Feeling Sorry for Myself
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 16
Feeling Sorry for Myself
I don't know what it is today, but I am really feeling sorry for myself. I am that self pitty mode. I can't even figure out way I am feeling this way. I should be feeling great, I have 76 days clean today, and for me, that is an accomplishment. I have a great family, but I just feel like feeling sorry for me today.
Does anyone know why we get like this, and can anyone answer this question, why is is that we A's take up smoking cigarettes if we never smoked them before we came to recovery, or if we did why do we begin to start smoking so much more of them. Do we need to just have something in our hands? Can anyone answer that for me. I have just picked up another bad habbit, that will probably be another thing I am just going to have to quit.
Why is that someone who is not an A, cannot understand what we are going through, or why is it that sometimes our significant others say, I am proud of you, but at the sametime, they are saying if you mess up and use again, it is over for us. That really hurts and it bites. That doesnt feel like much confidence to me.
Today I just want to shut down and crawl into that hole I used crawl into when I was using, but instead of using, I want to pull a blanket over my head and stay hiding all day. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME TODAY? CAN ANYONE TELL ME.
Feeling lost and confused
beautifulone
Does anyone know why we get like this, and can anyone answer this question, why is is that we A's take up smoking cigarettes if we never smoked them before we came to recovery, or if we did why do we begin to start smoking so much more of them. Do we need to just have something in our hands? Can anyone answer that for me. I have just picked up another bad habbit, that will probably be another thing I am just going to have to quit.
Why is that someone who is not an A, cannot understand what we are going through, or why is it that sometimes our significant others say, I am proud of you, but at the sametime, they are saying if you mess up and use again, it is over for us. That really hurts and it bites. That doesnt feel like much confidence to me.
Today I just want to shut down and crawl into that hole I used crawl into when I was using, but instead of using, I want to pull a blanket over my head and stay hiding all day. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME TODAY? CAN ANYONE TELL ME.
Feeling lost and confused
beautifulone
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
**Today I just want to shut down and crawl into that hole I used crawl into when I was using, but instead of using, I want to pull a blanket over my head and stay hiding all day. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME TODAY? CAN ANYONE TELL ME.
Feeling lost and confused**
We all have moods like that at times.Had them when using too,but we tended to obliterate them.The good news is that these down times usually don't last long.We can find other things to focus on,and do positive things for ourselves and for others.Often the best cure is just getting out of ourselves.
**Does anyone know why we get like this, and can anyone answer this question, why is is that we A's take up smoking cigarettes if we never smoked them before we came to recovery, or if we did why do we begin to start smoking so much more of them. Do we need to just have something in our hands? Can anyone answer that for me. I have just picked up another bad habbit, that will probably be another thing I am just going to have to quit. **
In my case it seemed that my addictive nature moved into other areas when I stopped using.I smoked more.I drank coffee like a fiend.I turned to candy when I quit smoking.I shopped too much,and bought things I didn't need and couldn't afford.One at a time I tackle these other areas,turning them over to my Higher Power when I can't do it alone.And it works...it really does.
**Why is that someone who is not an A, cannot understand what we are going through, or why is it that sometimes our significant others say, I am proud of you, but at the sametime, they are saying if you mess up and use again, it is over for us. That really hurts and it bites. That doesnt feel like much confidence to me. **
It is hard for them to understand,because they haven't been through it themselves.And our significant others are hurting too.Often they are as sick as we are,and may not have a plan for their own recovery.It's a family disease.It takes time and patience to rebuild our relationships with others.Usually they have to learn all over again to trust us,and they value actions over words.That's why making amends is so much more than just saying I'm sorry.I need to show the changes in me,and that takes time and hard work.A day at a time though,it can be done.
Recovery is a journey.Sometimes the road is rough and uncertain.But I've found that when it seemed the hardest is when I grew the most.The difficulties become blessings.
Take care of yourself.Do something nice just for you.Then do something nice for someone else.And expect a miracle.
Congrats on the 76 days
phoenix
Feeling lost and confused**
We all have moods like that at times.Had them when using too,but we tended to obliterate them.The good news is that these down times usually don't last long.We can find other things to focus on,and do positive things for ourselves and for others.Often the best cure is just getting out of ourselves.
**Does anyone know why we get like this, and can anyone answer this question, why is is that we A's take up smoking cigarettes if we never smoked them before we came to recovery, or if we did why do we begin to start smoking so much more of them. Do we need to just have something in our hands? Can anyone answer that for me. I have just picked up another bad habbit, that will probably be another thing I am just going to have to quit. **
In my case it seemed that my addictive nature moved into other areas when I stopped using.I smoked more.I drank coffee like a fiend.I turned to candy when I quit smoking.I shopped too much,and bought things I didn't need and couldn't afford.One at a time I tackle these other areas,turning them over to my Higher Power when I can't do it alone.And it works...it really does.
