Shedding guilt.
believer
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
Shedding guilt.
So here i am talking about a forbidden topic. Well i actually think these days it is not so forbidden. I really wanna share my experience of having a wrong behavior because of a distant relation with sexuality and also with the body in itself.It takes a lot of courage to talk about this.I went to other forums, but i saw them and i understood i couldn't post anywhere but here. I have realized today that i don't have a natural relation with sex.I am sure hath of the world doesn't. We are brought up in repression of feelings, not in a natural approach of what it means to man kind. I have realized that what i need is to have a healthy relation with sex. I can't abolish it.It's part of life.It is not like alcohol or drugs, it is actually a part of who we are.So big conclusion, sex isn't wrong out there, it was wrong in my head.My fear and view of sex as a dangerous thing became in my mind a repression and took me to promiscuity.Am i ashamed? Of course.But shall i live with guilt for the rest of my life? Also i believed sex had nothing to do with emotional issues, when love isn't there.Wrong. Anxiety, Sadness, devastation but most of all all the repression can appear in the sexual relation with our selves.How do i perceive myself? unfinished, too imperfect , i always believed the one next to me was better.What did that lead me to? The search for the perfect person to hold me....Bulll....What did i do to myself? i destroyed myself into a spiral of lows that i can't say anymore what moment is worse.Nobody will make me full by holding me unless i don't have an active center to receive that enzyme of love.......
Well if i can't throw sex away.And i should remind you i am a man.A young one, on top of that.Then i need to dig and understand that it isn't dirty, it isn't hidden, it isn't shameful at the eyes of God.Whenever i am having it, God is watching,and whenever he made us, he probably knew the hormone's part on our life.My life has been a hell, because i've lived with so much guilt.And this is the last part of the guilt i need to shed.It is natural, healthy and there is a balance i need to follow. I also need to realize i am not going to be filled by sexual relations of any kind but by a love relationship that has sex as a benefit of complementarity.I ran so much of becoming my father, and he always said i was too pure, it turned out like a plague on my life.For years i did not understand that the reason why i did not have a natural relation with it was because i kept it as a thing to run from...And no it doesn't matter the judgment, what or who...it only matters that i am learning that balance is necessary in everything we do.And only through looking and saying out loud what's going on i can see what i need to do to be alright...I have so much to do and a lot to fix quickly....It won't be easy...but i will remember one thing: what does my gut tell me?.....What does that voice tell you..The true voice will be heard if we let her speak and she will shut the addiction one.
Funny thing is i am a Libra, and you know the symbol is balance...lol...maybe it's a destination, not a start....
Well if i can't throw sex away.And i should remind you i am a man.A young one, on top of that.Then i need to dig and understand that it isn't dirty, it isn't hidden, it isn't shameful at the eyes of God.Whenever i am having it, God is watching,and whenever he made us, he probably knew the hormone's part on our life.My life has been a hell, because i've lived with so much guilt.And this is the last part of the guilt i need to shed.It is natural, healthy and there is a balance i need to follow. I also need to realize i am not going to be filled by sexual relations of any kind but by a love relationship that has sex as a benefit of complementarity.I ran so much of becoming my father, and he always said i was too pure, it turned out like a plague on my life.For years i did not understand that the reason why i did not have a natural relation with it was because i kept it as a thing to run from...And no it doesn't matter the judgment, what or who...it only matters that i am learning that balance is necessary in everything we do.And only through looking and saying out loud what's going on i can see what i need to do to be alright...I have so much to do and a lot to fix quickly....It won't be easy...but i will remember one thing: what does my gut tell me?.....What does that voice tell you..The true voice will be heard if we let her speak and she will shut the addiction one.
Funny thing is i am a Libra, and you know the symbol is balance...lol...maybe it's a destination, not a start....
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Karim,
I truly believe that balance is the answer in every aspect of life. It's something that I have learned after years of being over-achieving and perfectionist. Every day I strive to find a balance of the physical, mental and spiritual parts of my life.
I think many of us use different things to fill up the void inside ourselves. We feel empty and we want something to fill it. We want drugs or alcohol or sex or another person to fill up the space and we try and try but it doesn't work, ever. We need to figure out a way to fill the emptiness ourselves with love for ourselves. Karim, once you love yourself, I think you will find that it is easy to love each people and for other people to love you.
I truly believe that balance is the answer in every aspect of life. It's something that I have learned after years of being over-achieving and perfectionist. Every day I strive to find a balance of the physical, mental and spiritual parts of my life.
I think many of us use different things to fill up the void inside ourselves. We feel empty and we want something to fill it. We want drugs or alcohol or sex or another person to fill up the space and we try and try but it doesn't work, ever. We need to figure out a way to fill the emptiness ourselves with love for ourselves. Karim, once you love yourself, I think you will find that it is easy to love each people and for other people to love you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Hi karim!! 
