tashna

such a typical story.......im a hypocrite anyway..im an alco myself!
so boring and shows my inability to...handle things..
im so confused..my father is a lifetime alcoholic(hes also lost his wife..4 years ago) and he has just started up again(drinking) after he DID stop for a month.. i had a one month taste of this amazing man who is all i have(my mothers dead).
in sobriety he has such amazing wisdom and compassion and love....and he knows everything he has to do to stay sober(which when hes sober- is such an achievement/what he wants..hes proud of every day sober)
i didnt see him on sunday night...which i promised to do..but i was having dramas of my own...and i really didnt have the strength.also i heard of something really bad he did in a blackout
how i wish i wasnt selfish that night...it could have given me and him...'the real him'
theres so much more..but im ranting......
the thing that gets me...is on saturday..i trold him how i was going away to help myself-and needed him to be straight for me..
i am selfish..i just wish he'd understand that he cant ever ever drink(but he knows that!!!-hes told me that)...and that i need him so much
what can i do???any help would be GOLD
thanks....sorry for ranting and being hypocritical
aggggh
tashi

Seanjitsu

Hey Tashna, don't beat yourself up about your father drinking again. I know that is easier said than done but you HAVE to realize that no human power, even yourself, can relieve your father's alcoholism.

nocellphone

tashna....

I hope you'll choose to give yourself a break over this soon. The only person's sobriety you're responsible for is your own. No one can reasonably be expected to be around an alcoholic loved one 24-hours-a-day and acting as a buffer between them and the next drink, at least not if they want to maintain their own sanity.

Dad's drinking is not your fault. You didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it. That's what Al-Anon taught me, and I believe this to be true.

CatsTail

You don't have the power to stop your Dad from drinking ut you do if you are willing have the powwer to stop yourself from drinking through Alcoholics Anonymous.

kEEP COMING BACK HERE.

cAT

dollydo

The only person you are in control of is you. You can cry, you can beg, you can issue ultimatums and none of this will stop him...until he is ready to stop.
It is his resposibility, not yours, it is his problem, not yours.

Move on with your life, let go.

My mother has been drinking for 61 years, and still drinks today, and she will continue to drink...why? Because she does not want to recover.

Have you been to meetings? If not, I would strongly urge you to do so.

Grasshopper

Embrace Step One,2,and 3,for your beginnings to recovery.One Day At A Time.My prayers are with you and your Dad,
God Bless.

StandingStrong

I can choose to do whatever it is that I choose to do
Everyone else makes the choices to do as they do.

It is no one's fault what another person does.
Each person is responsible for themselves and their own decisions.

You cannot control what your father (or anyone else) does.
You can only control what YOU do.

lillamy

Sweetie, you can't blame yourself for his choices. You can't keep him sober; that's something he has to do for himself.

You're only responsible for your own decisions. Take care of yourself.

came2believe

It's not your fault! no no no no no!!!

Did you stand there over him, tie him to the chair and pour the drink down his throat? No? Then it was his choice to drink, my dear. Alcoholics will use any excuse to drink. It'll be because we are happy, because we are sad, because we got a promotion, because we got fired, because the Bears lost, because the Colts won, because you didn't show up, because you did. Whatever! None of those are the real reasons. We drink because we are alcoholics. And drinking alcohol is what active alcoholics do.

I am a recovering alcoholic. And I can tell you that no one ever caused me to drink, or not to drink. The same goes for your dad.

xx

WantsOut

The tough love patrol is here.

Don't wallow. You're wallowing and using it as an excuse to drink. You can't save your dad just like no one can save you. YOU have to save you.

The best thing you can do for him is to be an example. I hesitate to even say that to you because if you don't sober up his drinking is still not your fault. It's his.

But I think you know all this and are wallowing. Shape up!

written with love

tashna

unfortunately youre right......
and i am pissed off at myself that youre right....
aggggrrrrr......
tash