**Why is that someone who is not an A, cannot understand what we are going through, or why is it that sometimes our significant others say, I am proud of you, but at the sametime, they are saying if you mess up and use again, it is over for us. That really hurts and it bites. That doesnt feel like much confidence to me. **
It is hard for them to understand,because they haven't been through it themselves.And our significant others are hurting too.Often they are as sick as we are,and may not have a plan for their own recovery.It's a family disease.It takes time and patience to rebuild our relationships with others.Usually they have to learn all over again to trust us,and they value actions over words.That's why making amends is so much more than just saying I'm sorry.I need to show the changes in me,and that takes time and hard work.A day at a time though,it can be done.
Recovery is a journey.Sometimes the road is rough and uncertain.But I've found that when it seemed the hardest is when I grew the most.The difficulties become blessings.
Take care of yourself.Do something nice just for you.Then do something nice for someone else.And expect a miracle.
Congrats on the 76 days
phoenix
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Cypress, CA
Posts: 4
Feeling Lost and Confused
Hey Beautifulone,
Congrats on your 76 days. As Phoenix said, Do something nice for yourself. We spend so much time beating ourselves up that we have a hard time being nice to ourselves, especially when we have accomplished so much. One of the greatest things I found in recovery was me. This person I had spent so much time trying to dislike was hiding behind so much pain, she just needed a little TLC. Today, and even early on in my recovery I tried to do little things that helped me to discover that person. Whether it was a long bath, or a day at the park just reading a book, I soon looked forward to those moments when I could just pamper myself. I had spent so many years caught up in my addiction, I had neglected to treat myself with any kindness. I made a list of some things I really wanted to do for me and each day if I could I picked one thing. Sometimes I only had enough time to just sit down and read a page from the Big Book or listen to a favorite song, but it was time for myself and it really made a huge difference.
In relationships, we need to rebuild that trust. Even when we stop using it takes time for our SO, or a family member to see the changes. If possible maybe help your SO to get involved in Alanon. The people we are close to are often also suffering. Our drug and alcohol use has caused alot of painful experiences and our loved ones may have a difficult time expressing their feelings or their anger. In one of my relationships, my SO felt he was not needed anymore after I got clean. I was going to meetings, had a sponsor and was meeting new people in the program and he felt very shut out of my life. He had been there during the time I used and when I got clean and started to change, he felt lost, and afraid he would lose me. It is often as addicts we become involved in codependent relationships and our SO, generally the caregiver often feels abandoned and angry when we start on the road to recovery. If you have a have a sponsor it may be time to explore how you and your SO can help to change the dynamics of your relationship or seek counseling.
We all find that some days we are confused, feel alone, and are afraid. It does get better. Work the program, talk to others about how you are feeling. I found some of the greatest insight from talking to other women in the program who had some really good suggestions that helped me through some of the tougher moments. Be kind to yourself and remember it took us along time to get here.....Patience really is a virtue. One of the hardest things for me was to learn how to be patient....When I am not having such a good day, I remember that "this to shall pass."
It is, "One day at a time!"
Cheryl
Congrats on your 76 days. As Phoenix said, Do something nice for yourself. We spend so much time beating ourselves up that we have a hard time being nice to ourselves, especially when we have accomplished so much. One of the greatest things I found in recovery was me. This person I had spent so much time trying to dislike was hiding behind so much pain, she just needed a little TLC. Today, and even early on in my recovery I tried to do little things that helped me to discover that person. Whether it was a long bath, or a day at the park just reading a book, I soon looked forward to those moments when I could just pamper myself. I had spent so many years caught up in my addiction, I had neglected to treat myself with any kindness. I made a list of some things I really wanted to do for me and each day if I could I picked one thing. Sometimes I only had enough time to just sit down and read a page from the Big Book or listen to a favorite song, but it was time for myself and it really made a huge difference.
In relationships, we need to rebuild that trust. Even when we stop using it takes time for our SO, or a family member to see the changes. If possible maybe help your SO to get involved in Alanon. The people we are close to are often also suffering. Our drug and alcohol use has caused alot of painful experiences and our loved ones may have a difficult time expressing their feelings or their anger. In one of my relationships, my SO felt he was not needed anymore after I got clean. I was going to meetings, had a sponsor and was meeting new people in the program and he felt very shut out of my life. He had been there during the time I used and when I got clean and started to change, he felt lost, and afraid he would lose me. It is often as addicts we become involved in codependent relationships and our SO, generally the caregiver often feels abandoned and angry when we start on the road to recovery. If you have a have a sponsor it may be time to explore how you and your SO can help to change the dynamics of your relationship or seek counseling.
We all find that some days we are confused, feel alone, and are afraid. It does get better. Work the program, talk to others about how you are feeling. I found some of the greatest insight from talking to other women in the program who had some really good suggestions that helped me through some of the tougher moments. Be kind to yourself and remember it took us along time to get here.....Patience really is a virtue. One of the hardest things for me was to learn how to be patient....When I am not having such a good day, I remember that "this to shall pass."
It is, "One day at a time!"
Cheryl
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 16
Thanks
Thanks Phoenix and Cheryl,
I really needed the words that you said. It is great to know that I have a lot of support out there, in the program and on these pages.
Beautifulone:p
I really needed the words that you said. It is great to know that I have a lot of support out there, in the program and on these pages.
Beautifulone:p
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