how I feel
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 11
how I feel
Ok, I thought I would write random thoughts about the feelings I am having, people can comment if they want to or not.
I feel like maybe if I get out of the habbitt of drinking all the time, like for instance if I go thirty or sixty days w/out drinking, maybe I wont want to drink...maybe? I don't know, but that's how I'm feeling.
We live in a nice middle class neighborhood and I took my son trick or treating last night. I think everyone in the neighborhood got together and decided to torture me because I think I counted four differn't people having a drink while passing out candy. That kind of borthered me it def made me thik about how tasty a beer or glass of wine would be. But you know what, I made it through the night, I even watched a movie, Click, (it was REALLY good if you were wondering) and I woke up today and I feel like it's going to be even easier to NOT drink. Well, hopefully, my son is going to my SIL's and hubby has to work 3-11, 3-11 shift is torture for me cause I"m by myself and I like to drink, but if I have an urge, I will be here, on line cause I have to make it at least 30-60 days. Who knows maybe I won't even want to drink after all this!
Thanks,
Kristy
I feel like maybe if I get out of the habbitt of drinking all the time, like for instance if I go thirty or sixty days w/out drinking, maybe I wont want to drink...maybe? I don't know, but that's how I'm feeling.
We live in a nice middle class neighborhood and I took my son trick or treating last night. I think everyone in the neighborhood got together and decided to torture me because I think I counted four differn't people having a drink while passing out candy. That kind of borthered me it def made me thik about how tasty a beer or glass of wine would be. But you know what, I made it through the night, I even watched a movie, Click, (it was REALLY good if you were wondering) and I woke up today and I feel like it's going to be even easier to NOT drink. Well, hopefully, my son is going to my SIL's and hubby has to work 3-11, 3-11 shift is torture for me cause I"m by myself and I like to drink, but if I have an urge, I will be here, on line cause I have to make it at least 30-60 days. Who knows maybe I won't even want to drink after all this!
Thanks,
Kristy
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Hi, Kristy...thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
This is only my personal opinion, based on my own personal experience:
First of all...I don't consider it a "habit" (like biting my nails, or sucking my thumb, etc.)...I believe it is a "disease"; and, as with any disease (diabetes, cancer, etc.), there must be some type of "medicine" applied.
Secondly...I got "dry" through a hospital detox, followed by 28 days in a rehabilitation facility...let's consider that was the period of diagnosis when I finally accepted that I am an alcoholic.
Thirdly...I got "sober" by attending 90 meetings (actually many more) in 90 days...got an AA sponsor...joined an AA group.
Finally...and for me most important...I continued to attend meetings and became very active in my AA group. For the next 20+ years, this was my regular dose of "medicine" which, One Day At A Time, helped me to stay sober.
After almost 27 years of continued sobriety, the thought of drinking very seldom (if ever) crosses my mind...it's usually only when someone else is talking about it, as when I read this thread of yours and I remembered back to what it was like way back then.
Is there any possible way (while your husband is working 3-11), you could attend AA meetings? You might find the support of those people very helpful in your efforts not to drink. Please try it, if you can.
I feel like maybe if I get out of the habbitt of drinking all the time, like for instance if I go thirty or sixty days w/out drinking, maybe I wont want to drink...maybe? I don't know, but that's how I'm feeling.
First of all...I don't consider it a "habit" (like biting my nails, or sucking my thumb, etc.)...I believe it is a "disease"; and, as with any disease (diabetes, cancer, etc.), there must be some type of "medicine" applied.
Secondly...I got "dry" through a hospital detox, followed by 28 days in a rehabilitation facility...let's consider that was the period of diagnosis when I finally accepted that I am an alcoholic.
Thirdly...I got "sober" by attending 90 meetings (actually many more) in 90 days...got an AA sponsor...joined an AA group.
Finally...and for me most important...I continued to attend meetings and became very active in my AA group. For the next 20+ years, this was my regular dose of "medicine" which, One Day At A Time, helped me to stay sober.
After almost 27 years of continued sobriety, the thought of drinking very seldom (if ever) crosses my mind...it's usually only when someone else is talking about it, as when I read this thread of yours and I remembered back to what it was like way back then.
