marteen

Visited with AD at her new apt. a couple nights ago! First time I have “visited” with her and granddaughter in over a year. Grandbaby was only 4 months old the last time I was able to spend any time with her. Her small apt. was very nice and she seemed very good with the baby. The living room was so brightly lit but AD’s eyes were dilated as big as saucers. I kept my codie mouth shut, however. It is what it is and the visit gave me the opportunity to spend a little time with my granddaughter. She’s 19 mos. now and it’s hard to tell if she has any problems. She seemed a bit “detached” but that’s difficult to access. She did look directly in my eyes and she was very giggly! She was frightened of me at first but seemed to warm up while I was playing with her. She’s not very cuddly or kissy but some kids aren’t. She wouldn’t let me hug or kiss her goodbye, which did not bother me but AD kept getting mad at her and insisting. I told her to not make such a big deal out of it or make her little one feel bad. She will do what she feels comfortable doing in her own time. She is a little “person” not someone to perform. (I did say it nicely!)

Mr. M was sick or he would have gone too. He had a flu-like bug that has been going around and did not was to expose grandbaby to it. We were invited back and I told AD that they are welcome to come to dinner as long as she gives me enough notice now that I am working full-time and we can come pick them up.

I cried like a baby all the way home and when I got back. I guess it was my final sadness for what has been lost and for the fact that I know that AD is still using. And it was also the sadness that I have to accept it for what it is and cannot change it.

I’m ok now but am grateful that I have my recovery. Had this happened a couple years ago, I think I would have completely fallen apart.

Thank you, SR and those who comprise SR for affording me recovery skills that have become my “life” skills. For that, I am so very grateful.

Hugs,
Marteen

Jewelz

((((Marteen)))

I am glad you got to spend time with your grandbaby, dont feel bad because she didnt want to kiss you good bye, babies are fussy at that age.

I am proud of you Marteen!!!

Hugs,
Jewel

marteen

I agree, jewel. I was ok with it but AD was very angry with her, which made me feel bad. I think she just had unrealistic "expectations" about how her daughter would ask. I kind of said something like... "Well, you will find out as she gets older that you just can't control what your daugther says or does...." I think it was "lost" over my AD's head! lol

marle

Marteen, I love that you got to see your grandbaby. And also the comment about control. How ironic, huh I hope you get many more visits. She needs her grandma and grandpa. What other people give you the unconditional love that grandparents do. Hugs, Marle P.S. I know you are busy but I have missed you. Hope your job is going well.

marteen

Job is going pretty well but only been "on the floor" doing actual investigations for a little over a week. Need more under my belt to feel comfortable.

Time, however, may be freed up a little. There has been an awful lot going on that I have had to deal with. I needed the time. I've missed you too!

hope213

i am happy you got to see your grandbaby.we have to accept things in our life as they are.maybe she will call you soon & you can see her again.hugs,

Brownie

Hi Marteen! Glad you got to see your grandbaby. ((((HUGS))))

nevergivingup

I'm sooo happy to hear that you got to spend time with grandbaby!!!! They're soo sweet at that age! Just warm and squishy.... even if they don't want to be squished!!!!!

helpus

Marteen, I am so glad you got to see the little peanut!! So tell us, is she the absolute cutest baby in the world? It is nice you can finally spoil the cutie pie. I'm sorry your daughter is still using. I hope she soon can start the road to recovery.

wking2change

What a blessing - seeing your AD, your little angel grandbaby and how you handled things...I hope that, in two years time, I have your strength and courage. I'll be praying for you and your family!

abtchonamission

((((((((Marteen)))))))

I'm so happy for you...

Done_With_It

OMG!! I'm so happy 4 U!! I've been trying to keep an eye out for updates on this, but haven't seen any! I didn't even know she moved.
Maybe this indepence of hers will be what she needs to get her life together...
OMG!!!! I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Hangin' In

Marteen,

You know we go way back. I always knew you were a trooper and you've yet again proved it.

Recovery doesn't automatically cancel heartaches we have, but it sure helps us to handle them. I'm proud of you. Recovery looks good on you, my friend.

And your grandbaby just doesn't realize yet how blessed she is to have you. I have a feeling you'll be seeing more of her and what a blessing that will be for that precious little girl.

In the meantime, prayers for your AD, your grandbaby and you and Mr. Marteen.

Hugs,
Hangin' In
P.S. Hope Mr. Marteen is feeling better by now.

Wascally Wabbit

marteen,
I am so glad you got to see the baby!
Hopefully things will get better and you will all be close again.
I have one granddaughter about the same age. I love her with my whole being. They are precious.

frankie_b

I hope you'll see more of precious grandbaby as she needs someone so special as you in her life and you deserve all her sweet love. Oh I can understand your heart welling up with sadness.
(((( Marteen ))))

greeteachday

(((((((Marteen))))))
First, I've missed you so much and it is wonderful to see you posting and with the joyous news of spending time with your precious grand daughter. I know she will be warming up to you to the point where it is all hugs and kisses very soon because she must feel the love you radiate.

I'm sorry your daughter is still using and pray her time comes soon. Your recovery is shining and your HP has brought you to this place for wonderful things to happen. Love, hugs and prayers for all of you and extra hugs for you!

marteen

Thanks, all!

And yes, this little girl is such a precious little thing. AD has a picture when she was about 6 mos. old in a frame and I swear that it looks just like AD did at that age!

AD was kicked out of the baby's father's mother's house! Can't believe all that she tells me but for whatever reason, she is trying to be on her own. I pray that "something" will kick in and take her down a better path.

outonalimb

(((((Marteen!!!)))))))

I'm so happy for you...and for that sweet, precious grandbaby...
I bet she is adorable...She's blessed to have such a loving and wise grandma...

I've missed you, my friend!
Big hugs to you!!

bookmiser

((((((Marteen))))))

I've missed you too, sweetie. It's good to hear from ya.
So glad ya got to spend some time with your granddaughter.
She sounds precious.



Sending prayers up for mother and daughter.
Special prayers for grandma and grandpa too.
A get well soon for Mr. M from me.
Hope you love the new job.
Love ya,

CatsPajamas

Oh Marteen,

How wonderful that you were able to spend time with your girls! Recovery sure does look good on you...

Like you said, it's sad, but it is what it is. By detaching with love, you're able to see your granddaughter and enjoy the child, and you're also able to let your daughter learn her life lessons.

I liked your idea that maybe being "kicked out" will be the impetus for recovery to "kick in". We can only hope and pray!

Hugs
~Cat