Irej76

Where do I even start? I feel so overwhelmed by life.. I started turning to alcohol (vodka) about 8 months ago.. My husband and I have many problems in our marriage and all the issues that come with a blended family. He started traveling more and more for work and I started turning to vodka to numb the sadness that I was feeling. I tried talking to him about it but he didnt want to listen to me - he grew up with a mom who drank/drinks a bottle of wine everynight and is a successful business woman. His dismissal of my alcohol consumption at the time reaffirmed that I didnt have a problem - or so I wanted to believe. That is until I started realizing that I was drinking a bottle of vodka every two days. I am only 30 years old - I have two amazing children and I dont want to be this woman any more - I dont want to depend on vodka to make me "feel better" - but where do I start? I came accross you all and I feel hopeful - anyway I just wanted to introduce myself.

australia

hi. Im new here too. I understand exactly what you mean. I posted for the first time last night that exact question..."where do I start?" "how do i start?"
Its so tough...I completely get the not wanting to be 'that' person anymore...living 'that' life...
You know if you have a problem...so trust yourself..
I am seven and a half hours sober...its a blessing i got that far...
cant wait till its a day..
Just try to not drink for the now...
Keep posting...let it all out...no one here will mind...
I dont think anything that could possibly be said would shock anyone...
keep talking and posting..it does help.
Thinking of you

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

Here is my suggestion...
find info on the disease of alcoholism.

My favorite resource on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"

Both can be ordered from Amazon.

We also have excerpts from "Under"
Please click
1. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Take care...keep posting...ask questions

teej

Hi Irej76!!
Glad you found SR, this is a great place. -- Kinda like a big family. 14 days ago I was drinking 24 beers a day. By the grace of god, all of these people on here and AA, I am working on getting my freedom back. First few days suck, but you can do it!!! Keep posting and let us know how you are doing!!

tj

Irej76

I find it puzzeling that we all started out using alcohol or whatever to make life better or for the temporary bandaid and now we are prisioners to it and acheing for our freedom. Thanks to all for the warm welcome --

h4lov909

i am also new, be glad u got smart at 8 months i have wasted 6 years and may have lost everything u can do it remember the good times before the vodka being a real person its been a long time for me but im trying to rember!!!!! 30.5 hrs and counting

Tyrant

i know...hugs...im here i will listen

Missymae737

Hello and welcome to SR.

You said it so right, a temporary bandaid to stop us, and for myself, it was to stop feeling emotional pain. I hate the feeling of loss, being to angry, feeling lonely, feeling not worth much, feeling ashamed, and the list goes on. When the bandaid comes off, usually you are left with more uncomfortable feelings. We can come out of this prison, if we stay sober.

You can do this!
We are here for you.

chrisj728

Hi Irej & welcome,
Irej from your initial posts it is clear that you have been positive enough to realise you have a problem with alcohol and secondly you have sought help.Two of the most important things needed to come out of denial and in to recovery.
In my own experience as soon as I had accepted defeat by alcohol then my attitude changed towards my addiction.I no longer felt trapped by the vodka that had been my emotional crutch for many years,I actualy saw it as the enemy of my freedom.I to sought help,and chose the rooms of AA where I gained not only a knowledge of alcoholism but also a programme of recovery.
I also found that knowing that I wasn't the only one with drinking problems was a great comfort as I heard similar stories to my own.
As far as your husbands understanding,well I also grew up in an enviroment where drinking was the norm and untill I started struggling with alcohol I realy saw no harm in it.
As far as where do you start,well if you dont take the first drink you wont take the second,third or fourth.Easy to say but hard to achieve,but if you are serious about your need for recovery you will find the strength not to take that first drink.I wish you well in your quest.
keep reading & posting.

chris

Hivemind

The first step is admitting there is a problem. Well Done, as Chris said, the next step is to not take that first drink, trust me, all of us here know that is not an easy thing to do. It's much easier to stop "tomorrow". Blessings to you