A step...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Fairview, OK
Posts: 4
A step...
Well...I think I made a step tonight. I'm not sure what kind of step it is...I'll stop babbling now and get to it...:p
My husband was drinking today. He's been wanting me to become pregnant, and I told him last week that drinking will interfere with his fertility (an issue for us already, aside from the drinking) and he agreed to not drink for awhile, while we're trying to get pregnant. I think his drinking is more a problem for me than it is anyone else, because of my past experiences with drinkers. Anyway... He was drinking today and he came in wanting to kiss me and I just told him that I didn't like him being affectionate when he'd been drinking, as I've told him before and would he please stop. Needless to say he was angry at first. Later on, he was sort of giving me the silent treatment and I just said to him "Hey, I'm not trying to be mean, I just don't like you kissing me when you've been drinking, it's not a personal thing, it's just that I don't like it. I hope you can understand that I still love you, I just don't want you to kiss me when you've been drinking." He said he did, and I'm not sure he really did, but he quit giving me the silent treatment and I went on with my night.
I guess that's equal to a good thing. I don't know. I'm counting it as a positive though.
My husband was drinking today. He's been wanting me to become pregnant, and I told him last week that drinking will interfere with his fertility (an issue for us already, aside from the drinking) and he agreed to not drink for awhile, while we're trying to get pregnant. I think his drinking is more a problem for me than it is anyone else, because of my past experiences with drinkers. Anyway... He was drinking today and he came in wanting to kiss me and I just told him that I didn't like him being affectionate when he'd been drinking, as I've told him before and would he please stop. Needless to say he was angry at first. Later on, he was sort of giving me the silent treatment and I just said to him "Hey, I'm not trying to be mean, I just don't like you kissing me when you've been drinking, it's not a personal thing, it's just that I don't like it. I hope you can understand that I still love you, I just don't want you to kiss me when you've been drinking." He said he did, and I'm not sure he really did, but he quit giving me the silent treatment and I went on with my night.
I guess that's equal to a good thing. I don't know. I'm counting it as a positive though.
Learning to love life...
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 529
Hi Gina,
Yup, I think it is a good thing... especially since you did none of what would be considered "codependant" reactions. For example: You COULD have said "I don't feel good", "I have a headache" or even worse, you might have went thru with it even tho u didn't want to. You were honest and straightforward... And he'll just have to deal with the fact that there is at least ONE drawback to drinking
.
Take care
Meg
Yup, I think it is a good thing... especially since you did none of what would be considered "codependant" reactions. For example: You COULD have said "I don't feel good", "I have a headache" or even worse, you might have went thru with it even tho u didn't want to. You were honest and straightforward... And he'll just have to deal with the fact that there is at least ONE drawback to drinking
.Take care
Meg
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Hey Gina, I gotta agree w/Meg! Definately a good step. You set a boundary and stuck to it without an outragous reaction. You simply stated your reasons and stuck to the plan. Hooray!! Pat yourself on the back or better yet turn around and I'll pat for you!
Well Done, Constant
Well Done, Constant
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