karrotop

hi again....day #16 for me..i know it'll take time to regain the trust and respect of my daughter,but she loves me and wants a sober happy mom,the strong mother she used to have.....she has an alcoholic father too,so for me to also have problems is too much for her to bear....she told me she needs me to be a role model......powerful words....words i need to remember daily....my best friend,the recovering alcoholic,who bailed out on me,who said i was making her want to drink,who said she could no longer be my friend until i went to AA.......i miss our friendship.....and i haven't talked to her in over a month...i want to call her and tell her i am doing better now....but i am still hurt and angry.....how could she leave me when i needed her the most? is that what AA tells you? i thought helping others in need helps your own recovery....if we do reconnect.....and i slip up......will she leave me again? i don't think i want a friendship with,"conditions"...do this,or we can't be friends....I miss her terribly....should i call her,or should i wait until i have more sober time,or should i call her at all?(she hasn't called me to see how i am doing)please.....any advice?thanks.

OnRecoveryRoad

I am sorry to hear about your problems with your best friends. Helping others is part of our recovery. However, a person's recovery is the FIRST priority NO MATTER WHAT. I don't know what problems your friend is having, and it may not having anything to do with you. That could be an excuse on her part. But she may feel that HER recovery comes before all else...you don't know what she's going through. Your relapse may have scared her and needs to worry about herself it happens.

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself and the issue your having between friends. Time may work out that issue. But the MOST IMPORTANT Thing right now. is your OWN RECOVERY. Worry about yourself and worry about your daughter. All else sometimes is in God's hands.

Support is so important in this program, rely on your other AA brothers and sisters to get your through. That's what the program is about..rely on us!

Keep coming back.

Rusty Zipper

karo, day 16... great...

karo were here you the ones ywho want help, not ones that need it... and we can only help the ones that are not drinking, or useing drugs at the time... we cant get through to them... its like banging our heads into a wall... the wall of denial, excuses, pity, whineing and complaining...

kara give time time... your actions will show what the outcome can be...


try to keep your will out for now... this is what worked for me... and by the way, some people will never forgive... thats just the fact... as long as were better, thats what matters...

good wishes to you kara

Anna

In my opinion, No, time does not heal all wounds. But, it allows you the perspective to be able to see and learn from your past and to accept that some things are just the way they are.

A lot of things will be improved over time. Just keep moving forward.

CarolD

Call her..she will be pleased that you are sober.

Congratulations on your sober time!

madambali

I have to believe that it does. I know that I hurt, disappointed and "turned-off" alot of people. If I thought that I would not be forgiven after a period of time, then I would live in a dark, dark place in my heart. In doing my step work I have worked the 8th step and listed all of the people that I have harmed and then in the 9th step made the amends I needed to make. It actually set me free and in walking thru that fear of rejection, the relationships I had grew even stronger.

In my experience Karrotop, people really do want to forgive and given the opportunity they will. If you take the initiative, I bet you will be surprised how receptive your friend is. Let us know.

Keep fighting the good fight.

Love,
Karen