i can't stop crying.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 239
i can't stop crying.
hey all... i know i've written about this enough that your eyeballs may explode if you have to read this again...
but, i was doing so well with the exbf thing, although i'd see him at work (we work in the same school), i was o.k. with e'thing eventually... or so i thought. he has been seeing another teacher for atleast a few weeks... someone who was always there under my nose while we were dating... and i just found out today. i walked by her class room looking for another teacher, and there they were together... how cozy. and he has been staying after with her for quite some time....
i feel like i'm about to explode. its been two months since we broke up, but i can't stand it right now. she is a brilliant and lovely woman, and there she was, all this time, the two of them must have been eyeing each other all along.
all that bs from him, and in a months time he's moved on to someone who was there all along..
i can't stop crying.
i feel like sh!t.
i opened up to him with everything, and nothing meant anything to him.
just like that he's moved on. i expected him to eventually, but this was fast, and with someone i know!
please help me.
anyone... men, women, please....
i don't want to drink over it... thats the only good thing.
i can't stop crying.
i told him i hoped that i never see him again, and now i can't stand her either.
i know its not about me, i know she's a nice person, and i guess he is, too, and can do whatever he wants.
but i still can't stop crying.
but, i was doing so well with the exbf thing, although i'd see him at work (we work in the same school), i was o.k. with e'thing eventually... or so i thought. he has been seeing another teacher for atleast a few weeks... someone who was always there under my nose while we were dating... and i just found out today. i walked by her class room looking for another teacher, and there they were together... how cozy. and he has been staying after with her for quite some time....
i feel like i'm about to explode. its been two months since we broke up, but i can't stand it right now. she is a brilliant and lovely woman, and there she was, all this time, the two of them must have been eyeing each other all along.
all that bs from him, and in a months time he's moved on to someone who was there all along..
i can't stop crying.
i feel like sh!t.
i opened up to him with everything, and nothing meant anything to him.
just like that he's moved on. i expected him to eventually, but this was fast, and with someone i know!
please help me.
anyone... men, women, please....
i don't want to drink over it... thats the only good thing.
i can't stop crying.
i told him i hoped that i never see him again, and now i can't stand her either.
i know its not about me, i know she's a nice person, and i guess he is, too, and can do whatever he wants.
but i still can't stop crying.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Oh gg *hugs*
I know that pain only too well.It's hard when they move on so quickly and you're there wondering what's wrong with you! But the truth is-there's nothing wrong with you.It's about him and his choices but hell-it hurts-especially when it's right under your nose.It's hard to feel left behind.
Sometimes we just need to grieve-and it sounds like that's what you're doing.You will get over this hon.I promise it will pass.I know it just sucks right now and I wish I could give you a hug.I have very bony shoulders but you'd be welcome to cry on them :-)....
Just allow yourself to cry-and know it really will pass.I have no real advice-but I do care and understand.Good for you for not wanting to drink over this-that's something at least.I'm thinking of you
(((((((((((((((((((((gg)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Love,
Rosexox
I know that pain only too well.It's hard when they move on so quickly and you're there wondering what's wrong with you! But the truth is-there's nothing wrong with you.It's about him and his choices but hell-it hurts-especially when it's right under your nose.It's hard to feel left behind.
Sometimes we just need to grieve-and it sounds like that's what you're doing.You will get over this hon.I promise it will pass.I know it just sucks right now and I wish I could give you a hug.I have very bony shoulders but you'd be welcome to cry on them :-)....
Just allow yourself to cry-and know it really will pass.I have no real advice-but I do care and understand.Good for you for not wanting to drink over this-that's something at least.I'm thinking of you
(((((((((((((((((((((gg)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Love,
Rosexox
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Hi gg,
Wow, it's always so hard when someone can move on so quickly after a break-up. I think it can really shake your confidence when you thought you had something so special, and then...he's with someone else.
I think you just have to get through these feelings and let yourself feel and cry and know that it was meant to be and that it will get better.
Wow, it's always so hard when someone can move on so quickly after a break-up. I think it can really shake your confidence when you thought you had something so special, and then...he's with someone else.
