CatsPajamas

In places where people depend upon camels for transportation, they have a saying, “Trust in God and tie your camel to a tree.” I think of this saying as a colorful way of describing what we in Al-Anon call “doing the footwork.”

First we trust in our Higher Power. Trusting is a way of affirming that we are willing to be receptive to whatever the Higher Power chooses for us. We do not resign ourselves to our fate; we meet the day with confident expectation. We expect a miracle, as they say.

But we cannot expect our Higher Power to do for us what we can clearly do for ourselves. We must do our part. The Twelve Steps help us to distinguish between our responsibilities and those we can turn over to God.

Today’s Reminder

Today I give thanks for the guidance of my Higher Power and for the measure of common sense needed to apply this guidance to the details of my daily life.

“No one else can define our role in the unique partnership we develop with our Higher Power.”

…In All Our Affairs

CatsPajamas

This concept has always been a hard one for me.... the difference between powerlessness and helplessness. At first, I had to call other people in the program to ask them when I needed to do something vs when I needed to wait or to let it go... over time I've learned a bit more.

MANY times the answer has been for me to take my focus off of the future and "do the next thing on my desk".

Hugs

Cat

deax

Wow, it's so funny, I'm finding hints and clues about everything I've been struggling with lately on the board today.

This is something I struggle with too, getting advice from others. I know it's a good thing. I'm not even a big one to call Al Anon people, but there's one woman there who really tries to be friends with me, and another whom I would ask to be my sponsor should I ever get ready to commit to doing that and working the steps. I called both of them last Friday night when I was facing a rough situation/weekend, and they were both great- but I realized they both also didn't tell me anything I didn't already know on some level. I'm realizing that a big part of my problem is I don't trust myself. And I should. So I'm working on that. For a variety of reasons, I've learned to really second-guess myself and not feel entitled to my own feelings.

I ask my therapist alot, "So what should I do?" And her answer is always, "What do you want to do? You can do whatever you want." That used to tick me off, but one day I realized-- holy s**t, I can do whatever I want! I never gave myself that freedom.

I'm having a problem with my friend Jen these days. Thinking seriously about whether I want to keep her in my life at all, or just put a little distance between us. I mention that only because I always thought of myself as, and I know others in general see me as pretty assertive. But in discussing the Jen situation in therapy my therapist said, "You need to find your voice." I thought, uh I have a voice-- it's what always gets me in trouble. But I see that have a voice only with certain people and certain kinds of situations-- not all the time and unfortnately not always when I most need it. I'm the master of thinking of things I should have said. So I made the connection that my occasional lack of voice is connected to my constant lack of trust in myself and my ability to make good decisions and take care of me.

Tangent, sorry. Anyway thanks for this.

AllTooSober

Wow, that sounds like my biggest problem 100%. It's probably why I haven't put an offer on that house I want. Thanks for bringing this up, tangent or not--it helps!