crayola

Scary - would love to hear from a fellow newbie

Rusty Zipper

cray, welcome to SR and the wide, and we meen wide wide world of recovery...

cray, with over four years, everyday is day one...! "free beer tomorrow"

for me, looking back... my day one was the hardest thing i ever did in my life... well worth all the shake's, rattle's and roll's...

good wishes cray... and if it gets bad... git to a doc... pronto!

xxoo, bless... rz

JEI2950

Today is my day one , again . I relapsed yesterday afternoon , I still have DT's and cannot really see straight , but I am optimistic and I realize the mistake that I made , I had been sober for the longest time in my life 41 days and I am eager to get them and many more back ,(days) starting over is the hardest things to do , and it is going to be hard for me , not the drug and alcohol resistance thing ,the dealing with people who I have disapointed and let down , rebuilding a trust with Wife2be , I have already accepted that it may not happen , I have already told the children and they aren't mad just glad that I'm at home and safe W2be isn't talking to me and she took all the loving images of us and things that represented us off of her myspace thingy again , added her partygirl pictures again, with the words" I'm back " and has changed her username from Wife to Bitch again .Wow , I know the answer but I just want to ask you SR family , How do I find the strength not to allow these things to hurt me ? Will I ever be free of this sh*t , How can I ignore the fact that I was actually 41 days sober , to back to day one , I know the clean time is gone but how do I deal with it . PS WELCOME BACK CRAYOLA !! as you can see you are not by yourself . James

crayola

Thanks, Rusty! I'm more behaviorally addicted so I won't need a doc, but the folks here will be helpful I know. James, don't feel you wasted your clean days, just consider yourself on "Day 42 minus one" and get back to counting - the hurt is there but if you're home and clean I think you're doing what's got to be done now. I went 100 days plus last year and it was the happiest most productive time of my life, then convinced myself that I could drink in moderation - weee, back down the roller coaster! Good luck with your situation and many sincere thanks for the welcome!

Aysha

I have had so many day ones.
Hopefully I have had my last.
Glad you are here Crayola...Dont be scared.
This is day one of a new life.
Think of it as the first day you start living again.
It gets tough at times. But all things pass.
And the rewards are endless.
Hope to see you around.

JEI2950

Thank you Cray , Chiy , this forum has been exactly what I needed to guide me through "my feeling alone " period of my recovery , God bless you all , and thanx for reminding me that someone does care about me and want the best for me . love JEI.

Aysha

Np Jei.
You will be ok. like in my other post. I had 60 days for the first time in years until 2 weeks ago.
I let it get me so bad I almost took my life in a time my grams needed me the most.
So that was me being selfish and stupid.
But I learned something from it.
Maybe your girl is hurting too. So dont be too hard on her.
Time heals all wounds.

Anna

Hi Crayola,

Welcome! There is lots of support here so keep posting.


JEI,

Those things will hurt you, it's not possible to be unaffected. The thing is you can't control the outcome of what will happen between the two of you. All you can do is stay sober. Maybe it will work out, maybe not. But, you can only do what you can do. I know this is hard to accept and being patient is one of the hardest lessons of sobriety.

stone

Hi cray! I am on day 8 (again) not very far from day 1 really. My head is all over the place but I keep reminding myself it is early days. So, that would be my advice, remember any mental and emotional stuff is to be expected, and try and roll with it. Good luck!

JEI2950

Welcome back Chiy , you were also one of the people who when I first posted responded to my cries for help , thank you for then thank you for now , A lot of the people here at SR have been sort of an inspiration for me and I appreciate all the assistance over the last couple of months ,today I am realizing that we are still just human and that mistakes can be made at anytime. And I have a new appreciation for the fellowship that we share at SR , a lot of members have had difficulties lately , some of the names that popped up in regards to recent relapse , shook the crap out of me , I was saying , not so and so , she was strong as hell or I kinda looked up to so and so , Wow what happened ? But alas we are but mere mortals and we need each other , no one greater than the next , all together in this mess trying to lead each other out of it . Today despite all other posts , I feel closer to you all than ever before . for being there thanx , mad love JEI

CarolD

Welcome Cray.....

Here is a link full of information
excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit drinking

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I stay quit with God and AA.

I hope you find your answers to a healthier life of joy

Blessings

BTW....I am not on Day 1
and on my way to a meeting for prevention!

chimineria

Hi Crayola
Welcome to SR - not day one for me but close (week one).
Have had a string of day ones this year - and do not want to
see another one which is why I keep coming back here. There
is a lot to be learned from the things people have posted here.
I hope to see you around.
-P

crayola

Thanks! I tell myself that I have the experience of having gotten past 100 days last year and some of the tools that helped (SR being first among them, but even little indulgences like having root beer for a consolation treat instead of vodka help). Just have to get back in the mindset - I'm looking forward most to reaching that point where I didn't think all day "when can I start drinking? Is it time yet? God, what can I do to fill the next hour?" Amazing what we can convince ourselves is a normal life, huh?

AJD04

Hi Crayola and welcome!!
I am unforunately on day one again. I gave in yesterday but feel confident that I will do great from here on out. Was working at my parents yesterday and was continuously offered a drink which was very very difficult(parents don't know that I am trying to recover as they are alcoholics themselves). Altough I only had a couple, I still feel that is giving in. Came home and felt so guilty I hopped on SR just to see how everyone was doing.

We can start counting our days together!
(((HUGS)))

Surlyredhead

((((((crayola))))))) (((((((JEI2950))))))) ((((((((chiynita)))))))) (((((((stone))))))
(((((((chimineria)))))) ((((((AJD04))))))

I understand what you are all feeling right now, I have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach remembering how many day ones I've had. If only I had this place when I was struggling so very hard to get my sanity back and even string one week of clean days together. Please, when you feel like picking up, come here first, maybe you will change your mind...there is always someone here to give a cyber hug and who knows how you are feeling. I am rooting for all of you and I am here for all of you....

...Cathy

crayola

Thanks, AJ, would love to count days together! My first time on SR it meant so much to have someone who would check in - I'm one of those secret solitary drinkers so I don't really have much support. Thanks to Surly, too - love that picture of the cat! Too cute!

Aysha

Yea Jei..You are so right.
That beast can break the strongest of the strong.
The important thing is that you get something out of every experience.
And most of all. Stay in it to win. No matter what....Never give up.
I'm like a pitbull..I'M gonna keep coming back.
I have my days but so doesnt everyone with or without addiction. Thats just life.
I am tryng not to pick **** apart too much and just move forward.
Thats all we really can do.

Jules62

Welcome cray! I am on day 10 but had a lousy day yesterday(it really is a rollercoaster) but I didn't give in and am so thankful.I still get scared-yes and I still crave a drink sometimes.What I'm seeing though is-I just can't look at this in terms of 'the rest of my life without drinking'-it is truly about today and only today.As Rusty so wisely said-every day is day one in a way. I'm glad you joined us and please keep posting and reaching out.These boards have been a godsend to me-the support here is amazing.Hang in there,

Rose.

Rowan

Sorry I'm late to welcome you, Crayola. To you, and to others who are beginning again, never give up on yourselves. I had a couple of major relapses before grasping sobriety - just keep posting here and asking questions and reaching out for help - you'll get through it.

Rowan

leeds

Hi & Welcome! I am on Day 2... I had been doing well ( I thought ) with 20 days sober but then I had a really bad slip on Friday night. I'm just now feeling OK enough to come back online. I want to thank everyone who posted encouraging messages to me on Friday. I am hoping that with the help of SR and AA I will finally be able to stay sober. I just got home from a meeting & the support from the people there was wonderful...