IndigoNA

It seems like I don't really care talking about my addiction. I was completely the opposite while I was using drugs/alcohol. I wouldn't talk about my problems (any problem, not only my addiction) with ANYONE, not one single soul. I used to save everything to myself. I wouldn't tell my parents, friends, or even girlfriend.

Now I feel I'm the opposite even with strangers. I have a hard time making friends. Could it be possible that I just open up so they feel pity for me and they like me for this (am I trying to be a martyr?)? Or just something to talk about? Or am I just being honest?

I'm confused, I don't even know why I do it, I really don't mind doing it though. I'd like to know your thoughts. Thanks guys.

Anna

It's always a personal decision IndigoNA. Whatever you're comfortable with talking about is okay. For me, it's not okay to talk to people about my addiction, outside of this board. I have found that when I approached the subject, people react in a negative way. People have stereotype attitudes about addicts and I just don't like that.

michski

I had a different problem being that everyone who ever laid their eyes on me knew how screwed up I was. First of all when I got sober it was a shock that people knew me because I sure didn't remember them.. at all. Everyone noticed I was "different" and so it was easy to talk about my recovery and my process. My old drinking buddies stayed away from me because I was in the program and other friends were really sincere about being happy for me that I had finally seen the light and cleaned up.

If no one had known about my addiction/alcohol problems I would have only brought up the subject of recovery with my closest friends. Most people will always continue to see you "in recovery" and it's hard for them to understand the process. It's been almost 5 years since I've quit killing myself with booze and yet there are still people I know out there who refuse to see my growth...they can't see me as who I've become only who I was.

So my 2 cents is to keep your anonymity precious.

Sugah

I'm going to school (as are you, right?), so I come in contact with a lot of people who didn't know me in my past life and don't know me now from the program.

Being an English & especially as a creative writing student, many of my experiences were begging to be written. I could either "out" myself to my professors or write about something else, even though the project was practically begging for my particular brand of experience. I chose to incorporate all of my life into my work, so they came to know that I'm in recovery (in many cases, I made a point to discuss it when turning in a paper). Then, I encountered a few students over time who were struggling with addiction issues, and I very gently carried the message to them. I've always carried meeting lists, and I have a small group of recovery friends whom I discovered by these chance meetings.

By my third semester, I was asked by a psychology professor to speak to his class about recovery -- with an anonymity statement read before the class began. We're a small campus; it was a large class. I never received "backlash" from it, nor did I expect to.

Then, in the spring, I was asked by the county drug & alcohol commission to speak at a Town Hall Meeting on the topic of underage drinking. I respected the traditions, and AA was never mentioned in the news article, but my personal story, along with my full name, got about six column inches in the local newspaper, along with a campus-wide news article (it was a very slow news day). As a result of that town hall mtg, I've been asked to participate in a D&A peer counseling group. I just spoke to my service sponsor today about how I should go about it. They don't want our local P&I committee on campus. They want actual students who've been through it with whom other students might be able to relate.

Now, that's me. I share my story with others freely if it's relevant. If I'm invited out for drinks after class and a classmate isn't accepting my "no, thank you" I will first tell them that I don't drink, and if they persist (I've encounted this), I will give them an earful and then ask if I had lung cancer, would they insist I have a cigarette with them? I have patience & tolerance to a point, but I don't appreciate that kind of pressure. I have yet to lose a friend over it, but if I did and they're spending that much of their time drinking, I figure I'll end up having a cup of coffee with many of them sooner or later!

So that answers how I handle it. I don't talk about my past in casual conversation unless it's relevant and useful. I live in today, and today, I don't live in active addiction. If they aren't like me, or don't have loved ones who are like me, then they deal with the sober me, and it's none of their business what I did a few years ago.

How you handle your own recovery, what and how much you want to share is of course up to you. The question my sponsor would ask me if I explained my dilemma to her would be, "What are your motives?" Do you feel you have no other experience to share with others? Are you trying to set yourself apart from them? When you can answer the motives question, you'll be in a better position to determine if you share too much or inappropriately.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Ngokpa

I've told many people I'm in recovery. I don't feel I have to hide it if I'm being sociable. But that's me. Addiction issues are everywhere, and there's a lot of misunderstanding about them, and I like putting my two cents in. But I only do it if it seems the subject comes up. I don't need to tell the supermarket check-out clerk what's going on.