Hi, mtnmagic here...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Hi, mtnmagic here...
I am so worn and torn. I have drank today. I want to stave off the withdrawals that I know I will face. The last few days have been a blur. I really do know that I am killing myself.
Nothing that I do right now, relieves the anxiety. I have a non drinker for a boyrfiend. He tries so hard, just doesn't understand.
This place gave me such hope at Christmas time. I really need hope now. I know that I have to reach out as I get sober. I know that I just don't have much left in me.
Thank you if you understand...I really hope that I join before you one day soon and be proud of my sobriety.
Nothing that I do right now, relieves the anxiety. I have a non drinker for a boyrfiend. He tries so hard, just doesn't understand.
This place gave me such hope at Christmas time. I really need hope now. I know that I have to reach out as I get sober. I know that I just don't have much left in me.
Thank you if you understand...I really hope that I join before you one day soon and be proud of my sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 379
Mtnmagic -
I have found, for me at least, every day without alcohol is a day with less anxiety. The more I drank, the more anxious I became. The more anxious I became, the more I drank. It is a vicious circle.
Be proud of yourself for being here and asking questions.
If you are afraid of withdrawal, go to your doctor and be honest about your consumption. They can help you through it.
TinLizzy
I have found, for me at least, every day without alcohol is a day with less anxiety. The more I drank, the more anxious I became. The more anxious I became, the more I drank. It is a vicious circle.
Be proud of yourself for being here and asking questions.
If you are afraid of withdrawal, go to your doctor and be honest about your consumption. They can help you through it.
TinLizzy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Mtnmagic,
I have been where you are, feeling like I had to turn things around, but just not able to.
Be kind to yourself, first of all. Take a step outside the viscious cycle of drinking/self-blame and then you can begin to move forward. You simply can't give up - it's not an option.
I have been where you are, feeling like I had to turn things around, but just not able to.
Be kind to yourself, first of all. Take a step outside the viscious cycle of drinking/self-blame and then you can begin to move forward. You simply can't give up - it's not an option.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
OK, Thanks for responding. I know that I am fuzzy headed. I know that I have to give it time to stop. I know I will be very sick. The only way through this is through this.
I really want to be sober before I post on this board. So many of you have just got me thru, when I have just wanted to give up.
All of you have no idea of the message that you post. It really keeps some of us going one more minute, one more hour.
I really want to be sober before I post on this board. So many of you have just got me thru, when I have just wanted to give up.
All of you have no idea of the message that you post. It really keeps some of us going one more minute, one more hour.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Mtnmagic,
The fact that you are here, seeking help, and looking for a way to get through this, is what's important.
You're right, there is no easy way to detox and you should consider talking to your dr. It won't be easy, but you never have to do it again.
The fact that you are here, seeking help, and looking for a way to get through this, is what's important.
You're right, there is no easy way to detox and you should consider talking to your dr. It won't be easy, but you never have to do it again.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
I am so glad to see you mtnmagic 
. I was wondering where you've been. Please stay around this time... I'll make some tea and you bring the cookies. You can do it if you give yourself a chance to.
. I was wondering where you've been. Please stay around this time... I'll make some tea and you bring the cookies. You can do it if you give yourself a chance to.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Thanks gypsy..I well remember the tea and cookies. I will try very hard to stay here and get sober. Either I will or I will not. I want to very much. I know that I have to just buck up and do it.
Both my son's are so worried about me. How dare I do this to them.
Both my son's are so worried about me. How dare I do this to them.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Backwoods America
Posts: 77
When I got joined this site today, I really thought I'd drink before the day is over...My worst times are between 11am and 5pm---There is a good chance Ill make it --thinking about my son moviing in with his dad will get me drunk--so I'll hang around this site and by the grace of God I'll make it.....Hang in there..
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Hi mtnmagic...welcome. I am sorry you are feeling like roadkill...but if you stop drinking now, you NEVER have to feel this bad again!!! It is so important to remember how you feel today, it will help keep you sober!! Good luck..we are here for you!!!
Cathy
Cathy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
mtnmagic, welcome back.......you really have a desire to quit, and that means a lot......you can post here no matter what, sober or not.....you deserve support and to hear from those of us who care about you....and this place can help you find the right way for you to quit for good.....i really hope you do.....
Last edited by ayla zaire; 04-10-2007 at 05:16 PM.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Hi magic, post whenever you want don't worry about if you are drinking or drunk. We are here to support you whenever you need it.
I know you must be feeling awful, just be kind to yourself we are all in the same boat doing it day by day. Don't go beating yourself up.
I know you must be feeling awful, just be kind to yourself we are all in the same boat doing it day by day. Don't go beating yourself up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Thank all of you. I have stayed home, and not worried about the wreckage I know I have left behind me. I know there are better days ahead; I have been sober before. I just really need support right now. I so know that I can stop this.
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