Is there any possible way (while your husband is working 3-11), you could attend AA meetings? You might find the support of those people very helpful in your efforts not to drink. Please try it, if you can.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
AA meetings will be held during the time your going to be
alone.
It is said to take 90 days to break a habit..if you are
interested in making a time line.
That is why treatment centers started to suggest 90 meetings in 90 days
The 90/ 90 is not basic AA but it works well!
Glad to see you checked in..
alone.
It is said to take 90 days to break a habit..if you are
interested in making a time line.
That is why treatment centers started to suggest 90 meetings in 90 days
The 90/ 90 is not basic AA but it works well!
Glad to see you checked in..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 11
Well, I can go to meetings, when he's working 3-11, but I have school until ten. I have realized though, if I don't leave school early and stick it out, by 10pm if I haven't drank yet, I dont' want to. So, I just have to stay in school until 10. Do you think if I go to meetings and tell people I think I can drink after 30-60 days they would be mad at me?????
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by CarolD
The 90/ 90 is not basic AA but it works well!
Glad to see you checked in..
Glad to see you checked in..
You are never alone and remember that we just have to do this deal for Today!
Love Vic
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Vic...FYI...or anyone else interested.
The first Basic Text was printed in 1983, and was subsequently quickly reprinted (as the second edition), the third edition published was substantially identical to the first edition.
Professional editors and writers were hired in 1986 to improve the Basic Text so that it was more consistent in tone and style. The resultant 4th edition was released in 1988; a 5th edition was released in 1991, and is the version currently in wide use today.
In 2004, it was announced that a sixth edition of the N.A. Basic Text was being prepared, and would be submitted for approval in 2008. There would be no changes to the majority of the text, but the "personal stories" section would replace some older stories with new ones.
-------------------------------------------------------
First published in 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) sets forth cornerstone concepts of recovery from alcoholism and tells the stories of men and women who have overcome the disease. With the publication of the second edition in 1955, the third edition in 1976, and now the fourth edition in 2001, the essential recovery text has remained unchanged while personal stories have been added to reflect the growing and diverse fellowship. The long-awaited fourth edition features 24 new personal stories.
--------------------------------------------------------
I gave my Big Book to a newcomer at an AA meeting, so I really couldn't tell you if there is any mention of "90 meetings in 90 days". What I do know is that, when I attended my very first meeting in 1979 (four years before the first printing of the Basic Text) it was strongly suggested that I attend 90 meetings in 90 days. I took the suggestion; but, being the "over-achiever" that I am, probably made many more than that at the rate of 10 - 14 meetings a week. (I once jokingly asked someone if it was possible to "overdose on meetings".)
The first Basic Text was printed in 1983, and was subsequently quickly reprinted (as the second edition), the third edition published was substantially identical to the first edition.
Professional editors and writers were hired in 1986 to improve the Basic Text so that it was more consistent in tone and style. The resultant 4th edition was released in 1988; a 5th edition was released in 1991, and is the version currently in wide use today.
In 2004, it was announced that a sixth edition of the N.A. Basic Text was being prepared, and would be submitted for approval in 2008. There would be no changes to the majority of the text, but the "personal stories" section would replace some older stories with new ones.
-------------------------------------------------------
First published in 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) sets forth cornerstone concepts of recovery from alcoholism and tells the stories of men and women who have overcome the disease. With the publication of the second edition in 1955, the third edition in 1976, and now the fourth edition in 2001, the essential recovery text has remained unchanged while personal stories have been added to reflect the growing and diverse fellowship. The long-awaited fourth edition features 24 new personal stories.
--------------------------------------------------------
I gave my Big Book to a newcomer at an AA meeting, so I really couldn't tell you if there is any mention of "90 meetings in 90 days". What I do know is that, when I attended my very first meeting in 1979 (four years before the first printing of the Basic Text) it was strongly suggested that I attend 90 meetings in 90 days. I took the suggestion; but, being the "over-achiever" that I am, probably made many more than that at the rate of 10 - 14 meetings a week. (I once jokingly asked someone if it was possible to "overdose on meetings".)
