kim1973berly

So I did take my phone off the hook last night because I dodn't want the kids to be awakened every 20 minutes. And what happens? The crazy girl (my sister) does try to kill herself. On top of her drinking for 5-6 hours she took like 10 Xanax. Thank God she was at the boyfriend's house that had been in the ICU. He called 911 and she was taken to the hospital. Now I kick myself in the butt. I knew I should have just let her come up here and tried to make it work.
My dad is going to use this event, his job as a Pastor, and his knowledge of the court system to try and get her committed today. I don't know how I feel about that either. We just need to get her safe and detoxed and then go from there. Thank you all so much for being here. I never knew that a group of folks that I only communicate with via messages would become such a vital part of my life.
I think tonight I hear a Naranon meeting beckoning me in.

notsleepingwell

(((Kim)))
Don't you dare kick yourself in the butt. You are no where responsible for her attempting to kill herself. And perhaps in that state she woulda done it in front of your kids. You cannot bring that chaos into your home.

Your sister is right where she needs to be right now. And only she got herself there. Let the professionals deal with it. You don't have the tools to do heavy therapy. And the kids don't need to see it!!

Hugs, and prayers for you and your family.

You're doing the right thing!!!

kim1973berly

Thanks gals. We are just simple a lost family this morning. Thank you for listening

BigSis

((kim)) And if you would have "saved" her? Do you think that would have stopped her? Perhaps THIS is what it takes. Maybe THIS will be her wakeup call. That is up to her Higher Power. He is with her, and was with her last night.

When we "save" them, sometimes, it is just before that "hard bottom" they need in order to get sober. Which means, we "save" them from sobriety.

Don't beat yourself up. Do get to that meeting. Do know that others here have been EXACTLY where you are. You are not alone.

((((hugs)))))

itiswhatitis...

kimberly,

i just wanted to say that my sister (i have custody of her 2 and 4 yr old because of her addiction) has been given the opportunity to live here (in a different state) last summer - her and her bf's gas and electric had been shut off - they had been boiling water for a bath once in a while and she came here when she got sick and tired of living like that - my husband and i told her that we could help her here - i could watch the kids while she worked - help her with a place to live, register kids (4 - an 11 and 8 yr old now with their dad and the lil guys here with me) for school - she stayed for a couple of weeks and then went back - when we took custody of the lil guys my mom got them when she was shocked by how sister had been living and she hadn't returned phone calls - that was 1 month and a week ago - i have never heard from my sister in all that time - i've vascilated between wanting to wring her neck to sheer pity - trying to understand addiction - and hoping she's not dead - we made it quite clear to sister,over the summer, that she and bf could kill themselves but that i would never allow her kids to have to live like that - i will take her kids for ever if i have to but my sister will never be welcome to live in my house again - ever - clean - sober - i think you did the right thing - the universe is unfolding as it should - whatever happens to your sister - you did what you needed to do for you and your family - to thine own self be true...

love,
s

teke

i agree with the others, i think that even though its your sister, you have those kids to protect. i hate to ask, but are you ready to allow her attempts to control you if you do one day decide to allow her to move in? i think that it would be good if your dad could commit her for awhile if nothing more but for observation. jmop though.

i'm an addict and sometimes addicts will try all kinds of dangerous stunts to get things to go their way and to manipulate the one they love the most. you never know when an addict decides to try to make good on a threat. i think, this is another reason why addiction is so dangerous, it makes you feel sucidal at times.

i hate to share what happened with me and how i thought sometimes when i was active.. when i was using, i thought of all kinds of crazy stuff to come up with to make my family feel guilty all because they decided to detach from me. it was like "ah ha, this is what you get for not enabling me". makes me wonder, what would she have done if the bf was not there to save her.

this is such a hard call, i'm so sorry that you are going through this kind of stuff with your sister, it has to be hard. i will keep all of you in my prayers

kim1973berly

Teke, itiswhatitis...thanks ladies. Next time I sure hope that I have something good to post. Either way, my husband is doing great. That feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop has passed. I was amazed that he and I actually talked about it and he was simply reassuring. Not in the way when he was using, but just genuinely open and honest.
Thanks everyone BigSis, thankyou.

parentrecovers

hey kim1973 - whatever was going to happen was going to happen. there is nothing you could have done to change it. blessings, k

dollydo

You did nothing wrong, you are entitled a life of peace and serinity...she will do what she will do...it is her call, not yours.

She is safe, and maybe, just maybe this will be her turning point...if it is not, that again is her choice.

Ann

You go girl!!! No, I mean You GO, girl!! And let us know how you like it. Meetings are a fabulous way to make positive changes to your life.

Hugs

greeteachday

(((((Kim)))))) I hope you are at your meeting tonight finding some serenity and some face to face support. You did what you had to do for your family and for your sister. Unfortunately "saving" when the addict we love isn't ready for recovery just lowers their bottom. Letting them face consequences on their won can raise the bottom. I pray this is the situation she needs to realize she needs help and to embrace recovery. Prayers for all of you.

caughtinthemid

I didn't kick my AS out for years when he was struggling with addiction because I honestly thought he would try to kill himself. When I finally got brave (or scared) enough to confront him, he went into rehab. His counselor said something to me that really hit home. He told me that many parents are afraid to enforce tough love for that very reason. But the truth is, they are killing themselves by continuing to use.

I really, really, hope you don't think you are responsible for your sisters actions. You are not, and who knows what would have gone down in your home had she stayed with you. As scary as a suicide attempt is, she is where she needs to be right now and so are you. I am proud of you for protecting your family that way from that tragedy.