same crisis, different day
let it grow!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
same crisis, different day
where am i going to live?
where will i find a job?
how can i find a counselor?
what psychiatrist do i call to get med script?
what gyno do i call for birth control script?
how can find the money to keep cell phone from getting shut off?
where's all my paperwork for my court follow up?
how am i going to survive with no $?
what am i going to do about my overdrawn bank account?
it goes on and on. she just did all this about 40 days ago. it was all solved. now it's all a mess again.
it's like a broken record. the cycle of addction. how many start overs is it going to take?
where will i find a job?
how can i find a counselor?
what psychiatrist do i call to get med script?
what gyno do i call for birth control script?
how can find the money to keep cell phone from getting shut off?
where's all my paperwork for my court follow up?
how am i going to survive with no $?
what am i going to do about my overdrawn bank account?
it goes on and on. she just did all this about 40 days ago. it was all solved. now it's all a mess again.
it's like a broken record. the cycle of addction. how many start overs is it going to take?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I guess as many as it takes for her to decide that she does not ever want to live that way again. A friend of mine once said that some of our children just have to make life hard. Of course she was not talking about addiction, just your normal problems. Addiction magnifies those problems, but they are still the same in the end. Our children have to become responsible for themselves. Step back and see what solutions she comes up with. We already know that you want her to have a better life. She needs to figure out how to do it. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: on to bigger & better things
Posts: 4,122
The answers for me were:
where am i going to live? Not here. . .try the halfway house
where will i find a job? Gotta look and ask around
how can i find a counselor? Check with the halfway house, ask at meetings
what psychiatrist do i call to get med script? Do you need a script?
what gyno do i call for birth control script? How bout Planned Parenthood?
how can find the money to keep cell phone from getting shut off? Til you have a job. . .I guess you don't have a cell phone?
where's all my paperwork for my court follow up? Better get a job to pay for all the copies from the courthouse
how am i going to survive with no $? Again, halfway house, ask for help at meetings, get a job
what am i going to do about my overdrawn bank account? Possibly go to jail
Harsh is what my reality had to be before it really had my attention. I went to jail, I went to a halfway house & / or treatment, I got jobs, some not so attractive but it served the purpose, I got all kinds of low income or "free" help from agencies through doing the right things through the halfway house, Never had a cell phone until this past year, have paid for my share of copies of stuff from courts, rode city busses and asked for rides too. Humility, humbled myself to ask for help from those who were helping themselves, hung out with them to learn how to do it. Just my story, almost 10 yrs clean & sober this time. Takes what it takes.
where am i going to live? Not here. . .try the halfway house
where will i find a job? Gotta look and ask around
how can i find a counselor? Check with the halfway house, ask at meetings
what psychiatrist do i call to get med script? Do you need a script?
what gyno do i call for birth control script? How bout Planned Parenthood?
how can find the money to keep cell phone from getting shut off? Til you have a job. . .I guess you don't have a cell phone?
where's all my paperwork for my court follow up? Better get a job to pay for all the copies from the courthouse
how am i going to survive with no $? Again, halfway house, ask for help at meetings, get a job
what am i going to do about my overdrawn bank account? Possibly go to jail
Harsh is what my reality had to be before it really had my attention. I went to jail, I went to a halfway house & / or treatment, I got jobs, some not so attractive but it served the purpose, I got all kinds of low income or "free" help from agencies through doing the right things through the halfway house, Never had a cell phone until this past year, have paid for my share of copies of stuff from courts, rode city busses and asked for rides too. Humility, humbled myself to ask for help from those who were helping themselves, hung out with them to learn how to do it. Just my story, almost 10 yrs clean & sober this time. Takes what it takes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: on the lake
Posts: 335
thanks cook and anvil, my as is in the same boat as parents, its hard to detach and be hands off as a parent. but when i read stories with phrases like 10 years clean it gives people like parent and i hope and encouragement to keep "not" doing the right things for our addicts. i hope one day my as can say the things you and anvil have said. as for me and mrs lake were going to try and continue "not" doing our part
Hugs, Marle
let it grow!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
i have a standard answer this time around for my daughter - from all the things i have learned at alanon and from all my sr recovery friends.
"quit digging and put one foot in front of the other."
hugs to all the moms and dads. and thank you to those of you in recovery for telling us what made your difference.
k
"quit digging and put one foot in front of the other."
hugs to all the moms and dads. and thank you to those of you in recovery for telling us what made your difference.
k
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
Parentrecovers,
I wanted to thank you for this thread.
As you know I am the addict. Ive never looked at it this way before, but all the questions you posted above are the same ones I have asked at one time or another. Ive just never thought about it on a scale as a whole. Ive always just sat back and thought that I have a home, I have food and my kids. But none of this is by my own gains. It is through the grace of my boyfriend. He also provides for my needs and even my cell phone.
This post has just made me sit back and realize that even though I am clean today and have been for the last year and a half, I quit working a program of recovery to a degree. I am 31 yo and have 3 kids and should be dependant upon myself. Not upon my bf. Sometimes the truth hurts. Thank you for the thread.
I wanted to thank you for this thread.
As you know I am the addict. Ive never looked at it this way before, but all the questions you posted above are the same ones I have asked at one time or another. Ive just never thought about it on a scale as a whole. Ive always just sat back and thought that I have a home, I have food and my kids. But none of this is by my own gains. It is through the grace of my boyfriend. He also provides for my needs and even my cell phone.
This post has just made me sit back and realize that even though I am clean today and have been for the last year and a half, I quit working a program of recovery to a degree. I am 31 yo and have 3 kids and should be dependant upon myself. Not upon my bf. Sometimes the truth hurts. Thank you for the thread.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Parentrecovers, My AH asked me, his mom and his sitster, the same questions, we all replied, your an adult its not our problem, somehow hes survived, and slowly hes starting to provide a few things for us, slowly hes getting it
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
I cannot give an "opinion" on why....
She is just plain old sick...and hasn't suffered enough...
PC...I love you and admire your strength..and what touches me
the most is how you consistently reach out to other struggling
alcoholics and addicts...
Don't ever give up on your child...we never do...
But take extra care of you...
Practicing tough love is a must right now.
Thoughts and prayers..
IO
She is just plain old sick...and hasn't suffered enough...
PC...I love you and admire your strength..and what touches me
the most is how you consistently reach out to other struggling
alcoholics and addicts...
Don't ever give up on your child...we never do...
But take extra care of you...
Practicing tough love is a must right now.
Thoughts and prayers..
IO
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