WantsOut

When I was talking to my former father-in-law last night, he told me something important that I thought I should pass on. I don't want to say what his exact profession is, but he is a very well-educated and well respected academic and he knows what he's talking about.

I made the comment that despite all these years of drinking exAH didn't seem to be physically addicted to alcohol because he didn't have shakes or anything like that. He said that those may be the sterotypical signs of addiction but that everyone's body chemistry is different. Some show their physical addiction through insomnia or depression (aware alcoholics often think it's just the depressant or toxicity factor in the alcohol but it's really a sign of chemical dependency) or other more profound brain reactions that are impossible for other people to know about ... for example seeing trails when looking away from a light or other vision or hearing distortions.

Maybe this was obvious to others, but it was new to me. They don't need to be reaching for the whiskey with sweaty, shakey hands at 7 AM to be physically addicted.

Pony

Yes, there are many types of signs other than the obvious outward ones of shaking. I live with an active A and you would never really know it if you didn't know him. He is functional and gets rent and bills paid, but he drinks nightly til drunk and has for over 20 yrs. He does have his slow down times, but for the most part he does not show physical signs. He might have some of the withdrawl symptoms when he has gone days without, but he is good at hiding them....I mean that they are not real obvious that he is going through it. But he does have those signs that you FIL mentioned. He never drinks in the morning....only afternoons or mostly begins in the late afternoon through evening and into the night when drinking even more heavily.

wild.rice

Ditto here, Pony. My AH is a highly functional cross-addict, and he can go for days without alcohol or coke and show no signs of withdrawal. He often suffers from severe insomnia ... I wonder if that's his body's way of showing withdrawal. Interesting!

cupowater

Very! Pony and Wild rice, you just discribed my ABF!!! (except he dosen't do coke.

serenityprayer

Yup ! My recovered AH newly Addict is/was the same way - well he was for the last 20 years until he went on his newest venture whatever it is ( I keep telling myself I don't want to know)

dollydo

My ex was a binger, coke and alcohol, he too didn't shake, he just was very moody and impossible to live with.

jimhere

The "Physical addiction stage" has no beginning. From the very start, alcoholism is characterized by an inability to control the amount taken once alcohol is ingested.

This is a physical phemenon and is the one, true defining aspect of alcoholism.
Jim

angelonmyshould

When my AH first got sober I didn't want to be around to see him go thru the "shakes". But, he didn't get those either. His sponsor said it was because he never stopped drinking - he drank every day until he passed out. His body was never sober and probably wasn't sober for a few weeks after he stopped.

IrshIzNotSmilin

Yep ditto here pony. Do they know each other my AH and your A. I am truly amazed at how AH handles everything. No physical symptoms if you just meet him and know him you would never know. I have been noticing two things though tremor in hand while holding a telephone and fork which I pointed out to him and he responded just tired. And memory loss. He will get lapses of memory not of whole evenings but of conversational details and will often not be able to follow some conversations. Otherwise amazing. He has been drinking for about 35 years. That is that. Irsh

cupowater

Yeah. Mine has the hand shakes and the memory loss too. He likes to take pictures, (Anature photographer) and a lot of times they come out blurry. Cameras' fault!

IrshIzNotSmilin

Man it is too bad they've come out with all those new cameras why bother. I think the old instamatic was better. ROFL....Irsh

Pick-a-name

I've noticed both of those lately (we haven't lived together for some time now). He often taps his middle finger and thumb together w/out acting aware of it.

The memory....hmm. Often I think he just isn't paying attention,conveniently forgets,etc. but probably really is memory loss more times that I realize. He did come up with one a day or two ago that floored me. Our son was talking about a class he is taking,etc. and I said something about when we were in school. He announced that he doesn't remember a class (the only class we were in together in college) nor the lab we had for it. It was a couple hours a day,five days a week for nine weeks.....and he got an A in it. He remembered it in the past,in fact kidded me about it because his final grade was a point or two better than mine,so I got a lower grade in the class. He has also been drinking daily for about 35yrs.

lilac

I have seen AH shake in the morning when he is trying to eat breakfast. (usually his hands.)

He has difficulty learning new tasks, and his memory is shot !