jespwrs

Hi,
I am an alcoholic who has worked the twelve steps with a sponsor and has been relieved of my compulsion to drink, provided I maintain my spiritual condition on a daily basis.
I worked the steps over a period of about six months. There are some who do this, and there are some who think the steps should be done in like one or two days. I was curious to hear your thoughts on the matter. I don't think one should dawdle, but I don't think I could have worked the steps and truly understood them in a very short period of time. What do you think? I have recently been talking to a guy who advocates working them very quickly, like in two days, and he has some decent reasoning behind his conviction. So I wonder, what do you think is best in general for the newcomer?

My sponsor taught me to always to survey as many people in the fellowship as possible when I have questions. I believe God speaks through others and only through reaching out can I achieve some level of clarity. thanks for reading and I'm excited to hear the responses...

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

I don't think the time line is as important
as understanding of how to incorporate them
in our daily lives.

Finishing the formal Steps are just the start.


Blessings

Inspiringmind

I have been working my steps for about 19 months. I still have not gone through all of them. (I am on step 8) Now I have heard that Bill W did all of his steps in like 2 or 3 days. Personally I think it would be much easier to go through all the steps in a faster fashion. My hubby on the other hand has been working the steps for about 21 months and still isn't done with step 4. There is an AA step study group where I live where you finish all the steps in a month. I have even consider going to it just to get my step work done.

Sugah

I was eight months sober when my sponsor felt I had incorporated all twelve steps into my daily life. I felt the same -- so if you would ask how long it took me to get through them, eight months would be my response.

Could I have made it through in two or three days like the founders did (I've heard it was more like two weeks for their "prospects")? I don't think I would have understood half of what was being explained to me. But the steady march forward is important. Practicing the principles helps them to sink in, to make a real difference.

In your first six months, you have built your foundation. Keep building on it. Don't forget the first three daily. I needed a routine until they were second nature. The others, if you're vigilant, will also become second nature, or so I'm told. I often have to be reminded that I have these tools, if only I would pick them up and use them. And that's one of the ways we help each other. We remind each other.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

GlassPrisoner

I've been told the first 3 should be done as soon as "the fog" lifts, and the alcoholic is through de-tox.

I don't think there is any hard and fast rule, but my opinion is a lot of people take too long. Years is too long.

I'm 60+ days in, and taking my 5th step Saturday.

mcdo1268

Jespwrs...each day we wait to get into the steps we are dying of the disease of alcoholism. I personally got into them with a sponsor , after 28 days of rehab, completed them in another 30 days and started sponsoring men at 90 days. I needed to deal quickly with my fears, anger and resentments or I would find an excuse. I also needed to get into 10 11 12 for the rest of my life in order to maintain.

jimhere

I take people through in about 6-8 weeks. The get one week to write the 4th Step.

SpringShowers

It's been a year! Thanks be to God and the 12 steps. Here's my short poem capturing it all.
-------------------------------

powerless
broken mess
eyes wept
first step

did believe
God's reprieve
step two
sane you

A decision
new vision
step three
set free

fearless tour
stepping four
casting worry
Inventory

permitted it
admitted it
step fived it
survived it

step six
God fix
all ready
hold steady

made request
rid defects
nothing kept
seventh step

wrote a list
no one missed
didn't wait
step eight

found friends
made amends
step nine
relief divine

stayed strong
admitted wrongs
step ten
again and 'gain

turned to heaven
step eleven
in God’s care
daily prayer

did accept
twelth step
made a pledge
carried message

persevered
one year
joined society
sweet sobriety

Aa_vark

well, hmmm...

step 12 tought me to practice theese principals.... so i have started over (several times). If i'm gona get this living thing working, i need practice... It gets easier, my perspective has changed, and i'll continue to make progress if i keep practicing the principals... when i finnishthis go around, i'll start over again...

zoomer

I took me a few months to write out all my step work,but it will take me a life time to truly understand the 12 steps. Every day the more I learn the less I know. When I first came into the program many years ago and went through a rehab and half way house, I thought I knew it all. I was a walking talking big book. I was sober for many years. I stopped going to meetings and relapsed for many years. I now have two and a half years and I'm humble with the fact that I really know nothing other than you can learn more by going to meetings than you can without. I don't open my mouth much any more because I still have learning to do. Each day I start with step one,then life teaches me what other steps I need to work on each given day. The 12th step is a gift to share with others at meetings, on line or where ever. You can do all the steps in a couple of days,but it will take a life time to learn them and use them.

Tazman53

Working the steps.......... or maybe I should say the lack of working them caused me to switch sponsors, the holidays has put the off until next week with my new sponsor.

I have 101 days and have yet to work step one fully with a sponsor yet. My new sponsor says he is not one to drag feet on working steps with a sponsee, I asked him to be my sponsor because more then one person told me that not only does he work the steps he lives them, and I must say it is quite appearant by how he is that he does.

I am doing my best right now to live the steps and mentally work them by myself.

