justagirl

Been married over 10 years....Real rocky start to due to his addictions and my craziness. But we got so good there, boundries, respect, we got along good most of the time, nothing too major.

Now....I have lost the trust, security...he has broken boundries, used my insecurities against me, nothing is the same anymore...

Is this what happens in addiction? To just turn into someone different regarding character? Or was I being fooled? I feel like I can't trust my own feelings anymore. Like being in disbelief.

Can someone really love someone and hurt them so deliberately? Or is this part of the mental breakdown from abusing so long?

mallowcup

I dont know but I have asked myself the same things. Toward the end of my first marriage, The man I married, whoever he was, either stopped pretending or he had just cooked his brain. People who do drugs and drink BS each other and they get away with it because their fair weathered friends don't really care or expect anything from them. They normal up at first around home because the wife and kids are the measure that they use to prove their problem isn't out of control. Then they get sloppy. Eventually, if you buy it, fine, if you don't, you're in the way. They want love for nothing. They want love for being there. They share nothing but the air in the room. They get into a cycle of work, family, drinking and drugging. Progressively they start losing the jobs and the family. They throw away everything that requires anything of them. I totally think a good person can change in character. That's what drugs do.

constant

Been married 18 years.....the craziness was there in the beginning, only I was too young and in love to see it. Three kids and half a lifetime later, I have seen too much and unfortunately, so have my children. I believe that I have been able to stay on the ferris wheel for sooooo long because of respect, but recent events have almost deteriorated all of that away. As events unfold, I am realizing that without respect ANY relationship will have a difficult time surviving.

Since I have been in the insanity so long, I'm not sure if he was always this way (I don't think he was) or he has grown worse over the years. It certainly seems as if he is choosing to meet his needs more and more without seeming to care how it affects the rest of the family. What a terrible way to lose everything that really matters......

Hugs to you,
Constant

traciears

I have been in a relationship for one year now with a Heroin Addict. I finally had enough and it was more than one month since I have talked with him. Last week he left me a note and like an idiot I wrote back with all of my feelings that I have. He called me on Tuesday night and like a fool again I talked with him. On Thursday I took our dog by to see him and his family. I said he had been clean for 2 1/2 months. I found out he was living in his car and was doing coke and heroin for the whole time we were apart. He pawned his parents jewlery and a cross that I got for him last Christmas. He cried to me that he did not want this life anymore and I spent the weekend with him and he seemed fine and is trying to recover. Well today he admitted he used one week ago and is on Suboxone and his brother took them and asked me to drop him off so he could go get high. I think at that point I finally truly feel that I am done with this. The lies have been to much for me. I usually know when he is getting high or high but to actually hear him tell me he was going to get high was a bit much. I dropped him off and told him good luck and I could not talk to him again. He has been calling me all day and was sitting at my house while I was at the gym. I just feel like this nightmare is never going to end. He tells me he wants to marry me but I do not think he will ever be completely clean.