seekingpeace4me

I am on probation for a DUI and can't drive for a year. I haven't gotten my limited license yet so I don't drive at all, haven't sat in the driver's seat since the judge's gavel fell. Yesterday my sponsor asked me if I was driving myself to the store. This really bothers me as I feel she is saying I would break probation to go to TJ Maxx. After I went and did my 48 hours in jail, I haven't even considered driving, as I would go straight to the penal farm.

But it is more than that, it's that I would be lying to my very supportive family and the courts. I have taken the probation thing very seriously and I feel like a trust was broken when she accused me of this. Can I have some input on this?

jimhere

She is not accusing you of anything-she just asked a question. The usual self-centered reaction to a question like that is one bordering on paranoia, of "they are out to get me." Grow some thicker skin and get over it. Your sponsor is not there to make you feel better or to be your buddy. She is there to tell you the truth, to help you find the truth within yourself, and to help you recover from alcoholism.

CarolD

Hi seekingpeace4me...
Good job on being reponsible and nnot driving!

I suggest you share with your sponsor on this.
Do not let this be a secret resentment.

Take care..

leviathon

I think you have to accept that as an addict you have screwed up enough that others will check up on you from time to time... do not take offence, just acknowledge that they are asking b/c they care.

Peace, Levi

seekingpeace4me

Thanks for all the good responses. Somewhere down deep I knew I was over reacting but the driving thing is a sensitive point for me. Having driven for well over half my life, I am really feeling the loss. I am very grateful for having a safe place to life and for the transportation I do have.

Ok, off to grow some thicker skin. Thanks again.

jlo34

We alcoholics tend to be awfully sensitive. It's ok. Just know that you are being sensitive. Talk to your sponsor and be absolutely honest with him/her (including how you felt when she asked that). True honesty is gut level honesty...as someone above said...your sponsor is not there to be your best bud...your sponsor is there to help lead you through the steps to a better way of life...absolute honesty and "telling on yourself" is the best way to get through sensitive feelings. I have a really hard time standing up for my feelings, especially when I get my feelings hurt. I have found though, that I need to share with the person how I PERCEIVED WHAT THEY SAID. Usually it is just that MY PERCEPTION is the problem. Communication. Very difficult.

Great job...welcome to the boards by the way!
Blessings,
Jen

ohio73

Talk to your sponsor about it. Tell your sponsor how you felt at the question. I am sure your sponsor will be willing to talk and will understand what you are feeling. Learning how to tell people how we feel is very important - and your sponsor is the best practice you have right now.

Also - good for you for taking the probation seriously - I did when I was on probabtion and it helped me tremendously.

Ohio73

Slowbriety

everytime i would talk to my sponsor for the first few months he always asked me if i got drunk, i didnt, and finally he stopped asking. i think he asked me more out of that its what i had always done why should he think different, b/c im in AA now? Just b/c people are going to AA dosent mean they change just like that. you know you are not driving so whats the big deal? why not talk to your sponsor about it?