Dee Emm

I have a question...based on y'all's experience(s), is it likely for a long term heavy drinker's verbal abuse to become more than that ? Is there a relationship between the length of the addiction and this possibility ? If "yes" are there warning signs that it would help for me to be aware of ?

Thanks,
Dee Emm

Anna

Hi Dee,

This is only my opinion.

I think verbal abuse, whether or not the person is an addict, will likely become more intense and possibly move on to physical abuse. In my opinion, I don't think it necessarily has to do with the person being an addict or not. Someone who engages in verbal abuse is angry and needs to learn a healthy way to deal with his/her feelings.

As far as addiction, it will likely get worse unless it gets better.

Since you are concerned enough to post about this, I would suggest that you make a plan to take care of yourself.

dalin

take care of yourself

michski

((( Dee Emm )))

Verbal abuse is phyisical abuse. It bruises you brain and your heart and your dreams. Don't take it.. don't put up with it.

DesertEyes

Hello Dee, and welcome to Sober Recovery. Here's some important information that has the answers to your questions.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html

Mike

Doug

The verbal abuse is a warning sign, and yes, it escalates....

Find and do the things you need to do to take care of you. That'd be your best course of action.

Welcome to SR Dee, stick around and talk.

Live

Coming in late....one of my biggest mistakes was to confuse substance abuse and domestic abuse as being of the same problem. Please read the stickies about abuse at the top of the forums, including Women In
Recovery, which speaks much about verbal/emotional abuse.

mazey

Having been there, verbal abuse can lead to physical abuse, BUT like was said earlier....verbal abuse is physical abuse, pretty significant statement. I wish there would be a neon sign that told us to 'watch out' AND we would read it and pay attention, but that would be too easy. We have cared about them and trusted they wouldn't REALLY hurt us......but it can happen. Take care and really think about this. READ everything that has been suggested and more, see if anything is relative to your situation. Something I learned here is that abuse and addiction ARE 2 separate issues. I thought they went together, but not necisarily(sp)so. There are anger issues in some people, we just are too trusting to recognize them.

Live

Here is what I have learned and it is too late....so take heed, if you can, RUN, RUN, don't walk, don't waver. Sometimes now I say awful things. I wish I could take that part of me away. I learned it. I learned it from the person who verbally abused me. Otherwise, I couldn't wouldn't even think that way, leave alone say those things. I wish they had never entered my head! I was abused, and now, damn me, sometimes my words abuse. I wasn't capable of it before. My imagination did not contain such things.
Get the heck out......quick, sooner the better!
Do not let it become a part of you!

Grasshopper

In my own experience,no.Hub drank for 30 years.It never lead to anything phyical.The verbal abuse eventually stoped,when i stoped responding to it,and saw it as it was.A sick person saying sick things,that i dont need to take personally.or respond to.going on deaf ears.,After not getting the reaction,and,/pay-off that he wanted,he stoped.I stoped reacting ,focusing on becoming the person that i wanted to be,knew that i can be,regardless of what another thinks or says.Learning recovery.
Because someone, throws balls my way,
does not mean i have to catch them,lol.

denny57

I think it's important to look at the person. AH had an underlying anger that got worse with drinking. As his disease progressed, his anger, resentments and rage grew, too. Once he was out of the house I found a journal entry where he talked of his fear of doing me physical harm in a drunken rage - he used the word murder.

If I didn't have that in writing, no one would believe him capable of it, though everyone admits he's the angriest man they ever met. And the funniest.

Try to listen to your gut and don't talk yourself out of it.

Good luck.

Cynay

Nothing to add really but wanted to add my Welcome to SR.

I look forward to getting to know you

Pick-a-name

They are not in their right minds......so be prepared for anyting, because that is just what can happen: ANYTHING! There is really no way of knowing.

Progression increases the likelihood of a bad outcome, in my experience.

Be careful and take care of you.

That you are asking the question, is a red flag...pay attention. JMHO

CatsTail

100% ABSOLUTELY DOES IT ESCALATE. Physical abuse will follow.

Find out if there is a womens shelter near you and pack a bag in case he gets physically violent. You'll need to get yourself out and safe.

Ngaire