Overwhelmed by change after quitting what do i do next?
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: down south
Posts: 58
Overwhelmed by change after quitting what do i do next?
Now That Ive got my ex and crack out of my life for 3 months-- in my art career and friendships such beautiful stuff is being offered to me I am overwhelmed. Can I handle it after being such a numbhead for so long? Just jump back into the game at top speed? Everything has happened so fast. Like the universe was just waiting for me to wake up and participate in life after crack.
I am dealing with this by 1. enjoying it and working towards what is has to offer in the way of a better life 2. Just being kind of "wired" to the point where I dont want to bother cooking much, and drink more than I should (maybe 3 glasses of wine a night) and smoke more than I should (more than a pack a day) and wake up at 4 am to eat. Naps in the daytime get me over these nic and wine mini hangovers but still why deal with even a small hangover every day and I am thinking my lungs are already not too happy after crack. I think I am lonely at night and got into this habit when my ex started always coming in late. I do have an appt. with a therapist next week which I am looking forward to since I havent had any professional help yet. I want to start forming a solid base in myself so I might find a lifelong partner. Since I have quit Crack I have come across an interesting mix of both addictive type men and really solid nice never addicted types. Like life is showing me whats out there. I am certainly not ready to get involved with anyone yet but its making me aware that its time to deal with some of my own deep long term issues so I can move forward to know myself better then find a real partner who has to offer what I have to offer .
Its wierd to have so many emotions happening at once- depression, elation, lonlieness, sadness, euphoria. I am kind of scared by it all. Not having my boyfriend of 6 year around anymore leaves me with amking decisions on my own and I am considering moving, changing jobs, possibly living in a big city small apt. where I may not be able to keep my dog (we wont part unless she has a super home to go to of course )
I am dealing with this by 1. enjoying it and working towards what is has to offer in the way of a better life 2. Just being kind of "wired" to the point where I dont want to bother cooking much, and drink more than I should (maybe 3 glasses of wine a night) and smoke more than I should (more than a pack a day) and wake up at 4 am to eat. Naps in the daytime get me over these nic and wine mini hangovers but still why deal with even a small hangover every day and I am thinking my lungs are already not too happy after crack. I think I am lonely at night and got into this habit when my ex started always coming in late. I do have an appt. with a therapist next week which I am looking forward to since I havent had any professional help yet. I want to start forming a solid base in myself so I might find a lifelong partner. Since I have quit Crack I have come across an interesting mix of both addictive type men and really solid nice never addicted types. Like life is showing me whats out there. I am certainly not ready to get involved with anyone yet but its making me aware that its time to deal with some of my own deep long term issues so I can move forward to know myself better then find a real partner who has to offer what I have to offer .
Its wierd to have so many emotions happening at once- depression, elation, lonlieness, sadness, euphoria. I am kind of scared by it all. Not having my boyfriend of 6 year around anymore leaves me with amking decisions on my own and I am considering moving, changing jobs, possibly living in a big city small apt. where I may not be able to keep my dog (we wont part unless she has a super home to go to of course )
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Lotustea,
It sounds like you are experiencing all the feelings that pop back up, once we stop numbing them for so long. I know you think crack was your problem but having three glass of wine a night and then dealing with hangovers sounds like it's going to take you back down the road to addiction again. But, that's just how I see it.
I am glad you see the world and opportunities opening up to you. Try to take things one at a time, and you'll find your way.
It sounds like you are experiencing all the feelings that pop back up, once we stop numbing them for so long. I know you think crack was your problem but having three glass of wine a night and then dealing with hangovers sounds like it's going to take you back down the road to addiction again. But, that's just how I see it.
I am glad you see the world and opportunities opening up to you. Try to take things one at a time, and you'll find your way.
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