I just think that you haven't yet found the woman that is meant for you. When you do, it will all work itself out. Its natural. It's actually what we were put on this earth for if you think about it?? Got to make babies to carry the world on. God doesn't look at you as a bad person for having sex, geese, I would be in hell by now! hehe! Its all god, just meet girls, get to know them, if sex is in the mix then good! If the 2 of you arent meant to be, then there are other fish in the sea. You are beaing too hard on yourself!!!!! OH, and there's also not ANYTHING wrong with masturbation either, everyone does it!! go find a nice woman who will make you happy
I just think that you haven't yet found the woman that is meant for you. When you do, it will all work itself out. Its natural. It's actually what we were put on this earth for if you think about it?? Got to make babies to carry the world on. God doesn't look at you as a bad person for having sex, geese, I would be in hell by now! hehe! Its all god, just meet girls, get to know them, if sex is in the mix then good! If the 2 of you arent meant to be, then there are other fish in the sea. You are beaing too hard on yourself!!!!! OH, and there's also not ANYTHING wrong with masturbation either, everyone does it!! go find a nice woman who will make you happy
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Well well, and my oh my my friend....
You have spiritual advice and technical....lol
The key concepts Anna and Tj already shared are to accept
where you are and to stop stop stop beating yourself into
a pulp!
Love you Karim...
Take a breath..and begin to create balance in your life...
The answers will come...
IO
You have spiritual advice and technical....lol
The key concepts Anna and Tj already shared are to accept
where you are and to stop stop stop beating yourself into
a pulp!
Love you Karim...
Take a breath..and begin to create balance in your life...
The answers will come...
IO
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
hehehe!!!! hehe talking about masturbation, (sorry to the peeps that are offended, but then again you are lying to yourself if you are!).
I have to tell you what Happened years ago when my son was young (hehehe!!!)
I went to take my shower and get ready for work.........well low and behold, there was a hole in the middle of the soap (about the size of the 'other' end of my shaver. (hehe) So the hole in the middle of the soap was about 3/4" in diameter..........
OMG I about peed when I seen this as I knew what he was up to. I looked at my shaver and the handle was soap packed!! I still tease him to this day and he says "thats right mama, I have a real clean ****!) he's a good man now and I DO believe it was healthy what he was doing
sex is a normal thing and a huge part or life karim, dont be ashamed or paranoid. Its what we were put on this earth for. Right?
I have to tell you what Happened years ago when my son was young (hehehe!!!)
I went to take my shower and get ready for work.........well low and behold, there was a hole in the middle of the soap (about the size of the 'other' end of my shaver. (hehe) So the hole in the middle of the soap was about 3/4" in diameter..........
OMG I about peed when I seen this as I knew what he was up to. I looked at my shaver and the handle was soap packed!! I still tease him to this day and he says "thats right mama, I have a real clean ****!) he's a good man now and I DO believe it was healthy what he was doing
sex is a normal thing and a huge part or life karim, dont be ashamed or paranoid. Its what we were put on this earth for. Right?
believer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
ok so it's 3 am and i am laughing out loud! Tj i think you know you're amazing....A comprehensible parent.....is a great support for a kid...and good mood always helps...thanks, through a good laugh you say the right things and i am feeling so happy..
Sherry i love you!you know that
Sherry i love you!you know that
talk tomorrow
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
well, there you go Karim...nothing more I can add here !
seriously tho, I really believe that for each and eveyone of us there is (at least) another who complements us...the hard bit is the waiting !
(Teej...hey, maybe you should start your own forum !! he he)
D
seriously tho, I really believe that for each and eveyone of us there is (at least) another who complements us...the hard bit is the waiting !
(Teej...hey, maybe you should start your own forum !! he he)
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Guilt - 4th step.
Character Defects (Losing balance with our God Given instincts) 7th step.
Notice I said God Given. Sex is natural, and enjoyable for a reason. Like everyone else has pointed out, balance.
My 4th step included a sexual inventory. I'll share in a general way, but I realized I was selfish sexually.
Character Defects (Losing balance with our God Given instincts) 7th step.
Notice I said God Given. Sex is natural, and enjoyable for a reason. Like everyone else has pointed out, balance.
My 4th step included a sexual inventory. I'll share in a general way, but I realized I was selfish sexually.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Originally Posted by Dee74 
(Teej...hey, maybe you should start your own forum !! he he)
it's gonna drive me nuts til I remember her name now ......??????hmmm
believer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
lol.Even i, in Europe, know Dr Ruth...lol...the Jay Leno fruitcake lady ...remember that one Tj and Stone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnudM458uz8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnudM458uz8
believer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
i watch it on cable....well i put the link up...in case you wanna laugh a little my friend!
here's another...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOODJkbiq8A&NR=1
you just have to laugh....
here's another...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOODJkbiq8A&NR=1
you just have to laugh....
believer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
Anyway, in the middle of the jokes and laughter i am managing my life and understanding balance is the key, things fall into place smoothly and reasons and explanations one day are there at the door if i search with no fear or judgment....Self love is not instantaneous but it starts on a decision, something individual and due to the courage of a person to fight for a God given gift....
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