I just want to talk...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
I just want to talk...
Im gonna ramble only coz I dont want to get off the computor at the moment. Why am I having a strong urge to buy booze sh*t Im a hopeless useless bitc* I cant understand me and I dont like myself at the moment!!! I couldnt sleep last night just worrying about things mainly money woes yeah like buying booze is gonna help that!!!
Im sorry it looks like when Im re reading my thread that Im feeling sorry for myself I guess maybe I am. Im lonely friends are at work I just have miss 18 months for company and there so far is no job suitble for me advailable. thanks for letting me ramble probably havent made much sence but writing this its stoping me going down the road.
Ang
Im sorry it looks like when Im re reading my thread that Im feeling sorry for myself I guess maybe I am. Im lonely friends are at work I just have miss 18 months for company and there so far is no job suitble for me advailable. thanks for letting me ramble probably havent made much sence but writing this its stoping me going down the road.
Ang
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Ang....Mega Hugs
One of the things I have learned in AA
Watch out for HALT..
.cause that is when you are the most weak to temptaion.
That means don't get too
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Reaching out here is a good idea.
Blessings
One of the things I have learned in AA
Watch out for HALT..
.cause that is when you are the most weak to temptaion.
That means don't get too
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Reaching out here is a good idea.
Blessings
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
hey Ang
don't go down the road, hey ?
I've had enough friends going back to the BS recently...
make you a deal...I won't drink today if you won't
how's the weather in NZ ?
it's pretty crappy here (Brisbane)
D
don't go down the road, hey ?
I've had enough friends going back to the BS recently...
make you a deal...I won't drink today if you won't
how's the weather in NZ ?
it's pretty crappy here (Brisbane)
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Angie,
I'm glad you posted - and didn't go buy a bottle!
I worry about money too these days - and even though we know booze won't help that, it doesn't keep us from going there in our heads!
HALT - are you hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? I know you're lonely - so you did the right thing, by posting and reaching out. Do any of the others apply?
I know you don't like yourself at the moment, but I do! I think you're a wonderful person who reaches out to others with love and compassion. Be good to yourself, you deserve a sober life. Just hang on tight during the rough times.
Big hugs.
Rowan xoxx
I'm glad you posted - and didn't go buy a bottle!
I worry about money too these days - and even though we know booze won't help that, it doesn't keep us from going there in our heads!
HALT - are you hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? I know you're lonely - so you did the right thing, by posting and reaching out. Do any of the others apply?
I know you don't like yourself at the moment, but I do! I think you're a wonderful person who reaches out to others with love and compassion. Be good to yourself, you deserve a sober life. Just hang on tight during the rough times.
Big hugs.
Rowan xoxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
thanks all Im having a wee weep here at the moment,
Dee weather is dam horrible rain then brief sun then dark clouds then rain of course putting my washing out yesterday made it rain!! I think as well as lonely is I may be angry I went down the road yesterday to buy some eggs and butter to make some chocolate brownies with our "new" second hand oven ( which only one piece is left) and I saw a old friend well not a close friend shes a mum that has a child the same age as my eldest. shes being sufering from depression and was drinking alot too. well I havent seen her for ages and we said hi then she went staright to the booze shop next to the supermarket and bought some wine and I just had a flash of all these emotions!!! anger that I cant get a bottle of wine , anger that if I did I would let myself down anger that my husband would get very angry with me and in a way I know its silly but I feel like hes won hes still a smoker he still HAS his addiciton I cant have mine!!!.... right Ill grow up now, anger that I really really wanted to be in her shoes anger that its coming up past two months and that today Im feeling like this. Sorry all and Rowan you are so kind I really really appriciate your kind words and carol it was you wasnt it that sent me that link about how our mind will start wanting the addiciton again for no apperent reason thanks for that and your kindness and Dee I wont go down down I promise Ill just fill myself up with caffine and the last remaining chocolate brownie :0)
Ang
Dee weather is dam horrible rain then brief sun then dark clouds then rain of course putting my washing out yesterday made it rain!! I think as well as lonely is I may be angry I went down the road yesterday to buy some eggs and butter to make some chocolate brownies with our "new" second hand oven ( which only one piece is left) and I saw a old friend well not a close friend shes a mum that has a child the same age as my eldest. shes being sufering from depression and was drinking alot too. well I havent seen her for ages and we said hi then she went staright to the booze shop next to the supermarket and bought some wine and I just had a flash of all these emotions!!! anger that I cant get a bottle of wine , anger that if I did I would let myself down anger that my husband would get very angry with me and in a way I know its silly but I feel like hes won hes still a smoker he still HAS his addiciton I cant have mine!!!.... right Ill grow up now, anger that I really really wanted to be in her shoes anger that its coming up past two months and that today Im feeling like this. Sorry all and Rowan you are so kind I really really appriciate your kind words and carol it was you wasnt it that sent me that link about how our mind will start wanting the addiciton again for no apperent reason thanks for that and your kindness and Dee I wont go down down I promise Ill just fill myself up with caffine and the last remaining chocolate brownie :0)
Ang
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Hey ang,
Big hugs to you sweetie.....I know it's damn hard-and I am pulling for you here.I've been so impressed with your recovery so far and I just know you can keep going.Hell-if I can-you can.These days are tough-especially given you've been working and now you're back home.I really understand.
