obsessed

In my last post I was telling about my 18 year old going to Houston Texas which is 12 hours from our home. Well, she is there and I had told her that she was no longer welcome in our home. I was thinking today that maybe I am making more of it than I should but I can't believe she went with the 2 people that went also. I saw her best friend a bit ago and we were discussing how they got the money to go since none of them have jobs, and he said he was missing some money but said he could have possibly spent it and not realized. I called her early this afternoon and she was just hateful and I asked her what she was going to do when she got home and again was informed she did not want to deal with it right and I thought well I will let her come back home,I was gonna go get her clothes and put them back up but what do I do now???

BigSis

At 18, your daughter is an adult...even if she is acting childish. There is no reason you need to provide her with anything but love.

Perhaps having her own freedom and the responsibilities that go with it will bring her to a point of having to decide how she wants to live for the rest of her life.

18 is hard ... especially on the parents. I had to find other parents who had been through it and come out good on the other side to get me through. I found a few at Alanon meetings.

((hugs))

dollydo

She is of adult age, let her find her own way. Stick to your bounderies, jumping back and forth is not going to help her, you are sending out mixed messages.
If you say one thing and do another she will not take you seriously.

Elana

Dolly and BigSis took the words out of my mouth. Yes. You have to set boundaries you can stick to. At 18, your daughter is an adult and she can find her own path and be responsible for herself.

I can only add that she has made a choice, good or bad, and she now needs to enjoy the consequences of that choice. That is what adults do.

helpus

Try to stick to what you said without back pedling. I'm sorry your going through this. Hugs.

SaTiT

All i know is at 18 I was scared sheitless. I did the best I could.
I went to school full time, held a full time job and party a lot. That migical
number didn't mean anything realisticly as far as me being mature.
As if i had all the anwsers overnite. My brain wasn't even fully
developed. It was never enough under that roof.

To just love him....easier said than done
So when my 18 year old was 18...I knew how it was to be 18.
And I surely didn't want to treat him like the way I was treated.
Yes, I had to put up with his ir-responsibilties a bit longer.
I would had just settle for him just attending school full time or atleast
focus a little of following his dream of being a writter.

Instead he got a job and party all the time....i did that before too.
It took him another year to figure that out.
Damn military recuiter telling him all kinds of fibs also. Dodge
the bullet on that one. The boy thought it was cool to be
G I Joe.

Progress, I guess. He did enlisted again, out of all things.
He's attending tech school for the next couple of years in
intelligents...I always knew that boy was smart.
Not completely out of the woods yet and bullets are still flying.

I'm still a bit consern , I know he drinking more and making
some wierd decissions. It wouldn't surpirse me one bit, if he
calles tommorow and tell me he got Married.
I join the usaf and got married too....that was totally crazy.

I love him very much. Letting go is a pain in the arss.

mooselips

obsessed,
Hugs to you. Both of my sons were handfuls when they were 18, in fact, they knew it all.
I know this is true. What we learn through our lives is through experience, unfortunately, when someone knows the right direction we should go in, we seldom listen, especially if drugs are involved.

IMO, if she found her way to Houston, she can find her way back.

Let go, let her H.P. lead the way. Easy to say, hard to do, be strong.

marteen

I agree with the above. When my AD was 18, she had the mentality of a 12 yr old. We gave her several options and chances but when we realized we could not live a normal life because of her attitude and behavior, we knew we could not be under the same roof. If she wanted to live that way, she could figure it out herself.

Hugs to you.

hope213

sorry things are like they are. we learn here "hands off the addict".all we can do is let them learn there lessons & hit there bottom. sad as it is that is all we can do. work on your recovery & let her take care of herself. prayers for you both.