BLONDEBombers

Hey guys!
I have been coming on here and posting and I have actually posted a message similar to this one on "Hop on the Newbie bus" But i wanted to start a new one. Alright so, I am a heroin/opiate/upper addict (I know we shouldnt classify this, but I have really yet to admit my adiction on here) and have been using since I was about 12-13, and it all started with drinking and smoking. As of this moment I am working on Three weeks which is the longest I have made it in my Four attempts to recover.... so *****! I feel really good, but as I have posted before I miss my friends. Now those friends are the friends i used to use with and after telling them about getting clean they have talked with me since and the conversations always end up the same way: either they ask me for help and then totally ditch me on a meeting or dont answer my call, they will talk with me about a problem and then ask me " I know that you arnt doing anything anymore but I cant find anything or this person wont answer the phone for me, could you call them and get something or call around and find me something... im hurtin" OR they will call... make small talk and then ask me if I need anything!!! Grrrr!!!!!! So i changed my phone number in attempt to cut myself off from them... and some still call my house number. I can even talk to my best friend annie of 9 years because that is all she wants from me. I had called her and was bawling my eyes out and in the middle of me pouring my heart out she asked me if i knew where anything was and when I said no and tried to finish she just got off the phone with me. It reallly hurts that these people have to be like this to me. So... I am looking for new friends on this site for support. Also I am looking to help out ANYONE who wants my help. I would be trying to get a sponser but I am moving to Tennessee from Michigan in about 3 weeks on Dec 8th. My boyfriend moved down there 5 weeks ago because his father had started an auto restoration bussiness and Nick (my bf) has done auto body work and painted cars since he was 15. So i am moving down there too to get out of this drug ridden town and to work and go to school. Really im excited to live in another state I think it will be a great experience AND I WILL FINALLY HAVE MY OWN PLACE!!! YEAH!!! But anyways I have not gotten a sponser because I will be moving, and I really havnt opened up a lot at the meetings because I dont want to get close with someone and have them get close with me and then not see them for a very long time... Ill be like 500-700 miles away from them! I have been posting on here and you guys have made me feel great, and I get on often. Really so I am looking for some people who want to start a new friendship, and people who want to give help and also recieve it. Sorry if I sound all desperate... i love people and have always been a "social butterfly" and its just tough for me when i only talk to like 3-7 people all together.... but quality is better than quantity right? Hehehe! Well drop me a line, and I will drop you one back! Hoping to find some new friends, even if you are new too.... Thanks for reading my loooong ramblings Stefy

Jersey Nonny

Uh, huh, Steph! Except for one gal that I went through grammar and high school with...I don't have any of the "friends" from my drinking days. Had to follow the suggestion of the program, and stay away from people, places, and things that could lead me back to drinking.

I hope your move will be a brand new chapter in your life filled with lots of good experiences. Just remember, no matter where you go, "you take you with you"...so, it's important that you get a good network going...meetings, people, clean and sober activities.

Best wishes on the move...keep posting at SR...we're not going anywhere!

Anna

Hi Stefy,

I know that many of us have to make big changes when we decide to get sober. And, changing friends is one of the things I've had to do too. Actually, for me, it wasn't 'drinking buddy' friends that I had to remove, because I always drank alone. But, I had toxic people in my life, people who would bring me down and take and never give back. So, I got rid of the people like that, and I found wonderful people moving into my life. You're doing the right thing by changing your phone number and keeping away from people you used to know. Moving can be a good chance to start fresh. Be patient and the right people will come into your life.

In the meantime there are lots of great people here to talk to.

liiise

sounds like a great new fresh beginning! good for you, if you start going to aa or any good group like that you will meet alot of great people, solid people, not 'fair weathered friends' good luck, good job and keep us posted... Lise

Luckyv2

This is what I used to always say when I got in the program! The quality is better than the quantity. Today I look at it completely different, because today I know that if I don't get the quantity, the quality will run out anyways. Being clean has to come first, and that means living life with all of it's ups and downs and remember that Vic doesn't have to run from Vic today.

With Love and Respect

Vic

c'est la vie

You mentioned that you were planning to get a sponsor. Are you finding meetings too? That would be a great place to meet some new friends who are positive influences. Meetings can be found in any state so you shouldn't have any trouble.

emz282

hi can totally relate to the starting young losing friends thing! wont say it will solve all your problems cos it wont....(sorry)
i was the opposite to you...started on speed pot lsd anything basically at about 12 till 18.. fell pregnant and did what you did... left it all behind moved 400 miles away started afresh and yup it worked for 5 years was happyish clean etc then things got tough again and i did the only thing i know how to do when its hard to cope....(well it started with him going out all the time and me thinking..$%^* hes not the only one who can go out! so it was tit for tat...if he went out twice i week i went out 3 times,but soon i found myself needing to go out and going for meals as an excuse to drink,soon i was buying a bottle on the nights i didnt go out and it went from there)i numbed it all and drank im only 3 days into dry time....and im going on holiday on fri...arhhh...not expecting to much from myself there...as all the booze is free i will try but im not superwoman so i guess its a day at a time!
emz

Hope

Hi sweetie,

A fresh start and a new place sounds really great and exciting!

You are doing the right thing by changing people, places, and things. In my experience, anytime I tried to hold on to any one of those, I had a reservation in my sobriety. That left a door open even if only a tiny bit, and I would always end up going back. To move forward in my sobriety, I had to cut ties with anyone associated with using no matter how close they were. I even had to cut ties with family members. My sobriety had to be above all that or else I would end up using and drinking again.

You know you have us and we're always going to be here for you. *ALWAYS*

michski

Stick with the winners! Toxic people don't like losing their party buddies, but it's time for you to take care of yourself now and move on to the life you want and deserve.