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Hi Kristy,
If you go to meetings, or post here, and tell people that you think you'll be able to drink after 30 - 60 days, they will tell you that you're not an alcoholic. And, they would be right. Alcoholics can never drink.
The cravings will lessen with time and you will feel less urge to drink as time goes on. My best advice is to plan ahead. Make sure you're doing something else during those times when you would have been drinking.
If you go to meetings, or post here, and tell people that you think you'll be able to drink after 30 - 60 days, they will tell you that you're not an alcoholic. And, they would be right. Alcoholics can never drink.
The cravings will lessen with time and you will feel less urge to drink as time goes on. My best advice is to plan ahead. Make sure you're doing something else during those times when you would have been drinking.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Do you think if I go to meetings and tell people I think I can drink after 30-60 days they would be mad at me?????
BTW...you didn't say whether you work during the day...you didn't say what time your classes start. There are daytime meetings...lunchtime even for folks who can make them then...others from about 5:00 p.m. until 9 - 10 p.m. I see you live in Maryland...just go on line and search AA meetings.
Kristy...I see from another thread that you already made a meeting on Sunday night, and it was a really good experience for you. So, I guess you were able to search out a meeting without my help.
Good for you! Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Originally Posted by kristy
Well, I can go to meetings, when he's working 3-11, but I have school until ten. I have realized though, if I don't leave school early and stick it out, by 10pm if I haven't drank yet, I dont' want to. So, I just have to stay in school until 10. Do you think if I go to meetings and tell people I think I can drink after 30-60 days they would be mad at me?????
patterns...and working out a solution!
AA members have heard almost everything in meetings.
I just bet some one there is thinking or has thought the
same as you..don't let that deter you from going please.
I think of meetings as classrooms for sober living.
I can always hear something of value.
Keep in focus..
Please call 202..966..9115
for Md. AA meeting info
Last edited by CarolD; 11-01-2006 at 03:19 PM.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Bangor, maine
Posts: 78
Kristy,
Thanks for posting. I have now started my 12th month of sobriety.
No one knows anything in particular about you, and if you are one of those rare individuals who is compelled to seek out help who turns out not to be an alcoholic, that is certainly a pssibility, though not likely.
Most people who look for help in controling a drinking problem, can not in fact control their drinking problem. However these are only my opinions, and since i honestly don't know you, just ignore whatever does not apply to you.
I tried for a very long time to control my drinking, and for the better part of twenty years was successful. I only drank too much *most* of the time when i was able to avoid negative consequences. one day I could no longer stop drinking regardless of what problems they caused.
Many times i tried to make deals, drink only a few nights a week, quit drinking, but keep a bottle in my apartment just in case--(alright i hear the laughter. We all know just in case of what).
The prblem was not that i always drank too much though in the end that was the problem. the problem was really a *loss of control*. I did not ever know how much or when I would stop drinking.
The results were of course persistently disasterous.
After almost a year of not drinking, not one drop, I still crave alcohol every day, though at times i find the smell on other people repulsive, (like i used to smell all the time).
The only way for me not to drink is ONE DAY AT A TIME. I could never face the idea of truly never drinking again. The only promise I can keep is i will not drink today. And remind myself of why when the urge strikes every morning when I wake up.
If you have these strong urges and a preoccupation with alcohol my only suggestion is that you seriously consider whether or not this is more serious than you want to think.
Thanks for posting. I have now started my 12th month of sobriety.
No one knows anything in particular about you, and if you are one of those rare individuals who is compelled to seek out help who turns out not to be an alcoholic, that is certainly a pssibility, though not likely.
Most people who look for help in controling a drinking problem, can not in fact control their drinking problem. However these are only my opinions, and since i honestly don't know you, just ignore whatever does not apply to you.
I tried for a very long time to control my drinking, and for the better part of twenty years was successful. I only drank too much *most* of the time when i was able to avoid negative consequences. one day I could no longer stop drinking regardless of what problems they caused.
Many times i tried to make deals, drink only a few nights a week, quit drinking, but keep a bottle in my apartment just in case--(alright i hear the laughter. We all know just in case of what).
The prblem was not that i always drank too much though in the end that was the problem. the problem was really a *loss of control*. I did not ever know how much or when I would stop drinking.
