Krys_wyo

Last night I was at my husbands softball practice and one of the guys was drinking, and he was drunk, he was slurring, being loud and repeating everything he said like 5 times, not to mention stumbling and just idiotic.
However i found myself in almost a trance staring at him and watching him and feeling so embarresed for him, then i thought ....Was that Me???...I thought of so many times I was like that and what other people must have thought and I didnt not like that feeling at all. I got this gut wrenching feeling of embarresment for all the times i acted that way and i felt horrible I just wanted to run home and shower, then i thought...those are the feelings i need and that is how i want to feel when i see other people drunk those feelings help keep me sober all those awful embarresing memories.... i need them.

Do you need them?

cali

Yup-I have those moments too, sometimes frequently. I believe they are little "gifts", small glimpses of what I "was". I sometimes feel ambarassed too but then I smile, remember I am sober today, and living in the solution.

Anna

It's interesting how we live in denial when we are going through things like that and just aren't able or willing to see ourselves as we really are. Persective is everything.

Aysha

I know I have been strait and sitting around people getting high. And I watched how people act and the lengths they will go to just to get high.
Watching the way they act and listen to what they say. Just everything in that atmosphere has a whole different look when you ..yourself arent in it. (or high)
And I was like I cant believe how that stuff does people. That just isnt normal.
I was thinking this is really nuts.
But everything I saw I have done.
And it was like a big smack in the face.
It looks way ...way different when you are not high too.
I have been out in the streets doing my thing and came down and had this happen and gotten stuck because I was too ashamed to move.
Thinking ..What the hell am I doing? I cant believe I am out here doing this.
So ashamed I froze and was too embarrassed to get up and go.
Thinking about what you did and seeing it for yourself has a greater impact.
So yea..like Anna said....Perspective is definately everything.

BroncosFan

I can't wait until I feel that way Krys. In the past when I've tried to quit, I was always so jealous of people that were drinking. I thought they were having so much fun, and I'd never have that fun again. It's gonna be a great day when I see someone drinking, and be happy that it's not me.

MissKittyLuvs

Oh My ... that was totally me when I drank. Just an a**hole. Yes, I believe that remembering those times are very important to maintain sobriety. I like the person I am now and can't wait to love myself again, like I did before I became an ugly drunk ... One day at a time!

Krys_wyo

When I think of the word "fun" when associated with drinking i have to laugh, i always thought it was "fun" and now I think what was fun?...spending over $100 in a bar and nothing to show for it wasnt fun, 2 dui's and a night in jail was NO fun, sleeping on the bathroom floor was never fun, waking up and wondering how in the hell i got home (or sometimes where in the hell am I) wasnt fun, that god aweful pounding in my head from throwing up till 5am sure wasnt much fun, waking up in my car 3feet from the river not remembering how i got there and thanking god that my car high centered and got stuck and i didnt die drowning wasnt to much fun, and now reminising on so many embarrising memories well you guessed it....no fun at all.

So my fellow Mile High Fan, never regret all those "fun" times you might be missing cause in a few months you will soon discover the true meaning of fun when your little man starts to crawl and says DaDa when unsteadily walking toward you for the first time, and playing in the dirt and t-ball and football all of that is going to be so much more FUN then anything !!!

BroncosFan

Thanks!! Those are the reminders I need. That's why I'll be here everyday. For some reason my brain tricks me into thinking I'm missing out on something by not drinking, but I know that drinking causes me to miss out on everything.

angie9

Thats what I remind myself when I get the urge to drink tho thankfully the urges are not as strong as they used to be. With myself I visulise myself drinking then the feeling of being sick then BEING sick!! then that horrible hangover the next morning!! What gives me a buzz is looking at the money that I have that I DONT spend anymore on booze I spend that on my kids and pets and hubby in that order lol. My real test will be at christmas time when my family are big drinkers Im honest to say that Im not looking forward to it.
Ang

Aysha

When I get urges..I just relive what it feels like to come down and how awful and crazy it feels. Then how guilty it feels the next day and hoe crappy you feel.
I mean I make myself feel that despair when coming down and it makes me change my mind real quick.

lostmdboy

I guess this is why they say never forget your last drunk. If you do then I guess you will slip back to the old way of thinking. That it is ok to act these ways.

Change4life

Yea that was me. I use to think I was cool when I was drunk. the life of the party, now I am strting to realize what a fool I really looked like. Its something I need to remember so I never find myself being that drunken fool again