Blackouts
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Corning, CA
Posts: 6
Blackouts
Hi Everyone,
Believe I messed up.
Yesterday told my AH we needed to have a discussion.
Told him I was noticing he was having Blackouts. He staggered into the wall and hit his arm. He said some things to me that he doesn't remember saying.
Told him I wasn't asking him to stop drinking, but felt he needed to be aware of what he is doing. Told me he enjoyed drinking and didn't plan to stop.
Told me he noticed I was always checking up on him. I told him yes, it is because I am afraid he will fall down the back of the hill, or fall in the garage and hurt himself. Asked me if I would prefer he do his drinking some place else. Told him no, it would be better if he stayed home and drank.
Yesterday he left the house and went to check out a Dove Hunting spot he likes. He got his car stuck and was gone for four hours. Noticed when he got home he was drunk. Told me he was in a bad mood. He came in the house upset and started banging into the walls intentionally to irritate me and saying you don't think I remember doing this.
In the afternoon he said he was going to take a shower and asked me if I was going to wash more clothes, he would put his jogging suit in.
Yesterday I washed the sheets on bed, and we always take a shower the day the sheets are washed. I always wipe the walls of the shower with a towel after showering.
Last night, he had sobered up and he got into bed and said we had forgotten to take a shower. I asked him if he was messing with me and he said no, he really couldn't remember. He got out of bed and checked the towel I use to wipe the Shower Walls with. Wanted to know why it was dry. Told him he had asked me to wash his Jogging Suit and I washed it in with the clothes.
He said, "I guess it is an Alcohol Blackout". I never said a word in response to him.
These blackouts he is having are scaring me and Iam exhausted not knowing what is next. They seem to be getting worse and I don't know how to handle it. Now it looks like the pattern is changing and he is going to be going elsewhere to drink. I Pray he doesn't drink and drive.
Believe I messed up.
Yesterday told my AH we needed to have a discussion.
Told him I was noticing he was having Blackouts. He staggered into the wall and hit his arm. He said some things to me that he doesn't remember saying.
Told him I wasn't asking him to stop drinking, but felt he needed to be aware of what he is doing. Told me he enjoyed drinking and didn't plan to stop.
Told me he noticed I was always checking up on him. I told him yes, it is because I am afraid he will fall down the back of the hill, or fall in the garage and hurt himself. Asked me if I would prefer he do his drinking some place else. Told him no, it would be better if he stayed home and drank.
Yesterday he left the house and went to check out a Dove Hunting spot he likes. He got his car stuck and was gone for four hours. Noticed when he got home he was drunk. Told me he was in a bad mood. He came in the house upset and started banging into the walls intentionally to irritate me and saying you don't think I remember doing this.
In the afternoon he said he was going to take a shower and asked me if I was going to wash more clothes, he would put his jogging suit in.
Yesterday I washed the sheets on bed, and we always take a shower the day the sheets are washed. I always wipe the walls of the shower with a towel after showering.
Last night, he had sobered up and he got into bed and said we had forgotten to take a shower. I asked him if he was messing with me and he said no, he really couldn't remember. He got out of bed and checked the towel I use to wipe the Shower Walls with. Wanted to know why it was dry. Told him he had asked me to wash his Jogging Suit and I washed it in with the clothes.
He said, "I guess it is an Alcohol Blackout". I never said a word in response to him.
These blackouts he is having are scaring me and Iam exhausted not knowing what is next. They seem to be getting worse and I don't know how to handle it. Now it looks like the pattern is changing and he is going to be going elsewhere to drink. I Pray he doesn't drink and drive.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Im sorry you are having to deal with this and I pray he does not drink and drive too!
Maybe if you could get to some Al-anon meeting and start learning about this disease it could help you see what is to come. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it does get worse.
Also remember you did not Cause it, you Can not Cure it and you Can not Control it.... Let him do what he will and dont bother checking up on him.... he will have to hit his bottom before he would be ready to help himself.
I have the tendacy to fix everything and take care of .... I had no Idea how much damage I was doing by "taking care" of my alcoholic.... Its not natural for me to think in terms like that.
*hugs* take care of yourself and get some support. Its not an easy ride to be on.
Maybe if you could get to some Al-anon meeting and start learning about this disease it could help you see what is to come. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it does get worse.
Also remember you did not Cause it, you Can not Cure it and you Can not Control it.... Let him do what he will and dont bother checking up on him.... he will have to hit his bottom before he would be ready to help himself.
I have the tendacy to fix everything and take care of .... I had no Idea how much damage I was doing by "taking care" of my alcoholic.... Its not natural for me to think in terms like that.
*hugs* take care of yourself and get some support. Its not an easy ride to be on.
