German69

Up until Saturday night, I always had a good excuse for my behavior: "The drink is making me say or do this or that." Then came the last half an hour of my 2 day binge drinking and I got really, really scared. I was looking at the face of evil during my violent tirade against my husband....it wasn't the drink talking, it was actually ME saying those horrible, nasty things. I mean, the ancient old saying goes "in vino veritas est", in wine lies the truth...So, all this time, I was this evil person and the alcohol just brought her to the surface. How is one supposed to cope with that realization? I mean, I am praying to God to help me and I am willing to surrender but at the same time I feel like such a hypocrate asking God to help me 2 minutes after spewing completely vile stuff...Am I only asking Him for help because, once again, I feel lousy? How humble will I really be once I feel better again?
I'm just so scared of me right now. I don't want to go back to that vile person. So is the drink evil or is it just bringing the worst in us out?

best

All are sinners. The heart is filled with lies.
Some people handle the raw nature of being human better then others, so they don't look as bad as others.

Alcohol magnifies our nature and/or removes our control over the raw nature of being human. As we work the steps found in the AA program, we are finding answers that help correct the whole person, not just the intake of alcohol.
Mind, body and soul are all worked on by working the 12 steps of recovery.

We do change and improve our raw nature when we work a program of recovery. There is hope, help, and support. I am in such awe of the difference from who I was to who I am becoming.

doorknob

Our personality is based on the chemical make up of our brain. Alcohol has a profound effect on brain chemisty and in turn on the personality. Sure, it may make it easier to say things we really want to say, but it also changes who we are, epecially after many years of use.

Ngokpa

What makes sense to me is the basic human problem is confusion. Everyone wants to be happy, but we often go about it the wrong way because we don't know any better. Alcohol makes us even more confused, because it skews our perceptions and gives us unnatural appetites for things that ultimately make us miserable. But to one degree or another, many things do that.

Found

We become evil when we practise addiction - for me that began several days before buying the bottles/cans when I started planning it.
And you can remain asking God for help always, by remembering these happenings.

michski

IMHO there is no such thing as evil only chemical imbalance. Some one may preform evil acts but science is proving more and more everyday that evil is chemical imbalance. Drinking booze or using chemical inbalances the user.
So, if the shoe fits wear it... but don't for an instance believe you are "evil" in any religious sense of the word.. that's just crazy making stuff.