Is this it?
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Is this it?
Well as some of you well know, I did serve my wife with the divorce papers over a month ago. She did not respond in the 40 days she had to do so. My attorney sent me the papers to file an order by default.
I need to make some minor changes like the car, but all else seems ok.
I guess its coming to an end, her life right now is busy fighting to stay out of jail on the last 2 DUI’s.
God, I can’t believe it.
I need to make some minor changes like the car, but all else seems ok.
I guess its coming to an end, her life right now is busy fighting to stay out of jail on the last 2 DUI’s.
God, I can’t believe it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
hello mr. c
so sorry that yet another human being is being affected by effects of addiction.
my xah also did not respond to any court proceedings. didn't show up for divorce, didn't comply with court ordered mediation, none of it.
he was too engrossed in his addiction to take care of any real business.
take care of yourself.....i understand how disturbing it all is.
blessings
jeri
so sorry that yet another human being is being affected by effects of addiction.
my xah also did not respond to any court proceedings. didn't show up for divorce, didn't comply with court ordered mediation, none of it.
he was too engrossed in his addiction to take care of any real business.
take care of yourself.....i understand how disturbing it all is.
blessings
jeri
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Today was the first day in my life that I have ever been in a court room, let alone a court house! I was there for my dissolution hearing.
It is but another step in the legal aspect of ending a marriage that in truth, has been over for a long time when it comes to the true meaning of the definition/meaning of marriage. (Or at least my idea of what a marriage should be).
I have found that with my AH - he is an avoider. Looking back now - how perfect it must have been for him to be with me, the enabler, the fixer, the responsible one! I never realized that till just recently how we fit in that aspect. My point is that he is an avoider - and he avoids any and all that he can and only deals with things when it comes down to the wire and there is no more avoiding. Perhaps your AW is the same way. Avoid = Denial (In their way of thinking). The "If I don't deal with it, it's not really happening" theory.
Regardless....I guess what I'm trying to say is that you truly do deserve to have a happy life. The legal stuff is just that, legal stuff. It's the matters of the heart and mind that I feel needs to be focused on. Do you know what I mean? Peace, serenity, self acceptance and self worth, all through recovery.
Okay, I'm having a tough time with words right now (LOL) but I hope you get what I am trying to say.
It is but another step in the legal aspect of ending a marriage that in truth, has been over for a long time when it comes to the true meaning of the definition/meaning of marriage. (Or at least my idea of what a marriage should be).
I have found that with my AH - he is an avoider. Looking back now - how perfect it must have been for him to be with me, the enabler, the fixer, the responsible one! I never realized that till just recently how we fit in that aspect. My point is that he is an avoider - and he avoids any and all that he can and only deals with things when it comes down to the wire and there is no more avoiding. Perhaps your AW is the same way. Avoid = Denial (In their way of thinking). The "If I don't deal with it, it's not really happening" theory.
Regardless....I guess what I'm trying to say is that you truly do deserve to have a happy life. The legal stuff is just that, legal stuff. It's the matters of the heart and mind that I feel needs to be focused on. Do you know what I mean? Peace, serenity, self acceptance and self worth, all through recovery.
Okay, I'm having a tough time with words right now (LOL) but I hope you get what I am trying to say.
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Thank you,
I do understand what you have ALL said.
My life is my own now. I sleep good and I'm in better shape then I have ever been. I have a nice job that treats me well and I'm able to live and enjoy life from time to time.
I started seeing a woman about 3 months ago. We get along great and we don't need to drink to have a good time.
She makes me feel good and I her, I'm shocked that God has let her in my life.
This has all been a rebirth of sorts.
A new life, a new out look a new me, and I think a new love.
It's been a long road and it seem to be coming to the top of the hill to where I see the new land on the other side.
I do understand what you have ALL said.
My life is my own now. I sleep good and I'm in better shape then I have ever been. I have a nice job that treats me well and I'm able to live and enjoy life from time to time.
I started seeing a woman about 3 months ago. We get along great and we don't need to drink to have a good time.
She makes me feel good and I her, I'm shocked that God has let her in my life.
This has all been a rebirth of sorts.
A new life, a new out look a new me, and I think a new love.
It's been a long road and it seem to be coming to the top of the hill to where I see the new land on the other side.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
mr c
one more thought......
as court day approached for me, my heart was just pounding at the possibility of being able to see my husband.
the thought of being close to him, just breathing in the air around him, was almost unbearable.
i drove around our courthouse square for countless times, looking for his vehicle. i was elated at just the thought of his appearance.
when he didn't show, i was just as devastated.
i know what you are going through.
expect to have conflicted, mixed, feelings.....that way you can be prepared for the heart thumpin and bumpin.
blessings, mr. c
jeri
one more thought......
as court day approached for me, my heart was just pounding at the possibility of being able to see my husband.
the thought of being close to him, just breathing in the air around him, was almost unbearable.
i drove around our courthouse square for countless times, looking for his vehicle. i was elated at just the thought of his appearance.
when he didn't show, i was just as devastated.
i know what you are going through.
expect to have conflicted, mixed, feelings.....that way you can be prepared for the heart thumpin and bumpin.
blessings, mr. c
jeri
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I'm so sorry that every single bit of this has been so painful. As much as we think we understand how much an addiction will steal from us, it always seems to hit a new low. I look forward to the day that the door opens with a new and abiding love waiting for you. then....it will all make sense.
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