cubbie

My family just found about my 3rd DWI arrest. Obviously, they are upset and disappointed. I wanted to give myself some time to get on the right track before I told them. Was that selfish of me?

Also, my parents told me that I am a failure and that I am using alcoholism/mental issues (depression, anxiety, etc.) as an excuse to justify my behavior. I understand why they are upset. I had everything in the world, and I lost it all because of alcohol abuse.

I have been sober for over a month now. I have no idea how my court case will play out. I am waiting to clear a background check so I can start working. This is a major cause of anxiety. I am constantly checking my email and voice mail to see if there is any progress on my file. I am in a really bad position (legal troubles, no job, dwindling funds, etc.) right now due to my irresponsibility in the past. Should I expect sympathy from my family? Or, is enduring such adversity part of recovery? I feel really low right, perhaps the lowest I have felt in my life. I just feel things are going to get a lot worse for everyone before they get better. Simply not drinking is not good enough. It won't make my troubles go away.

nogard

Hi Cubbie,

It can take time for those close to us to come around and I don't think symapthy comes into it. Do you have a program? Speak to people in your program and keep speaking to them. When we 1st get sober and life crowds in it gets pretty busy, just take it one day at a time and under no circumstances pick up that 1st drink.

Thinking of you.

Kevin

Rusty Zipper

cubbie its now about how to handle trouble... and the parental units...? ... showum your trying to be responsible for your part...acountability...


in time, watch the results... and of course cubbie, as in everything... no guarantees... just you have a way better shot...

good wishes cubbie... xxoo, patee

Anna

Hi Cubbie,

I know how frustrating it is to not be able to make everything right again, when you stop drinking. I desparately wanted that too. But, part of the recovery process is understanding that you can't do that.

In my opinion, you shouldn't worry about whether your family is offering you sympathy. Just keep moving forward, do every day what you need to do and do it for yourself. Things will begin to improve.

mackie

Cubbie..........

Kick the ego to the curbside and SURRENDER to your disease! The ego/pride thing keeps a lot of us addicts sick. So, now is better than later.

You don't mention a PROGRAM?!? Contact your local AA chapter and get to a meeting. There are WONDERFUL people just waiting to help a newcomer early in recovery.

Just SHOW them..............by staying sober, working a program and DOING THE NEXT RIGHT THING!

Good luck! Keep posting to let us know how you are doing!

peely

cubbie I'm sorry to hear about your troubles and wish I could help alleviate your concerns. I don't know your family circumstances but I know mine like to take a big stick to you (not literally) with one hand and with the other offer friendship and support. It's kind of keeping each other in check but with some loving attached. Will your family respond to your sobiety and effort to change your life? I hope they will give you a hand till you can get on your feet again, and I know you will do this.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts here...thank you for sharing yourselves and having the courage to change, good for all of you I am relating to so many issues - letting myself and others down because of drinking, feeling ashamed and how debilitating that becomes, how it reinforces the drinking behaviour. And thinking about issues around attending AA and being a dry drunk. I think that just stopping drinking isn't enough, we do need to do something else, but I'm still working it out with AA. Coming in here has saved me, have been in a really dark place lately but want a new life more than anything. So here I'll be
best wishes everyone you inspire me to keep going and you should be so proud of yourselves for your achievements - thanks for being here! x