than 9 years of my disease.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
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Good for you!!!!
I learnt a very expensive lesson. Unreasonable people win your case for you more times than not. I spent a lot of money and time arguing via lawyers, when it would have been much quicker and cheaper just to take it to the finish line in double-quick time.
I am glad you got what is best for you and the kids at this time.
I learnt a very expensive lesson. Unreasonable people win your case for you more times than not. I spent a lot of money and time arguing via lawyers, when it would have been much quicker and cheaper just to take it to the finish line in double-quick time.
I am glad you got what is best for you and the kids at this time.
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