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
- I dont think you messed up. I remember though years before things got really bad at home that we had gone out a few times and my wife had blackouts.
Talking about what had happened scared her,so everybody handles it differently of course.
It is good that you see what is happening now, there can be only more to come.
Talking about what had happened scared her,so everybody handles it differently of course.
It is good that you see what is happening now, there can be only more to come.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 70
DeltaMist,
I am so glad you found this board. I also want to encourage you to get to some Al-Anon meetings. It is extremely encouraging to talk to some folks face to face who have gone through similiar experiences, and to realize you are not alone in what you are going through.
I'm in a similiar situation with my husband, where his stumbling, falling, can't remember conversations he had with me, is increasing, and it is scary and exhausting.
I went through this this last summer, and I had no idea what to do. At that time, my husband would not acknowledge there was any problem. But things did progress to where he ended up in the hospital.
Today, things are progressing again to where he is falling, etc, etc. I'm trying to get through this weekend, and then on Monday, first thing I will be calling his doctor. My AH will probably have to be re-admitted into the hospital. Right now I believe the problem stems from him over-medicating himself on his prescription meds and over the counter stuff.
Know that you are not alone. I want to encourage you to get to Al-Anon, and if possible to seek counsel with a counselor, social worker, clergyperson, or doctor, especially those who are familiar with the disease of alcoholism. They may be able to assist with providing direction as to what steps you need to take next in your particular situation.
Blessings and peace, and a big hug!
I am so glad you found this board. I also want to encourage you to get to some Al-Anon meetings. It is extremely encouraging to talk to some folks face to face who have gone through similiar experiences, and to realize you are not alone in what you are going through.
I'm in a similiar situation with my husband, where his stumbling, falling, can't remember conversations he had with me, is increasing, and it is scary and exhausting.
I went through this this last summer, and I had no idea what to do. At that time, my husband would not acknowledge there was any problem. But things did progress to where he ended up in the hospital.
Today, things are progressing again to where he is falling, etc, etc. I'm trying to get through this weekend, and then on Monday, first thing I will be calling his doctor. My AH will probably have to be re-admitted into the hospital. Right now I believe the problem stems from him over-medicating himself on his prescription meds and over the counter stuff.
Know that you are not alone. I want to encourage you to get to Al-Anon, and if possible to seek counsel with a counselor, social worker, clergyperson, or doctor, especially those who are familiar with the disease of alcoholism. They may be able to assist with providing direction as to what steps you need to take next in your particular situation.
Blessings and peace, and a big hug!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
These blackouts he is having are scaring me and Iam exhausted not knowing what is next.
Told him I wasn't asking him to stop drinking, but felt he needed to be aware of what he is doing.
Once my own health and safety were in danger, I set some very clear boundaries with my AS. Anything can happen while he is in this state.
What the others have shared is true and I recommend you speak with a professional and have a plan to keep yourself safe should he have more blackouts and become violent or destructive in your home. Only you can decide what is too much to tolerate. You don't have to face this alone, we are here to provide you support and information. You deserve better than this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Corning, CA
Posts: 6
My AH hasn't had a drink since the Blackout incident.
For some reason, I feel down today. Don't have any desire to communicate with him since the incident My feelings are of numbness. It is as if he has taken
any feelings that were left away. It is as if I am in a state of mourning.
Still answer him if he speaks to me in a pleasant tone. Don't want him to touch me. Is this Detachment?
Thank you everyone for all the help and support you have given me.
Ann
For some reason, I feel down today. Don't have any desire to communicate with him since the incident My feelings are of numbness. It is as if he has taken
any feelings that were left away. It is as if I am in a state of mourning.
Still answer him if he speaks to me in a pleasant tone. Don't want him to touch me. Is this Detachment?
Thank you everyone for all the help and support you have given me.
Ann
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by deltamist58
Is this Detachment?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
((((((Ann)))))) I too had to worry about my xah drinking and driving - every night for 22 years he drove with our property deed basically on the hood of his truck...at least in reality that's what it was..if at any time he would have hit someone it would have been game over. Our heirs would have been paying the victims. Honey I understand completely as do everyone else here. But you know what? You can't do a thing to stop it. It stops when things change and keep in mind that nothing changes if nothing changes. You just keep going left foot right foot and try not to worry too much about his problem. He isa grown man and is accountable for what he does. I do agree with the good people here about you going to Al-Anon meetings they are exactly what you need. In those meetings you will be able to vent and share with others in your same spot.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
my daughter had a black out car accident - took out a storefront, light post, mailbox, almost went over a parking garage inbankment - over 10 foot drop. She barely missed a pedestrian and a bicyclist. My suggestion is to do everything you can to keep an alcoholic from driving. Yes, my daughter is accountable and responsible. But I would not have slept if she had killed herself or someone else..
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