The results were of course persistently disasterous.
After almost a year of not drinking, not one drop, I still crave alcohol every day, though at times i find the smell on other people repulsive, (like i used to smell all the time).
The only way for me not to drink is ONE DAY AT A TIME. I could never face the idea of truly never drinking again. The only promise I can keep is i will not drink today. And remind myself of why when the urge strikes every morning when I wake up.
If you have these strong urges and a preoccupation with alcohol my only suggestion is that you seriously consider whether or not this is more serious than you want to think.
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
Originally Posted by CarolD
It is said to take 90 days to break a habit..if you are
interested in making a time line.
That is why treatment centers started to suggest 90 meetings in 90 days
The 90/ 90 is not basic AA but it works well!
interested in making a time line.
That is why treatment centers started to suggest 90 meetings in 90 days
The 90/ 90 is not basic AA but it works well!
it totally changed my life. its been over 6 months since i finished the 90/90 and it was the best thing ive ever done.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 348
Kristy,
I can totally relate on the Halloween and drinking. I saw a few people holding a glass of wine. Red, for that matter. Anyho, you are doing great and we can all do this. Hang in there..
Joanne
I can totally relate on the Halloween and drinking. I saw a few people holding a glass of wine. Red, for that matter. Anyho, you are doing great and we can all do this. Hang in there..
Joanne
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Stormtooth...I found so much identification in your post.
A big mistake (and a potentially dangerous one) I made at the first few open meetings I attended...I was comparing my drinking/problems with many of the speakers. The stories sounded so horrendous, that I was subconsciously thinking, "I'm not that bad...maybe I'm not really an alcoholic." I mentioned this to someone; and they suggested that, instead of looking for the differences, I look for the similarities.
Lo and behold...when I became more open-minded to the possibility that I had more in common with these alcoholics than I wanted to admit...I was finally able to go to closed meetings and say, "Hi! My name is Rae, and I'm an alcoholic." What a relief!
A big mistake (and a potentially dangerous one) I made at the first few open meetings I attended...I was comparing my drinking/problems with many of the speakers. The stories sounded so horrendous, that I was subconsciously thinking, "I'm not that bad...maybe I'm not really an alcoholic." I mentioned this to someone; and they suggested that, instead of looking for the differences, I look for the similarities.
Lo and behold...when I became more open-minded to the possibility that I had more in common with these alcoholics than I wanted to admit...I was finally able to go to closed meetings and say, "Hi! My name is Rae, and I'm an alcoholic." What a relief!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Bangor, maine
Posts: 78
Hi Raerob,
Thanks for your response.
As bad as a drinker as I was, I had someone i compared myself to who was so far over the top that it is amazing he was walking at all. After all, I wasn't *that* bad--at least not yet.
I did get close. however the individual was a famous Russian organic chemist who was drinking perhaps two bottles of laboratory grade ethanol a day on top of his 12-pack a day habit.
Yeah, I never drank in the lab. But he has at least a decade on me.
Factualy I was physicaly addicted to alcohol, got most of my "nutrition" from alcohol, and got ill if I did not get enough alcohol.
That is an alcoholic. Everyone else saw me shake late in the day. That was just too much coffee and my high strung nature
.
In the end when my friends came to confront me I suppose it was the lamest intervention ever, because i was too sick to argue and i knew there was nothing for me to argue about.
Thanks for your response.
As bad as a drinker as I was, I had someone i compared myself to who was so far over the top that it is amazing he was walking at all. After all, I wasn't *that* bad--at least not yet.
I did get close. however the individual was a famous Russian organic chemist who was drinking perhaps two bottles of laboratory grade ethanol a day on top of his 12-pack a day habit.
Yeah, I never drank in the lab. But he has at least a decade on me.
Factualy I was physicaly addicted to alcohol, got most of my "nutrition" from alcohol, and got ill if I did not get enough alcohol.
That is an alcoholic. Everyone else saw me shake late in the day. That was just too much coffee and my high strung nature
.In the end when my friends came to confront me I suppose it was the lamest intervention ever, because i was too sick to argue and i knew there was nothing for me to argue about.
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