QWT61706

I am new and have posted once........my fiance is using and this weekend was TOTALLY an eye opener for me. He took some "new fangled" pill called a purple dolphin........well he fell out in the restroom and started shaking, heart was beating fast and all I could do was scream at the top of my lungs. I thought he was going to die...........as a little girl I watched my dad shoot up heroin on two occasions and it was very traumatic. After seeing my fiance in this state I decided that I can and will not live under the same roof with him. I didnt give and ultimatum I just left. I REFUSE to say the words or give an ultimatum. He has to get help on his own. So when he asked why I left. I told him for MY OWN PEACE OF MIND AND SANITY..........He called me this morning from a facility........................so the saga continues. This is his first time in treatment. He has been using off and on all his adult life. But as far as I know it has never been this bad.

denny57

That's the best reason as far as I'm concerned. I hope all goes well and you stay safe and sane.

((()))

RC3

I think it was very brave of you to just leave without the ultimatum. I have given the same ultimatum over and over again "rehab or it's over" needless to say his answer is always okay I guess it's over. You so did the right thing, you cannot give an addict the choice of choosing right from wrong, because if they knew how to do the right thing they would have. You as the sane person made the decision, thank you because that is my plan the next time he messes up. This could be the begining of his recovery since he chose to go to a facility on his own. I hope it is for your peace of mind and for his life. Thank you, you gave me a rush of strength.

best

A very solid reason. Maybe the only true reason.

You did well by not voicing an ultimatum. There are times that words just fall to the ground unheard. Actions get results...Peace of Mind and Sanity

queenteree

Just my two cents: my AH drank heavily for many years before I met him, he stopped after we were together for about three years, he was sober for over 14 (at which time we married), now he drinks all the time again. A word of advice - never forget that there may always be that relapse, no matter how many years later, and you will find yourself back in the same boat again, hating yourself for making that choice and once again, losing your sanity. Only you will have invested much more time and energy into the relationship, and it may seem harder to walk away. Unless you are prepared to go through that, please think twice before giving him another chance.

Cynay

OUCH....

I have watched someone close to me almost OD... that is not a pleasant experience at all.... Im sorry you had to go through that hon.

I cant begin to tell you what you should or should not do.... the only thing I can offer is my thoughts and experience.... The guy that OD'ed .... I talk to him about 3 years ago and he was still fighting the battle, so that has been what over 20 years.....

Always remember to keep yourself safe and ACTIONS speak louder then words, most programs I know of suggest no major changes for one year... since you have left him perhaps some timeout would be good for both of you?

atalose

You did the best thing you could ever do for yourself. I also left my finanee when his drug use became apparent. He immediately signed himself into a detox but that was only to stop me from leaving him. When he realized I wasn't running back, he checked himself out. His life took a turn for the worse, he ended up in jail where he detoxed, then he went into a 30 day rehab, then another step down rehab for 18 days then into a halfway house. I did not make any contact with him unti he was at least 90 days clean and I saw he was serious about his recovery.
During that time I attended al-anon and it helped me cope with what had happened. He and I are back together, we both take things a day at a time, he goes to his meetings and I go to mine. We support each other in our recoveries.
Please know you did the right thing for you, he needs to do the right things for him.
With my fiancee, through his family and our friends, he knew I supported his recovery but for my own sake could not make contact. I was supportive from a distance and he didn't like that but he accepted it.