You mentioned going to A.A a while ago.I'm just wondering if you're still going and if you have people you can call at times like this?Just thinking it might help.
You have always been so encouraging to me and I hope in some way I'm giving you some of that back.I do believe in you.
Just know there's another woman with the same struggle,s across town from you, sipping grape juice and eating chocolate like it's going out of style-lol-who is thinking of you and believing in you.
Hang in there and I will too!
Love,
Rose xox
Big hugs to you sweetie.....I know it's damn hard-and I am pulling for you here.I've been so impressed with your recovery so far and I just know you can keep going.Hell-if I can-you can.These days are tough-especially given you've been working and now you're back home.I really understand.
You mentioned going to A.A a while ago.I'm just wondering if you're still going and if you have people you can call at times like this?Just thinking it might help.
You have always been so encouraging to me and I hope in some way I'm giving you some of that back.I do believe in you.
Just know there's another woman with the same struggle,s across town from you, sipping grape juice and eating chocolate like it's going out of style-lol-who is thinking of you and believing in you.
Hang in there and I will too!
Love,
Rose xox
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
sorry you're having a crappy day ang, I know how it is sometimes - it just doesn't seem fair, but humans being what they are, we tend to forget the bad times - the blackouts the fights, the hangovers, the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the lack of self esteem...
in any case Rose is right - CHOCOLATE SOLVES EVERYTHING
D
in any case Rose is right - CHOCOLATE SOLVES EVERYTHING
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well....
When I feel blue.....I do some or all of these....
Put on jazzy music..sing and dance around the room
Pray....Take a bubble bath...Go for a walk..Cry
Cook Chili..... Listen the Big Book or Bible
Spray on perfume, slather on make up, wear red
Eat Ice Cream....Call a friend....Go to an AA meeting
Come to SR....Watch a silly TV program
anyone else wanna share their “feel better” tips?
When I feel blue.....I do some or all of these....
Put on jazzy music..sing and dance around the room
Pray....Take a bubble bath...Go for a walk..Cry
Cook Chili..... Listen the Big Book or Bible
Spray on perfume, slather on make up, wear red
Eat Ice Cream....Call a friend....Go to an AA meeting
Come to SR....Watch a silly TV program
anyone else wanna share their “feel better” tips?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
thanks Rose and Dee and I have had a friend txt me she has finished work ( shes a teacher aide )so shes gonna come over for a coffee and thankfully she knows me so I dont have to rush around clean house lol. THANKYOU SO VERY VERY MUCH ((((())))) I will get through this day I will
Ang
Ang
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gisborne New Zealand
Posts: 539
thanks carol for the ideas, at the moment I have miss 18 months hanging off my leg lol singing away so shes helping she also while I was sitting here got into a container of baking flour *sigh* a little bit of flour goes a long long way!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Ange,
Know how it feels. Its okay to ramble. I believe it helps u feel better. Reading ur post helps me out too. Strange, but when u know others feel the same way, its not so lonely.
Hang in there.
Intovrtd1
Know how it feels. Its okay to ramble. I believe it helps u feel better. Reading ur post helps me out too. Strange, but when u know others feel the same way, its not so lonely.
Hang in there.
Intovrtd1
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