I think you just have to get through these feelings and let yourself feel and cry and know that it was meant to be and that it will get better.
believer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
if he left you is because he does not deserve you...he wasn't ready for somebody special like you.
because you are worth of a real, respecting love...please stay strong, he is not worthy of a relapse, nobody is!
take care
because you are worth of a real, respecting love...please stay strong, he is not worthy of a relapse, nobody is!
take care
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
just like that (s)he's moved on.
However, my 4th step removed the guilt and anger, and helped me realize my part.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 239
thanks... my mind is going crazy... she was there while we were dating, and they would talk. makes me wonder if they wanted to date each other then... all the crazy crazy stuff!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggg
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggg
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
I can relate to your feelings, ghostgirl. I have a hard time letting go of people who don't love me when I feel a deep love for them. CoDA meetings are helping somewhat with this lately, and although I'm not what I consider to be a great Christian, this has helped me since I sobered up:
God's Mate Selection
Everyone longs to give himself or herself completely to someone, to have a deep and committed soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and unconditionally. But God says:
No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.
I love you, My child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me; exclusively of anyone or anything else; exclusively of any other desires and belongings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing -- one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.
Just keep your eyes on Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM.
Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.
You must be patient.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking up to Me, or you will miss what I want to give you.
And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even this minute to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me .. and this is perfect love.
God's Mate Selection
Everyone longs to give himself or herself completely to someone, to have a deep and committed soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and unconditionally. But God says:
No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.
I love you, My child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me; exclusively of anyone or anything else; exclusively of any other desires and belongings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing -- one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.
Just keep your eyes on Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM.
Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.
You must be patient.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking up to Me, or you will miss what I want to give you.
And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even this minute to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me .. and this is perfect love.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I cant offer any words of advice but I can offer a hug.
I can imagine the pain.
But there is someone out there for you.
Another one of my sayings on my page.
"DONT CRY FOR ANYONE WHO WONT CRY FOR YOU"
I hope you feel better.
I can imagine the pain.
But there is someone out there for you.
Another one of my sayings on my page.
"DONT CRY FOR ANYONE WHO WONT CRY FOR YOU"
I hope you feel better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 239
thanks astro.
you know, i will confess something. while we were dating, i wasn't sure if this was "the one" for me.
he even suggested that he would like to marry me some day (i can see now how full of sh!t he was), and i remember telling him whoooaa....
i have to confess there were some things about him that really bothered me. since this is all anonymous, i will say what bothered me...
he is 28 (i'm 36) and the age difference bothered me, but not so much as other things. he lives at home with his parents. i was understanding of this because he had moved in several months before we started dating because he had accummulated a lot of debt. he started working at the school and had planned to move out to his own place in march. well, its june, and he still hasn't moved out. he spends money like crazy, but can't get his own place. i was a bit bothered by that while we were dating, but figured it was his issue.
same with him saying he wanted to go back to school... he has no kids and no responsibilities beyond his job, but can't get his stuff together to get a place of his own or go to school.
also, he thinks when his (one of many) female friends farts and announces that it makes her g string vibrate, that is endearing... i think its sad. and smelling armpits is cool??? not quite grown.
i never told my family that he lived at home... i knew what they'd say.
i had a feeling that he had been seeing this other teacher for some time....
you know, i know in revealing this stuff i'm not keeping my side of the street clean.
but i guess i don't know why i'm so upset... i had a feeling that they'd been seeing each other for some time now. and like i said, i really wasn't sure if he was "the one" as they say.
but i really cared for him, believed his sh!t, and like him... loved him.
i feel stupid.
thanks for letting me vent.
you know, i will confess something. while we were dating, i wasn't sure if this was "the one" for me.
he even suggested that he would like to marry me some day (i can see now how full of sh!t he was), and i remember telling him whoooaa....
i have to confess there were some things about him that really bothered me. since this is all anonymous, i will say what bothered me...
he is 28 (i'm 36) and the age difference bothered me, but not so much as other things. he lives at home with his parents. i was understanding of this because he had moved in several months before we started dating because he had accummulated a lot of debt. he started working at the school and had planned to move out to his own place in march. well, its june, and he still hasn't moved out. he spends money like crazy, but can't get his own place. i was a bit bothered by that while we were dating, but figured it was his issue.
