Ric

Well, Im 4 days clean from any opiates. I can honestly say it wasn't that bad.
I dont know what it is, but when you go through Withdrawals a few times a month, your body seems to adjust.

But that's a problem.

I remember the life I had before I started using Opiates (it was Oxy's 1st, now snorting Heroin).

It wasn't too bad. Had a lot more positive going on than now.

My problem is this, I started using about 5 years ago (Im 27) and for the first few years I made a whole lot of money in my job.
This makes it hard to quit because I always have a means of getting my daily dose.

As I said, Im 4 days clean BECAUSE I wanted to be. But I know it probably wont last. Ive done this too many times. Quit for a week, a month maybe two months, then miss that feeling and run right back.

I would say I have been pretty lucky during my years of using. I never got caught by the Police (which was good since I always am armed) and that would have been a few felonies on my record. And I never got robbed or anything like that which is rare since Im white. I became close with a few of the very elite dealers of Baltimore City. And if you know Baltimore City at all, its a war zone. So I count my blessings.

And dont get me wrong, Ive tried. I got clean a few times and traveled across the world to stay away from the dealers. But you know what? In many other countries (at least in Asia) you can buy Morphine pills like they are candy.

Im a damn mess. I just cant stop the love affair with Opiates. Im going to try harder then I ever have before this time, but I know my own record.

I recently bought a house out here in western Pennsylvania near Pittsburgh just to get away from it all. But I found myself driving 4 hours to Baltimore to pick up a large amount of dope to last me for the month.

What do you if you have no will power to stop something so incredible?

Thanks for your comments.

Ann

I moved this post here, Ric, hope you don't mind.

Ann

ayla zaire

welcome, ric....you will find help and support here.....and if you read some of our posts, you can see that it is not impossible......so many people, just like you, do it every day........

my husband has been sober for 20 years......he was in rehab the first time when he was a teenager......now he is a normal, good guy....a great dad and husband......

i hope you find the help you are looking for...

hugs
ayla

Missymae737

Hello and welcome to SR.

I to had an affair with opiates, and I justified the usage. It was prescribed medication/I found my life was unmanageable, living from script to script. This went on for two years. When I ran out, I went through withdrawal and drank alcohol to make it to the next script. I decided I didn't want to live this way anymore.

Believe in yourself, you can do this.

CarolD

Hi amd Welcome to SR!

chicago

we got alot in common. im 27 and i kicked heroin in jan 2006. all you gotta do is make a meeting and let everyone know your new. they'll tell you what to do...its pretty simple. get a sponser and make meetings...you'll be amazed what will happen to your life (thats an understatement). PM me if you wanna talk.

Ric

I want to thank all of you from the depths of my heart!

Today is day 5. I woke up with a feeling I hadn't had in a long time. I was well rested, happy and a bit overwhelmed with a whole day.

Im not sick anymore, so I know I will have to occupy my brain with activities.

Maybe I'll go to the shooting range and give my new toy a workout. Maybe go to the Banres and Noble and drown my brain with knowledge.

But I can tell today is going to be a good day. Plus Im not chained to the floor from my addiction, I actually have some freedom now.

Thanks everyone!

Missymae737

Hi Ric,

Glad you are doing well. Keep us posted.

Today will be a good day. You can do this!

ayla zaire

ric....you sound fantastic! remember this feeling the next time you are tempted to use.......and keeping busy is a very good idea......i hope you had a great day!!!(what i wouldn't give for an afternoon at barnes and noble)

hugs
ayla