Astro

[QUOTE=zoomer;1151991]I took me a few months to write out all my step work,but it will take me a life time to truly understand the 12 steps. Every day the more I learn the less I know. QUOTE]

Well said, zoomer! It took me just over a year to work through the Steps the first time, but I continue to work them every day. As far as understanding them, it truly is something I need to do for the rest of my life.

I guess there are "hard cases" in AA who benefit from being led through the Steps quickly, but on the other hand there are newcomers who are turned off by being told what to do and how fast they need to do it.

The only person responsible for keeping us sober is ourselves, so if you're comfortable in your sobriety I'd like to think we can take our time and work each Step with respect and as much understanding as possible.

chip

Welcome to the 12 step forum!

It's good to *see* new faces here.

Springshowers-
Congrads on 1 year!!! Thank you for sharing with us.

Mcdo- Welcome. It's inspiring to hear about somone who dives into recovery with such fervour. Your enthusiasm is contagious!!!

Inspiringmind- Welcome to the forum. I don't think I've *seen* you here yet, and it's great to hear from new people. Congrads on your sober time. Thanks for sharing with us. I think your point is extremely valid for this topic: everyone has their own pace for the step work.

jespwrs

Welcome to SR!

I've had many of the same questions about how long it should take to do the steps. The impression I get is that it's really an individual thing. For myself, I am 1 year clean and sober (as of Jan 3). I've started on my 4th, but I'm not quite done it yet.

My sponsor told me earlier that I should focus on staying sober and get used to being sober before I dive too deep into the step work. I've also heard about lot's of people who struggle with step 4. The other thing I heard is that once you complete step 3 on a daily basis, you are safe from relapse. The will of a HP is that one will not take a drink.

This is all just my opinion on the topic.

Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad you found us.
chip

Edmundo30

The question is not about how much time you either rush through or take your time through the work..I dont recommend doing the silly "one step a year method" unless you have a death wish...

The race is not against the bottle, but against the alcoholic mind...
The Big Book tells us on "More Aboue Alcoholism":

"Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not."


To what extent do you need AA? Do you hunger for a spiritual experience NOW? or 3 months from now???

How long do you wanna take or how sick do you wanna get? The question should be between you or the person who is guiding you through the work...When I work with someone I tell them what the work will entail and we dont read workbooks nor do I give them silly handouts..We read straight from the Big Book and we cover everything in between title page to pg 164..Sometimes that may take 1 month up to 3 months..Depending on them..I have been told that I am too rigid with my sponsees that I give them "too much accountability"..Or sometimes that drink or are getting high into reading..I usually top and ask them flat out if they wanna continue, and if they make excuses why they are not sure or if they don't want to..I usually tell them "Goodbye, call me back when you WANT to do this work..."

It's fun to get someone who wants to and loves to do the steps and is really into it with you and you have a great time going through it...That's usually sadly rare nowadays..Alot of people who come into AA straight out of rehab want me to hear their silly ass 4th step they wrote in treatment from workbooks and handouts that professional therapists gave them..I usually ask them if they want to start from the beginning of the Big Book. If they do not want to, I let them be an go to someone else who WANTS to work with me..

If you are baking a cake an are putting the flour, eggs, and milk together, are you going to wait an hour between each time you put everything together? How bad do you want the cake??? In working the steps, we are trying to obtain a spiritual experience and develop a relationship with God..If people who approach me just want somone they can talk to in the middle of the night when they are in a rut, I usually refer them to a good therapist OR tell them not to call me at all unless they wish to work the steps, mainly because I am so sick of seeing alcoholics die...

It's a painful thing to watch

jimhere

You can stay sick in AA for as long as you want and you'll have plenty of company. You can get well in AA and you'll have plenty of company. You just gotta pick who you want to hang with.

It's a good thing Bill Wilson didn't do a step a year, or wait a year until he felt better to do his 4th Step, or wait until he had some self-esteem to work with others. 'Ol Dr. Bob would have been screwed.
Jim

Edmundo30

Jim I could not agree with you more...

I wholeheartedly agree with you 100%...People who take a LONG time to work the steps are either being lied to or are basically lying to themselves...
Having a genuine first step experience will either catapult you into doing the other 11, or it will repel you back to the bottle where your mind will use it to torture you long enough to want to come back and face the truth once again...

1Marty

Jespwrs, I believe there is no set time table for this. I am not a Big Book "expert", but I mostly recall it mentioning that we have to be thorough and honest, make sure our work is solid, and not to skimp. But it also says that we cant "rest on our lauurels". We all get it when we get it. I'm a very slow learner. I think it is most important that one is doing and living the steps on a daily basis, and striving for progress.

Jbh5058

I'm at 2 months and about to start step four. I get impatient sometimes, but I'm on the right path for me. Going to meetings really helps me understand what these steps are about. I like having a few weeks to listen to other aas experiences with the steps I have done. Also, I get to hear about the steps I haven't done, and get an idea of how the program works. I'm actually quite excited about starting the action steps and being able to share new experiences with other alcoholics. AA has been amazing!

jimhere

Edmundo,
I'm quite certain that if would have waited until felt better, I would have been feeling better on a barstool.
Jim

fraankie

well,
you can do them really fast
or really slow

either way,
my theory is
once you finish
you start again


best
fraankie