Question for sober men regarding sex after quitting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 27
Question for sober men regarding sex after quitting
Hello, I have been sober for almost three weeks now, and am feeling fantastic, getting things done, feeling happy - everything in my life has taken a positive move. Except, that is for sex.
Although my drive has improved, and I have no trouble performing, I find that I'm way too sensitive, and although I wouldn't call it premature, I'm not lasting five minutes...
I realise that I was anaesthetising (sp?) myself for years, and when drunk could go for an hour or so, but even when not drunk could control myself fairly well. I'm pretty sure I haven't got any nerve damage, circulation issues, psychological probs, and am otherwise in good shape mentally & physically.
My question is, has anyone experienced this before, if so - does it go away/ get better/ worse/ something else? I really don't want to go through the whole medical rigmarole of having it checked if it's something that others have experienced & resolved.
Thanks, any feedback is appreciated.
Although my drive has improved, and I have no trouble performing, I find that I'm way too sensitive, and although I wouldn't call it premature, I'm not lasting five minutes...
I realise that I was anaesthetising (sp?) myself for years, and when drunk could go for an hour or so, but even when not drunk could control myself fairly well. I'm pretty sure I haven't got any nerve damage, circulation issues, psychological probs, and am otherwise in good shape mentally & physically.
My question is, has anyone experienced this before, if so - does it go away/ get better/ worse/ something else? I really don't want to go through the whole medical rigmarole of having it checked if it's something that others have experienced & resolved.
Thanks, any feedback is appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
Sober sex is different from drug and alcohol induced sex...period!
I don't think that you need to be a rocket scientist or a man to be able to have an opinion or discuss it!
Just keep on practicing...if you've got a willing partner...
maybe try some other things...
It will get better!
Everyone's different...
there's a huge range of what's considered "normal"...
Alcohol & drugs tend to lower the inhibitions...
DUH...
My exah went from being a 5 minute man sober to being a marathon man on crystal meth...
one of the reasons why it was so hard to give it up...
{Pun intended}...
My bad...
Seriously...
if you're in a loving committed relationship...I think that this is probably just something that will improve with time...
and if not...then talk to the Dr.
You've seen the commercials...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
Yep, having sex sober is totally different than when high on anything else but your partner! I had problems getting interested but I know a guy who began getting screwed up before he even had sex and it was a difficult and frustrating experience for him to, for the first time in his life, have sex while straight!
I agree.. it'll all be fine. Practice makes perfect!!
I agree.. it'll all be fine. Practice makes perfect!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
Were you already in a relationship before recovery? It is strongly recommended that people do not take up any new sexual relationships early in recovery, as these can completely distract from the spiritual and emotional work you need to do to get clean/sober. Sex can also easily become a substitute addiction, which can lead to lots of trouble.
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