Becks

Hi, I'm 32 years old, have been addicted to crack for about 2 years now, and have just recently found out that I'm pregnant by my abusive ex-boyfriend. I'm not sure how far along I am, but I'm pretty sure I must be about 2 months, maybe more. I've never wanted to have children and have seriously considered having an abortion. The thing is, I'm sooooo scared that it's too late, and if I have no choice but to have this baby, what have I done, and what am I doing to it?? I've smoked crack pretty much everyday of this pregnancy and if it's too late I'm not sure I can quit too easily. I know I have to quit anyways, but I'm not sure I can. I know I can't keep living like this, but I don't know what to do with myself. I missed my doctor's appointment that I'd had for two weeks last week because I couldn't get out of bed!! I'm so disappointed in myself......I haven't even made a new one and I really don't want to have this baby.......I've just become so ridiculously irresponsible!! I'm also pretty much alone in this right now and I'm soooo stressed out !! What do I do????

Midas

Those are some tough decisions, Becks! But we're glad you're here!! Other members should be stopping by pretty soon.

TamTam

Hi, Becks- Welcome to SR. Midas is right- those are some tough decisions. Regardless of what you are going to do, you need to get help first thing. Get yourself to a doctor asap. Let them help you take the steps you need to stop using.
Take care!

GlassPrisoner

Yup. Medical advice first. Then get yourself to some sort of program. Sorry to hear this, you've got a rough road agead of you.

miss communicat

Hi Becks,

Welcome! You are in the right place tonight, but tomorrow, please make and then KEEP your doctor's appointment. The answer about quitting the drugs is YES, you CAN do it.

When I found out I was pregnant 26 years ago, I was addicted to cocaine and smoked and drank heavily daily.

My situation was different than yours is now, in that my boyfriend at the time, was not abusive and we stayed together, and I wanted to have a child more than anything else.

The fact that the relationship with my daughter's father did not last more than 6 more months, and that I did, in fact end up single and on my own with a baby, in no way ever made me regret that decision. FOR ME.

Only you can come to the right decision for yourself and the life of the baby you are carrying right now as far as whether or not to keep it. But, you must must must stop the crack.

Allow the doctors and nurses to help you find the proper detox program and follow it. As you begin to recover, your mind will also recover and you will find your way.

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone and scared right now, and I want you to know that you don't have to do this alone. There are people who can help you.

Keep asking and you will receive!!!

crazymarble

It's not too late to have an abortion. But, talk with your doctor and do some soul searching. I was using coke before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. She'll be two in March. Then I really started using, got pregnant again, kept using, had a miscarriage. I was pretty messed up in the head, just three months sober right now.

See the doctor. Think about your life, what you want, and if you feel you can stop using so that this child has a fighting chance of being healthy. There's always adoption too, that's a great option. For now you have to stay off the crack, easier said than done.. What about an in-patient program? I'm saying all this assuming you don't abort.

odatrose

Wow What A Wake Up Call. Sometimes While Your Under The Cloack Of Addiction Things Happen And You Wonder, Why Me Why Now. This Would Be A Time. The Only Reason You Even Can Purse Your Lips Together And Say Something Like That Is That Your Not Ready To Quit Your Love For Drugs. How Dare Something Come Between The Freedom Of Using. That's Where Your Wrong HONEY, You Have No Freedom To Chose, It's So Far Gone You Can't Even Stop Long Enough To See Your Doctor To Find Out What Your Options Are, Unmanageable Is What Some Might Say. I'm Sorry It Sounds Harsh, But How Else Can You Say The Truth About This Affliction, It Is Harsh. I Refuse To Sugar Coat Things Like Others May But This Addiction Kills, Mames, And Helps To Kill You. Please Get Help Soon This Thing Your Dealing With Is Bigger Than You, You Obviously See Your Situation Has Changed And Your Not Just Hurting Yourself Anymore Your Messing With Your Most Devine Wake Up Call. There Are Places That Will Take You As Soon As You Reach Out For Help. You Made Your Move Here, Now Make Your Move With The Ones That Can Get You The Help You Need.

Been There Done That, My First Born Has A Learning Disability Maybe From My Using, That I Don't Know But The Guilt Of All That Took Years To Let Go Of.

P.s. If It's Too Late, Don't Worry They Take Kids Away From Ppl That Use So Your Choices In Parenting Will Be Made For You.

Sent To You In Love And With Sincere Hopes And Prayers That God Nudges You In The Right Direction.

crazymarble

Odatrose, that was well put.

SarahOfTheShot

I was using quite heavily when I got pregnant with my now 14 year old son. I had exactly the same fears and reluctance you are having. I had planned to give him up for adoption and did not, becuase for me, I just could not. I've never regretted it, but I had some pretty serious concerns about his health the whole time I was pregnant because of my drug abuse when I was pregnant with him.

You are not alone and many have survived this situation, I know that for sure.

However, it's not too late for you if you opt out of the pregnancy. I think you have until the end of your 3rd tirmester. But I'm not certain on that. Either way, your going to have to get to a doctor asap.

Best wishes, take care.

odatrose

I wondered about you today Beck, so what did you do about your problem with drugs and your issues with your pregnancy? I hope you write back on your thread.

Sending you loving hopes,

ODATROSE

Becks

Hello everyone. I really want to thank everyone who took the time to reply to my post. Finally yesterday I made another appointment. Its for an ultrasound, which I need to have in order to make an appointment for an abortion. I found out that the doctor will perform an abortion as long as I'm less than 22 weeks pregnant - which, I'm quite certain that I'm not even close to that yet. I'm feeling a little better about the whole thing...........please, I hope no one is judging my decision to abort.........I just really feel that I'm in no shape to bring a child into this world, I'm all alone, and who knows what damage I've done to this innocent life because of my drug use?? I do have to wait a couple of weeks to get the ball rolling, but thanks to all of your advice and encouragment, I finally made the first step to dealing with this unfortunate situation.

Thanks again everyone!!!

Anna

Odatrose,

Sarah did not give medical advice but said 'I think' and 'I'm not certain' and 'You're going to have to get to a doctor'.

And, your opinion about abortion is your opinion, but being supportive would be far more helpful in this situation.


Becks,

Absolutely no one is judging you. We have all had to make tough choices at some time or other and I'm glad you are doing what you believe is right for you at this time.

Becks

Thanks for your support Anna !

miss communicat

Dear Becks

Good luck! Please take care of your body and your life! You matter.

getting stronge

Please be sure that you know what you are doing. It is a very cold procedure and when you do get clean, you may regret it the rest of your life. Or it could be the reason you keep doing drugs, (guilt). Talk to your doctor please.....