AA w/o doing the steps
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: BUFFALO, NY
Posts: 32
Hey Gypsy,
First of all, what do you have against the steps? I have been working the steps for nine years, one month and twenty-five days (not that I'm counting). It really helps. But AA also offers an incredibly supportive environment. And most important, while you are sitting at a meeting, you won't be drinking. So I'd say go to meetings even if you are reluctant to tackle the steps, and who knows maybe you'll change your mind.
Peggy:ok:
First of all, what do you have against the steps? I have been working the steps for nine years, one month and twenty-five days (not that I'm counting). It really helps. But AA also offers an incredibly supportive environment. And most important, while you are sitting at a meeting, you won't be drinking. So I'd say go to meetings even if you are reluctant to tackle the steps, and who knows maybe you'll change your mind.
Peggy:ok:
not a greeter
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,928
Originally Posted by psd4237
Hey Gypsy,
First of all, what do you have against the steps? I have been working the steps for nine years, one month and twenty-five days (not that I'm counting). It really helps. But AA also offers an incredibly supportive environment. And most important, while you are sitting at a meeting, you won't be drinking. So I'd say go to meetings even if you are reluctant to tackle the steps, and who knows maybe you'll change your mind.
Peggy:ok:
First of all, what do you have against the steps? I have been working the steps for nine years, one month and twenty-five days (not that I'm counting). It really helps. But AA also offers an incredibly supportive environment. And most important, while you are sitting at a meeting, you won't be drinking. So I'd say go to meetings even if you are reluctant to tackle the steps, and who knows maybe you'll change your mind.
Peggy:ok:
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to this forum Gypsy,
I suggest you simply keep going to AA keetings
and see how you feel after a few months.
The only requirement for AA is a desire
to stop drinking.
Blessings
I suggest you simply keep going to AA keetings
and see how you feel after a few months.
The only requirement for AA is a desire
to stop drinking.
Blessings
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: BUFFALO, NY
Posts: 32
Gypsy,
I, of course, can't speak for others. But for me, the steps are a way to focus, especially initially. By the time I stopped drinking, alcohol was so much a part of my life (drinking it, thinking about it, and so on) that focusing on the steps gave my mind something else to do, a sort of structure. My higher power (and I know this is a bit odd) is Mother Nature because I'm not big on religion, and it really helped stabilize me.
But whether you decide to work the steps or not, definitely keep going to the meetings!
Peggy
I, of course, can't speak for others. But for me, the steps are a way to focus, especially initially. By the time I stopped drinking, alcohol was so much a part of my life (drinking it, thinking about it, and so on) that focusing on the steps gave my mind something else to do, a sort of structure. My higher power (and I know this is a bit odd) is Mother Nature because I'm not big on religion, and it really helped stabilize me.
But whether you decide to work the steps or not, definitely keep going to the meetings!
Peggy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
I think stepwork keeps me honest. Maybe that's the connection that prevents me from wanting that first drink (if I want a drink long enough I'll take it). To drink like I did, I had to have a warped and flexible view of reality. THe steps changed that. Long ago i went to meetings without step work, after a few months the fear of drinking was gone and I quit going to meetings. Of course, soon after I drank again.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,192
Keep going to meetings GT, and when you hear "How It Works" read, listen when it says "rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. I'm not saying it won't work if you don't do the Steps, but my experience was that it didn't. I went to meetings for 5 months looking for that easier, softer way, but never did find it. It was only after being brought to my knees by misery, loneliness, and insanity that I found a sponsor and started working the Steps. 21 months into my sobriety I know that it saved my life, and gave me a new life that's better than anything I've ever known. The Just have an open mind, OK? The Steps may look intimidating, but the peace and comfort you'll come to know as you work them is well worth the effort.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
What do you have to lose by doing the steps?????
That's what I asked myself almost 5 years ago when I quit drinking. I found that I had nothing to lose and had no idea of what I would gain from doing them.
Don't think too much about whether or not or should I or shouldn't I... There are lots of people here who are doing well without doing the steps, but there are also a ton whose lives have really flourished, including mine.
That's what I asked myself almost 5 years ago when I quit drinking. I found that I had nothing to lose and had no idea of what I would gain from doing them.
Don't think too much about whether or not or should I or shouldn't I... There are lots of people here who are doing well without doing the steps, but there are also a ton whose lives have really flourished, including mine.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Toronto
Posts: 98
Hi Gypsy, after two meeting perhaps you are overwhelmed by the steps? If that is the cause take a big breath 
you don't have to do them all at once. You have lots of time to go through them
If however you find the steps objectionable, and counter to your belief system, then perhaps AA isn't the right vessel to help you stop drinking
Good luck!
you don't have to do them all at once. You have lots of time to go through them If however you find the steps objectionable, and counter to your belief system, then perhaps AA isn't the right vessel to help you stop drinking
Good luck!
