frustrated1

It's been about 3 weeks since my last post. My daughter had called and asked if I could give her a ride to court and I did. As soon as she got in the car she said she she was ready to give rehab another try (she walked out after 3 days at he last place) and could she come home till she could get in. We agreed and I just dropped her off at another facility on Wednesday. She's called each day but didn't take a calling card so that way she couldn't call her friends to come get her. She sounds good and says she doesn't have the feeling to walk out at this place. The last place she was at she was at about a year ago and it was a complete repeat. She gave permission to her counselor to talk with us and she called yesterday. It seems her main focus now is still drinking on her 21st birthday coming up in about 2 months. I'm hoping this will pass with longer clean time and counseling. She will be going to a halfway house after, so maybe that will help her also.


Sunday we have a 5 hour family group and then 2 hours visitation. I am so afraid of saying something wrong then or on the phone. I just try to keep it simple for now. Anyway, just thought I'd keep everyone updated because your support was so helpful over the last few weeks. Thanks!

helpus

Frustrated, You must be so proud. She sounds like shes really trying right now. Making the choice not to have a calling card says shes thinking things through. I understand you worry about the 21 st b day. My daughter turned 21 at the end of last november. She tallked about the drinking for a couple months prior as well. But you know what, as it go closer, she talked about it less. Her friends she had from the halfway house (she went in in at the end of july. She was out in november.) I was sooo scared for her. She was with a good group of friends she met at the 1/2 way house, and meetings. They all got together & helped her celebrate sober style. they had a poker game, watched movies, and went out to eat at about 11:00 pm. She had an absolute ball. One thing I will say is if your daughter finds herself a good group of friends, they really do try awful hard to help each other. Does your she have a sponser yet??

marle

Sending some hugs and prayers your way. My AD will be 21 in about two months. I pray everyday that she will soon want rehab. Sounds like your daughter is ready to hear what she needs to give recovery another try. Hugs, Marle

parentrecovers

great news, frus1, great news! prayers to your daughter and the rest of you involved.

all i can say is be a good listener. if she's anything like my 22 year old daughter in early recovery - once yours opens up to the idea of recovery, you might just be lucky to get a word in edgewise

let us know how family sessions go - we (my husband and i) found them to be very valuable, time well spent.

no right or wrong answers. just be honest.

blessings, and thanks for sharing such a great report! blessings, k

helpus

Hope you can figure out what i was trying to say. I didn't proof read untill the edit button disapeared. oppps

teke

glad to see that your daughter is finally looking like she is really, i believe that as long as she's staying, the subject about her still wanting to drink, will probably be addressed and that she'll probably change her mind, hopefully anyway. its good that she is going to a halfway house, the longer the better, i think, but its still up to her.

while i was in rehab, that was one of the most peaceful times that i had had in a long time. you may not have to be as concerned about what to talk about, she may be kind of excited about her new found freedom and want to do most of the talking. i pray that all goes well.

hopeforever

frustated!!
im happyfor u and you dougther!!
thats a good start!!
GOD bless u!!

greeteachday

I'm so glad for you that this time she wants to truly give it a try and pray this is her time. I too found family sessions to be incredibly helpful and enlightening. Try not to worry about what to say...I found honesty was as always the best policy and just enjoying being with my daughter made those times precious and memorable. She will be doing her work in there, you don't have to struggle with saying the right things. If something uncomfortable should get mentioned in your visit, she is in the perfect place to work through it and come to terms. Your program sounds exactly like one my daughter had...the 5 hour family group then visiting. Family group helped me so much and the visit was a joy! Hugs and prayers; I will be thinking of you this weekend.

marle

If your daughter tries to lay blame just remember that it is her perceptions. They may not reflect your reality just hers. I know my daughter has resentments that I wanted her to be perfect. That is her perception. My perception was that I just wanted her life to be perfect and free from struggle. We see things differently and that is okay. Hugs, Marle

BigSis

(((Frustrated1))) There is nothing you can say... Not. One. Thing. That can make her go back out and be an active addict.

You can't cause it.

Honesty can be uncomfortable. The great thing about family programs is there is a moderator/referee... smile. I always deferred to the counselor (though I didn't always agree with them... remember, I was still Queen of All and had Great and Wonderful Knowledge about Everything before I got here).

The counselor can tell how much honesty is "too much".

Family week was cathartic and I left feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted for a while. I hope it goes well for you.


(((hugs)))

mooselips

I think her acceptance, and requesting to go back to Rehab is a wonderful step in the right direction.


Try not to think ahead to that 21st birthday, she just may change her mind before then.

My oldest son feels that if he is clean of all other drugs, then he can freely drink alcohol. I see it as a substitute drug...but that's my feeling....

Hugs,

hope213

i am glad your daughter is in rehab. try to keep the focus on yourself but be encouraging to her. stay in the day..prayers, hope