burnout

i just realzed tonight that i am an alcholic. i intended to just drink one beer but instead i ended up drinking 9 beers and i am still drinking. my goal was to go an entite month without drinking but i only made it 10 days.

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

Only you can decide if you are or are not an alcoholic.
I knew I was for years before I quit drinking.

My long term depression is why I decided to quit.

If drinking is causing you problems..any problems..
then you might consider a recovery program.
Did you do that when you stopped before?

It's good to see you here..

GlassPrisoner

Inability to control intake and not being able to abstain for a period of time are two idicators that you may be alcoholic.

Stick around, read what people have to say, follow their suggetions.

Good Luck and God Bless

Dom

I also did not think I was an addict until I got some education about the disease. I now realize that I have the disease of addiction. I am an addict. Our disease is dormant until the next time we use. Our disease is chronic (we have it for life), and it's progressive (1 bag or 1 beer leads to 2, then to 9), until our lives are out of control and unmanageable.

Sorry if I jumped the gun here, but I am just learning all this stuff myself. I've been sober for 12 days now.

teej

Good Job Dom! I'm right behind ya. 3rd day for me.

getn2gether

Great Job! 12 days sober! I am on number 8 and feeling good. Love AA and the steps... The weird thing I have no desire for alcohol... once I started realizing why I was drinking... Long road ahead... but today has been a great day. Ive learned alot in AA.

Good Luck!
Kimberly

Golfman

Getn2gether,

I lived in Slidell for 12 years. I went back to see my house after Katrina and it was gone. I lived off of Pontchatrain Drive, very close to Salmen High. I hope you fared better than my house did.

I got sober in Slidell. Went to meetings twice a day. That was quite some time ago though. Having no desire to drink is a miracle, the same thing happened to me the moment I made the decision to get help. I'm so proud of your 8 days of sobriety. Where do you go to meetings?

Golfman

Dom,

I'm so glad you're on your way! Keep in mind that the real problem lies with us, not the drug of choice. The programs of AA and NA teach us that when the drink/drug is gone, the real work begins. On the surface I drank because I'm an alcoholic. The underlying causes and conditions that led to my drinking were buried deep inside me. I'm glad you're feeling good today, my suggestion would be to go to an AA/NA meeting and share how you feel.

This is not meant to scare you, but I felt more pain and heartache sober than I ever did when I was drunk. It says that men and women drink essentially to get the ease and comfort that the first drink brings. After that, we're always looking for that same ease and comfort every time we use/drink. Without the drink/drug, we need to find that same ease and comfort somewhere else. That's where the programs of AA and NA come in. They will introduce you to a new way of life based on finding a God of your understanding.

You've been blessed with some sober days. Go find out where they came from!

StagebearNJ

That's a tough realization and it takes guts to admit it, anywhere. Stay around...please.
Da Bear

NYCGirl

I too knew for year that was an alcohlic but I liked my buzz and my partyimg to mch so I deemed myself a functioning alcoholic.... nice try... till I got to the ont werei couldn't function with out it...

Welcome, you will find a ton of support here on your road through recovery

Laroblo

Dom, Welcome to SR

I am learning that there is no such thing as a "functional alcoholic". The only reality that statement has is in the mind of the alcoholic. Everyone else knows exactly where you stand. Drunk!

Good Luck. This is a wonderful place to find solace, help, a kind word and Sobriety. Always remember, a lot of us fall, but there is always a member to pick us back up. That goes for you too.

Dom

Thanks for the kind words everyone, I hope burnout follows this thread and stays here.

I've gotten most of my education of our disease from rehab. After my relapse I was scared and called my insurance company. They refered to a local recovery center. I am there 15 hours a week, and I actually enjoy it there and look forward to going.

I am required to start going to meetings, join a home group, and get a sponser. The only thing I am having a tough time doing is finding the deep doing underlying meanings of my using. I'm going to be patient with it. Thanks again. I feel great today and look forward to tomorrow.

carly0009

Burnout ........ think of all us ladies that want to diet. The minute I think I can't have a piece of chocolate by day three I'm uncontrollable. Only you know what you are or are not. I'd look at the reasons why those days happen when you overindulge. If you can make peace with your demons before you have a full blown case of alcoholism, that's the best for you.

Be honest with yourself but don't beat yourself up either. You can only do the best you can and when you know better you'll do better and coming here to see where you are is you ultimately caring about yourself.

(Note: not in AA but wanting better for myself as well)

getn2gether

Hey! Wow Pontontrain got wiped out.. especially by Salman. I lived in Lake Wood Subdivision off of Gause and weathered the hurricane.. just some trees down.

I go to meetings off of Third Street.. Alano Club. Ive been to several meetings in Old Town too. I have lived in Slidell for 18 years.. went to Gulfport briefly.. came back to Slidell. Just now realizing it's not really Slidell I despised.. I just despised myself in Slidell! So decided to quit running and face the fact... No matter where I go..THERE I AM! haha It's a miracle in itself my desire for alcohol is gone.. and I am grateful.. My choices on alcohol has caused alot of grief for people that love me.. Three marriages later.... going through another divorce... dealing with my mom's death... children that dont speak to me... and I remain sober. Truly blessed feeling. Knowing my future is turning for the better is enough to make me not take that first drink. Where do you live now?

Kimbery

Golfman

I live in Nashville now. You must have moved to Slidell around the time that I left. I moved up here in January, 1989. I wish I could remember some names from AA in Slidell, but after 18 years it's just a blur.

You are truly blessed considering what you describe above. Regarding your children, the best way to let them know you still care for them is to stay sober. Usually with recovering alcoholics, talk is cheap. It's the action we take that make all the difference. After a while if you get the chance to see your children, they will notice a big change in you. Many times a reconciliation occurs and years of bad feelings slip away. Work the steps, go to meetings, and most of all, continue to develop a relationship with the "God of your understanding."

PS. glad to hear you made it through the hurricane!!!!

sober..finally

Dom,

The deep down reasons will be evident in steps 4 &5. For now concentrate on 1-2-3 work with a sponsor and keep coming back.

Scoty

Dom

I never thought I would be working the steps. But now here I am! Thanks Scoty I'm going to read the steps during the break at tonights meeting.