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Originally Posted by gypsy tears
I have nothing against the steps. I'm just very, very new to the AA way of life. I went to my first 2 meetings ever last week. I could definitely feel the support at both meetings and did feel good being there after the initial fear of walking through the door subsided (somewhat subsided LOL). I'm just wondering how the steps really help I guess.
Kinda like wanting to take the elevator to get to the top faster, instead of taking the steps, which are slower.
Well....just ask yourself if the way you are managing your life today is going well. If its not, and you want to be happy, jouous and free, you must be willing to do things another way, then consider letting go of YOUR idea of how to get to the top, and listen to OTHERS idea of how they got there.
Remember, if your way of living was making you happy, you wouldnt be going to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Good luck.
not a greeter
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,928
Originally Posted by Taiman
Hi Gypsy, after two meeting perhaps you are overwhelmed by the steps? If that is the cause take a big breath you don't have to do them all at once. You have lots of time to go through them
If however you find the steps objectionable, and counter to your belief system, then perhaps AA isn't the right vessel to help you stop drinking
Good luck!
you don't have to do them all at once. You have lots of time to go through them If however you find the steps objectionable, and counter to your belief system, then perhaps AA isn't the right vessel to help you stop drinking
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 187
The Third Tradition that CarolD mentioned ... "The only requirement ... " is the only thing that kept me coming back to the rooms of AA for a very long time. I, too, resisted doing the steps. Yes, I did stay sober but until I surrendered and worked the program using the steps, my life really did not change. Like CarolD said, keep coming back and see how you feel after more meetings.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I have heard my sponsor say, when I get too far ahead of myself trying to project or anticipate the unknown future, "Just put one foot in front of the other."
I think it's great that you've got a desire to stop, that you're going to meetings, and I will say that I totally understand your questions. Totally. In my very early sobriety, I'm sure folks got tired of me saying, "I'm scared to death of that fourth step." Know what? I didn't have to do the fourth step until I got to the fourth step. And all my worrying was for naught.
If you're going to meetings, listening with as much open mindedness you can muster, and not picking up a drink, you'll know when it's time to get a sponsor and start doing step work. Some come to that right away, get a sponsor in the first week or two, and others take a little longer. One word of caution: if you feel like you're going to pick up a drink and that's not what you want to do, it's probably time to grab onto another member of the same sex and ask for some help. Get phone #'s and use them.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
I think it's great that you've got a desire to stop, that you're going to meetings, and I will say that I totally understand your questions. Totally. In my very early sobriety, I'm sure folks got tired of me saying, "I'm scared to death of that fourth step." Know what? I didn't have to do the fourth step until I got to the fourth step. And all my worrying was for naught.
If you're going to meetings, listening with as much open mindedness you can muster, and not picking up a drink, you'll know when it's time to get a sponsor and start doing step work. Some come to that right away, get a sponsor in the first week or two, and others take a little longer. One word of caution: if you feel like you're going to pick up a drink and that's not what you want to do, it's probably time to grab onto another member of the same sex and ask for some help. Get phone #'s and use them.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 773
steps
AA meetings are great support. I enjoy many (not everyone) of the people that attend. I wouldn't worry about the steps right now. Don't let anyone bully you into "working" them if you don't want to.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
I think I wouldn't worry too much about getting started on the steps if you've only been to 2 meetings. If you keep going, listening, talking and NOT drinking then you'll eventually decide that either AA isn't for you or you'll WANT to get started on the steps to move to the next level of feeling good.
It took me about 4 months to truly come to terms with step 1 but I "worked" on it the whole time.
It took me about 4 months to truly come to terms with step 1 but I "worked" on it the whole time.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
I used the support and stopped the intake of alcohol a long time ago.
My life changed...well no it didn't. It remained the same just didn't get any worse then what the continued drinking would have caused.
Once I started using the steps is when I started to see things around me improve. I tried things my way for long enough....time to listen to what others have found worked for them and give it a try. Yup...they were right. Good stuff those steps are.
A word picture that comes to mind...
You bake a double layer cake... you have two layers but no frosting. It is still a cake but seems plan. Now add the steps...a nice looking plate, frosting, decorative candies.
The steps take plan old not drinking and can change our life into something that is beautiful. It is the frosting on the cake.
My life changed...well no it didn't. It remained the same just didn't get any worse then what the continued drinking would have caused.
Once I started using the steps is when I started to see things around me improve. I tried things my way for long enough....time to listen to what others have found worked for them and give it a try. Yup...they were right. Good stuff those steps are.
A word picture that comes to mind...
You bake a double layer cake... you have two layers but no frosting. It is still a cake but seems plan. Now add the steps...a nice looking plate, frosting, decorative candies.
The steps take plan old not drinking and can change our life into something that is beautiful. It is the frosting on the cake.
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