kermit

I goy another e-mail, funny he must really want to be divorced. I'm tring to hold off untill the 13th, this way I can finish everything up on my terms, I mean he is the one who wouldn't get his own attorney or sign the papers before he left, Now it is going to be done on my terms, not his.. Feeling a little bitter right now.

I was missing this guy? No, you were all right, I don't miss him I hate being alone

LaTeeDa

Funny how they don't do what they are supposed to when they are supposed to, then when it suits them, they want everything on their their terms, huh? Let him squirm, I say. If he wants information, he can contact the courthouse, right?

L

dobiediva

I agree. He can look it up on his own!

kermit

Yes he can : 0 )

TriciaW

Why do you hate being alone? I think I would like that.

kermit

I'm not sure why, maybe because I Love loving

dobiediva

I know what you mean Kermit. I don't HAVE to have a man to be happy but I sure do like having my A around. We have a lot of fun together. I can honestly say I've never been bored with him around. It doesn't help that all my female friends are married with children so they don't get to go out much and I love going out and having fun--just not alone.

FormerDoormat

I agree with the others. Let him squirm. I actually enjoy spending time alone. But I was raised in a family of nine, and never had any time or space to myself. So alone time is a luxury to me.

fluffyflea

I learnt I can be alone and still love...........myself, son and my healthy friends.

Earthworm

Janitw

Hugs to ya Kermit...

I know how you feel too...my ex and I did absolutely everything together but drink...and you are right its just that being alone thing...I am getting used to it but it does take time. Force yourself out tho - its better for you than you know ok.

embraced2000

kermie.....i understand that feeling. i used to feel he "completed me"......blech!, yuck!, ewwww! unfortunately, those words wound up to describe my thinking...lol.

what i missed was feeling connected to my husband.....i used to be so proud to say, "my husband"....and there was a time that i felt so safe, secure, cherished, and loved by him....that was good, so very good.

and like dobie said.....it sure was never dull. even the simpliest things took on a glow like never before. working a crossword puzzle together was just as much fun, loving, and sexy as just about anything else we did for fun.

at the end, mine was pushing for his way on the time frame of things, except he was trying to shove back in......when it didn't work, he just got married to someone else. talk about feeling special!!!! wow....took the wind outta my sails, i'll tell ya. (not really...i was too much into recovery by then to let it devastate me)

it worked for me to do things on my own time, ignoring his quacking.
love to you
jeri

WantsOut

I think I'll feel really healed, and maybe you will too, when I can enjoy my aloneness and maybe be invovled with someone I enjoy but not have them be the center of my life.

You're doing great

loveRoy

When I was with AH, I was more alone than I am living by myself.

kermit

The hardest thing is seeing all the married couples, parents and wishing I had that. I will have it again someday, and it will be better then ever. Thanks everyone

guineapigjude

I do alot of drawing and crafting. AH has been gone since 4/18 (physically, that is. On all other levels, he had checked out a long time before that.) The other night I was looking at my drawiiing board, and came across some doodles I had made pre AH's leaving...a series of renderings off the word "lonely" in all different types of lettering. It struck me funny that I had written that while he was living with me, not after. Sort of like coming out of a fog...

StandingStrong

I loved being married. I loved having that someone to spend my life with, etc.
Sadly, it took me a long time to realize that I really didn't have a real marriage, I didn't have someone to SHARE my life with - I realized that "spending my life with" was a whole different thing!!!!!

What I find important in your post though is your determination to stand up for youself and do things on your term. It's called "independance" I believe and it's a big thing for a codie to experience.

You do what you need to do and take care of you. Sounds like you are doing a whole lot better today!

dobiediva

Wow. that's a great way to look at it!