chip

I used to think that drinking was my big problem. I thought if I could get my drinking under control, I would be fine. I thought it was the ONLY thing wrong with me.

When I quit drinking, I had a fantasy of my life suddenly becoming perfect. I thought that my life was pretty close to perfect, if I took drinking out of the picture.

Years ago, I tried to restore a classic car. I didn't have the resources to do a full restoration, but I was able to do enough to turn it into a sweet looking ride. 3 years later, I realized that my restoration attempt was a waste of money because I didn't deal with the frame. The car needed a full, or "frame off" restoration. Otherwise, it just looked good on the surface, but "issues" underneath would lead to other problems. The "issues" I didn't rectify, with regards to the frame, made my other attempts a complete waste. I ended up selling the car for cheap.

The point of this story was that although the car looked nice, it had a cracked frame. Today, I realize my life needs an entire overhaul. I can't build upon a foundation which isn't solid.

Although I am sober, unless I change my life, I will drink again. I've heard it over and over..."unless something changes, the same person will drink again".

I don't know or understand exactly WHY AA works, but I know that there are people who become better people as a result of doing the steps and working the program. I'm going to try and work the program to the best of my ability. I'm going to do the steps in order, and put my heart into it. I am going to turn to my higher power to keep me safe, sane and sober.

Is it enough to abstain? No.

I don't want a "white knuckle" or "dry drunk" sobriety. I need to change my entire life if I want to get better. I realize I didn't get this sick overnight. I'm not going to get better overnight either.

chip needs to change. chip needs to work on his life, and work his program. chip needs to identify his defects of character, and turn them over to his HP.

I'm not going to be healed by just abstaining. I'm going to be healed through the grace of my HP. I'm going to be healed if I follow the footsteps of many alcoholics before me.

I wish everyone hope, health and happiness on their journey of recovery.
peace,
chip

collinsmi

Well put, true for me too (except for the car part).

c'est la vie

Great analogy. Thanks for sharing this. Now I better get to a meeting today and start working on the frame again.

miss communicat

this rerminds me of what I heard the other night at a meeting: "When you only take the alcohol out of an alcoholic, what's left is ic".

we need to keep recovering...thanks chip, for sharing your process with us.

Mongo

Hi Chip

I fully agree that it's not enough to fully abstain from alcohol to overcome an addiction. It is so very important to complement this with a program or therapy to help us make better choices resulting in lifestyle changes.

I think that's what recovery is, a series of choices with the goal of an improved lifestyle. Maybe a lifelong comittment, maybe not.

One thing I do know is that as my period of abstinence gets longer, my ability to make better choices has markedly improved. This is an inevitable process it seems as my brain and body heal. I feel and think differently now than I did six months ago, and there's no reason not to believe that the longer I abstain, the more I gain.

Thank you for this thread and keep well

Ron

Kellye C

Chip,

What an awesome post and the car was a great analogy. Thank you so much for sharing that!

Kellye

Abbadun

Hi Mongo

I liked the way that you conveyed your message using the concept of "a series of steps", which is what I did to become sober in the form of attending meetings and reading and listening all kinds of informative, educational and inspiring material.

AB

BigSis

I've had that for over 20 years... it took my kids addictions to get ME into 12-step... what a relief!

Addiction/alcoholism is huge.... far bigger than just the substance or booze. Thanks for this post, Chip.

TheGirlInside

"When you only take the alcohol out of an alcoholic, what's left is ic".(lol!! I hadn't heard that one...it's great!)

Chip,

Congrats for your "aha" moment! It takes some of us a long time to have one of those.

Here's what I've learned: What caused me to become alcoholic/addictive personality was a Spiritual Disease...the alcoholism is merely a symptom.

Also...it is a series of steps, but unlike a staircase, the steps don't always go up. Sometimes, we have to stumble a little and feel like we are "going backwards," in order to truly heal and move on. But, IMO, there is no such thing as going backwards when your heart is in the program.

BTW, I love your AVATAR!

I just wrote on the bottom of one post (sorry...I'm sure this is not 100% verbatim), "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

And, I know this is paraphrasing from Yoda's quote:
"Let go of that which you most fear losing."

Thanks