unsure of

that's right!!! i fly up to NY friday morning to see my rabf for the first time since Sept4. I plan on picking him up at his halfway house and than spending the weekend at his family's house and doing things around town (Seeing family, friends, shopping, dinner etc.)

At first i wasn't that nervous to see him ( more excited) but i have to say over the weekend i have gotten nervous. I literally haven't seen him in 8 months. I have to admit that the last time i saw him he was actively using and i was glad to get away from him. in the past 8months i have learned alot about myself and i felt good about see him.

but i think i'm about to slip back into codie Polly. I feel like i need to know what our plans, are his plans and my plans are going to be for the weekend. i feel un nerved not knowing what is going to happen after we finally meet up.

see, i started to make plans and to tell him but he put a stop to all of them by saying; "i don't know what i am going to do. I was planning on going to some meetings and hanging out with my family. that's it.one day at a time, Polly." he was very sincere and i know it wasn't meant to drive me crazy. It's how is is working his program and it is working

that's it, plan and simple. no plans. ladies i know i'm not the only super planner in the world. please tell me how i can not plan when i only have four days. besides if i don't know what i'm doing how am i to pack, lol? <- codie excuse for sure.

i have made plans to see my family while i'm up there. and i have made plans to see my friends. he is might go to a few meetings with his friends which is great but said they are open meetings but he would rather that i didn't go. i understand that and can respect that. i can defineitly find things to do for those few hours see friends, homework, tv, read, hangout----

but when i was talking with my family and friends they don't understand "one day at a time" planning. which is adding to my stress. how can i respect his one day at a time and stop obessing over planning?

besides i want to be excited to see my bf after all this time i don't want to be stressed. FYI i have a deluxe pedicure schedule for thursday which is always nice and after that i'm getting my hair done. so i'm trying to self care. but my thoughts are border lining obessive on how to work things out on my long weekend.

thanks for all your insights. just writting this out to people who understand has helped.

love~

Jewelz

Polly, take a deep breath and relax. You have only four days together take it easy. Right now and hopefully for a while your boyfriend is living One day at time and thats just so healthy for him. Go with the moment and while he is doing for him..( Meetings) you take care of you. Try to explain to your family but if they dont understand it so be it as long as you do. I hope you have a nice trip in ny, the weather is getting better here. What part of Ny are you coming to?

Hugs,
Jewel

kj0975

I am just like u without a ininterary and exact planning it drives me nuts. I am not a fly by me seat kind of gal. One time out of the blue me and my friends decided to take a road trip. I was like ok I'll look up hotels and plan everything. They were like nope no plans just going. WHAT? HOW? I was in panic mode. You know what it all worked out we had fun and had no plans on anything.

Just go with the flow you will be amazed at how nice that is not worrying about a schedule and what your going to do. Go with no expectations and just go with it. You will be amazed at how nice things turn out. Also know he is probably just as nervous and probably doesnt know what to do either.

As far as packing I would pack one nice outfit incase u go out to a nice dinner and pack the rest as what u would normally wear. Go with the flow it will be fine and u will have a great time. No expectations. Just be with each other and catch up and really enjoy the person u fell in love with.

unsure of

Like i said earlier just knowing that you guys know how i feel has made me feel so much better.

reading your postshave made it easier for me to go with the flow.

my god i get to spend real time with him. and i am very thankful for that and for all your support throught these long months.

love

marle

Polly, Just have a great weekend and remember to keep those expectations in check. His recovery is important to him or he would not have spent those months where he is. Your recovery is important to you or you would not have spent those months where you are. Sending hugs and prayers for a nice peaceful weekend. Marle

patchoulli

I like to take my bike out on a sunday and just ride...no plan, don't know where I'm going...I look at it as an adventure. Think of your trip as an adventure...Have a great time..Marian

teke

i agree with the others, maybe its time to give your thinker a break, just rest your mind and go with the flow, i like what kj said. might find it fun. still praying for ya