same with him saying he wanted to go back to school... he has no kids and no responsibilities beyond his job, but can't get his stuff together to get a place of his own or go to school.
also, he thinks when his (one of many) female friends farts and announces that it makes her g string vibrate, that is endearing... i think its sad. and smelling armpits is cool??? not quite grown.
i never told my family that he lived at home... i knew what they'd say.
i had a feeling that he had been seeing this other teacher for some time....
you know, i know in revealing this stuff i'm not keeping my side of the street clean.
but i guess i don't know why i'm so upset... i had a feeling that they'd been seeing each other for some time now. and like i said, i really wasn't sure if he was "the one" as they say.
but i really cared for him, believed his sh!t, and like him... loved him.
i feel stupid.
thanks for letting me vent.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Nope, I can't take his inventory and considering I'm engaged in some pretty sick relationship behavior right now I need to keep the focus on keeping my side of the street clean too.
Love yourself first, have patience, and trust that your soulmate is out there and will be there for you when you're ready.
Love yourself first, have patience, and trust that your soulmate is out there and will be there for you when you're ready.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
GG,
Just wanted to send you warm hugs as you grieve. Whether he was the one, he was obviously special to you in some way for a time, and it always hurts when they move on. I've gone through this in recovery, and I relapsed because of it. But today, no man is worth my recovery. All on your own you are a wonderful, caring person who deserves all the wonders that sobriety offers. Grieve, cry, feel. Just don't drink.
(((((hugs gg)))))))
Rowan
Just wanted to send you warm hugs as you grieve. Whether he was the one, he was obviously special to you in some way for a time, and it always hurts when they move on. I've gone through this in recovery, and I relapsed because of it. But today, no man is worth my recovery. All on your own you are a wonderful, caring person who deserves all the wonders that sobriety offers. Grieve, cry, feel. Just don't drink.
(((((hugs gg)))))))
Rowan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 239
thanks rowan... i really appreciate it. when he broke up with me and saw me a few days later, he said that he was afraid i'd drink over it... and i thought, well, i didn't get sober for you or anyone else, buddy.
((()))
gg
((()))
gg
Community Greeter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
Although it's obvious that he doesn't deserve you, you will grieve and when it's over you will get you're strength and confidence back. He hasn't showed you respect and I hope that you'll soon feel better. I'm sending you hugs for your heart to heal.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 65
Thanks for your quote of God's Mate Selection, Astro. I liked it a lot.
(((((GG)))))
I'm proud of you for not using over this and dealing with the grief and pain instead. This too shall pass. I can and do relate... I'm in a relationship that is 'not the one' and isn't the healthiest to say the least. Sometimes life gives us blessings in disguise. At least now, after you shed your last tear, you can move on to something better for yourself. When you are ready someone special, who truly cares about you, your dreams, your feelings and loves you unconditionally will come into your life. Sometimes it seems easier to stay in a situation that is not optimal because it is easier than letting go and there is some level of comfort and security to it... even when we find it is neither healthy nor entirely happy. Now you don't have to worry about that any longer. take the time to mourn, for there is no denying that this is painful.
you deserve someone who loves you for you, head to toe, inside and out!
you're in my prayers....
(((((GG)))))
I'm proud of you for not using over this and dealing with the grief and pain instead. This too shall pass. I can and do relate... I'm in a relationship that is 'not the one' and isn't the healthiest to say the least. Sometimes life gives us blessings in disguise. At least now, after you shed your last tear, you can move on to something better for yourself. When you are ready someone special, who truly cares about you, your dreams, your feelings and loves you unconditionally will come into your life. Sometimes it seems easier to stay in a situation that is not optimal because it is easier than letting go and there is some level of comfort and security to it... even when we find it is neither healthy nor entirely happy. Now you don't have to worry about that any longer. take the time to mourn, for there is no denying that this is painful.
you deserve someone who loves you for you, head to toe, inside and out!
you're in my prayers....
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