So starts a week of more healing.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
So starts a week of more healing.
Well tmorrow I do not have any appts.
But Tues I go to OP.
When I checked out of inpatient in March. I was suppose to go to OP. But never made it because I was too worried about work and got my old job back for the 4th time.
Well look what happened.
So even tho what happened 2 weeks ago was totaly insane. It is making me take time out to heal myself. Because I couldnt work if I wanted to. My wound is going to take a long time to heal.
My new job doesnt start until sometime in July.
So that is another blessing.
If I think about.. it's like it is all falling into place when it is suppose to.
The OP now while I am out on medical and in about a month I will be healed from my antics and have a month of OP in. Then the job starts.
Instead of...Man I gotta wait so long to get my life going again.
Things happen for a reason.
The timing couldnt be any more perfect.
It is like fate is forcing me to do what I have to do.
I am assured I have this job and I know my ex boss/ friend wouldnt not mislead me.
I may have smoked like a navajo chief but I have to keep me a job.
And that was my down fall last time.
I need to get this addiction addressed before I can make new ventures like the one I am so grateful to be handed to me in JUly.
Just wanted to post.
And let people like me who worry about the future know that. ....Everything will work its self out if you stay strong and just take it one day at a time.
I am really getting what the just for today saying means.
It took me awhile to figure out the real meaning of it.
But I am getting it.
And I want to thank all of you here too.
I dont know what I would do without you all.
In the little 3 mos that I have been on this board.
I have had quite a journey.
Many tears and many awakenings.
I could not have done that without everyone here.
By the way...Yall like my new avatar?
I found it last night.
My favorite thing to do in Florida when I needed to clear my mind was to go sit by the beach or the intercoastal at night and just stare out into the endless horizon. It is the most peaceful thing.
I miss it alot.
Now I cant remember where I found it and I want to put it on my myspace.
But Tues I go to OP.
When I checked out of inpatient in March. I was suppose to go to OP. But never made it because I was too worried about work and got my old job back for the 4th time.
Well look what happened.
So even tho what happened 2 weeks ago was totaly insane. It is making me take time out to heal myself. Because I couldnt work if I wanted to. My wound is going to take a long time to heal.
My new job doesnt start until sometime in July.
So that is another blessing.
If I think about.. it's like it is all falling into place when it is suppose to.
The OP now while I am out on medical and in about a month I will be healed from my antics and have a month of OP in. Then the job starts.
Instead of...Man I gotta wait so long to get my life going again.
Things happen for a reason.
The timing couldnt be any more perfect.
It is like fate is forcing me to do what I have to do.
I am assured I have this job and I know my ex boss/ friend wouldnt not mislead me.
I may have smoked like a navajo chief but I have to keep me a job.
And that was my down fall last time.
I need to get this addiction addressed before I can make new ventures like the one I am so grateful to be handed to me in JUly.
Just wanted to post.
And let people like me who worry about the future know that. ....Everything will work its self out if you stay strong and just take it one day at a time.
I am really getting what the just for today saying means.
It took me awhile to figure out the real meaning of it.
But I am getting it.
And I want to thank all of you here too.
I dont know what I would do without you all.
In the little 3 mos that I have been on this board.
I have had quite a journey.
Many tears and many awakenings.
I could not have done that without everyone here.
By the way...Yall like my new avatar?
I found it last night.
My favorite thing to do in Florida when I needed to clear my mind was to go sit by the beach or the intercoastal at night and just stare out into the endless horizon. It is the most peaceful thing.
I miss it alot.
Now I cant remember where I found it and I want to put it on my myspace.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
I need to stay focused in the moment, stop dwelling on the past and stop worrying about the future. One day at a time, for me one minute at a time.
I am just so worried all the time and the more i worry the more i tend to want to go back and drink
IM pretty wish washy, but i go up and dowm alot right now i guess i am feeling down.
three nights maybe 5 hours sleep. Its probab;y safe to say Im not thinking clearly. I should be patting myself on the back that I amde it threw day 3 even though I feel like my head id going to pop off my shoulders
I am just so worried all the time and the more i worry the more i tend to want to go back and drink
IM pretty wish washy, but i go up and dowm alot right now i guess i am feeling down.
three nights maybe 5 hours sleep. Its probab;y safe to say Im not thinking clearly. I should be patting myself on the back that I amde it threw day 3 even though I feel like my head id going to pop off my shoulders
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Yea ..I find it hard to stay in the here and now too.
The only problems with the past I have is dwelling on the good times and how fun it use to be.
I have no problem letting go of negativity.
But the future tends to be more of a problem.
I find myself already thinking about looking for a job in the mean time.
I cant even work so I need to stop.
I am so eager to get my life rolling again.
But thats where I get ahead of myself and start messin up.
I have to learn patience.
I am trying.
Your doing good bfree. Dont stop now.
The only problems with the past I have is dwelling on the good times and how fun it use to be.
I have no problem letting go of negativity.
But the future tends to be more of a problem.
I find myself already thinking about looking for a job in the mean time.
I cant even work so I need to stop.
I am so eager to get my life rolling again.
But thats where I get ahead of myself and start messin up.
I have to learn patience.
I am trying.
Your doing good bfree. Dont stop now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Originally Posted by chiynita 
The only problems with the past I have is dwelling on the good times and how fun it use to be.
Trish, remember what happened the last time you used - not so fun! What helped me, when I started thinking of how much fun I was missing, I started playing it all the way through to the end. Okay, so I've got the booze and I'm drinking and I'm laughing and my worries are floating away .. fast forward .. I'm drunk, I'm suicidal, I'm crying, I'm vomiting .. fast forward .. I'm hungover, I called in sick to work, I put my daughter in danger, I lost my bf, I'm filled with shame, guilt and regret.
And this helps me stay in today, and to let go of any notions that it was better while I was drinking.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
