Update - If you are interested.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Richton, MS
Posts: 135
Update - If you are interested.
My AH was off from work yesterday so he decided to make my life hell.
He showed up at my office at lunch uninvited and told me off when I could not go to lunch, in front of everyone and my boss.
He then called my sister, told her what a bad wife and mother I am. Told her that I was unattentive to his needs and ignored him. Told her I was a lousy housekeeper and cook. Told her that I never gave him any ''attention". He also brought up some other things that should have not been discussed. He also ask to meet her after work.
I called him last night and told him to never come to my work or call my sister again. I also told him that I was finished. I told him I was talking to a lawyer today, which I am waiting for his call, and that all I want is his signature.
He told me that he was a 39 year old man and I was a 28 year old girl and for me to grow up and start listening to what he had to say. He said I needed to stop telling him what to do and that I needed to do what he ask more often. He said the Bible said so. I told him that the Bible also said that a man is to love his wife and he has not been very loving. I actually developed a back bone. It seemed very strange to finally tell him what I wanted and not back down. He still thinks I am bluffing, but I am not. He told me at the end of our conversation I could file for divorce, but he would not sign anything and without his signature I could not get a divorce. We will see about that.
I am actually looking forward to our new life, the kids and me. The kids are doing great as long as I don't mention Dad to them. They are terrified they are going to have to go back. My daughter is going great in school, except for the new friend she made. They talk during nap time and get there name on the board.
He showed up at my office at lunch uninvited and told me off when I could not go to lunch, in front of everyone and my boss.
He then called my sister, told her what a bad wife and mother I am. Told her that I was unattentive to his needs and ignored him. Told her I was a lousy housekeeper and cook. Told her that I never gave him any ''attention". He also brought up some other things that should have not been discussed. He also ask to meet her after work.
I called him last night and told him to never come to my work or call my sister again. I also told him that I was finished. I told him I was talking to a lawyer today, which I am waiting for his call, and that all I want is his signature.
He told me that he was a 39 year old man and I was a 28 year old girl and for me to grow up and start listening to what he had to say. He said I needed to stop telling him what to do and that I needed to do what he ask more often. He said the Bible said so. I told him that the Bible also said that a man is to love his wife and he has not been very loving. I actually developed a back bone. It seemed very strange to finally tell him what I wanted and not back down. He still thinks I am bluffing, but I am not. He told me at the end of our conversation I could file for divorce, but he would not sign anything and without his signature I could not get a divorce. We will see about that.
I am actually looking forward to our new life, the kids and me. The kids are doing great as long as I don't mention Dad to them. They are terrified they are going to have to go back. My daughter is going great in school, except for the new friend she made. They talk during nap time and get there name on the board.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Feel Good?????
You sound like you are in a very peacful and balance place inside.... Im soooo happy for you hon. Glad to hear the kids are doing well too.
The way you made it sound I have to wonder if he is not looking for a daughter relationship..... Do what he says???? cuz he is older???? Does not sound like a partnership....
Keep up the good work and keep the focus on you and the kids.
You sound like you are in a very peacful and balance place inside.... Im soooo happy for you hon. Glad to hear the kids are doing well too.
The way you made it sound I have to wonder if he is not looking for a daughter relationship..... Do what he says???? cuz he is older???? Does not sound like a partnership....
Keep up the good work and keep the focus on you and the kids.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Richton, MS
Posts: 135
The age difference has never been a problem until now. When we married I was 21 and he was 31 almost 32. Stupid me thought I had found an older more mature man that would take care of me. Stupid Me living a fairy tale. My prince has turned into a frog. :Flush:
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
My last ex is 10 years older as well and I felt the same way..... Found a man that knows what he wants and has the maturity.... Im guessing that we all have issues no matter what age we are at .... He was not who I thought he was that is for sure.... but then there are my expectations again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 412
R is 18 years older than me. The older-and-wiser thing wasn't part of my attraction to him, but the age difference was never an issue for us either. Probably because he acts more like he's 26 than 46!
You do sound good, Life. It was very rude for him to show up at your work (I've feared that too but I don't think R has the balls) and try to recruit your sister onto his team. And how manipulative to bring the Bible into it, I HATE when people use religion as a weapon.
Hope everything works out easily for you and that you stay in this good place.
So cute about your daughter!
You do sound good, Life. It was very rude for him to show up at your work (I've feared that too but I don't think R has the balls) and try to recruit your sister onto his team. And how manipulative to bring the Bible into it, I HATE when people use religion as a weapon.
Hope everything works out easily for you and that you stay in this good place.
So cute about your daughter!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Sounds good, Life.
There is a theory that alcoholics stop maturing at the age they crossed into addiction. You are a mature 28 year old woman and will only keep growing. As long as he is addicted, he will remain the same. Part of the reason, I believe, AH, who is 45, is now with a 26 year old. It feels right to him because that is where he is emotionally.
I greatly admire your resolve and awareness. You and your childeren have a great life now, and, I hope, an even greater one each passing day.
Stay strong.
I'm glad your daughter has made a friend she can (obviously LOL) talk to. I was a very good student, but always got a "U" in conduct because of my need to talk non-stop.
There is a theory that alcoholics stop maturing at the age they crossed into addiction. You are a mature 28 year old woman and will only keep growing. As long as he is addicted, he will remain the same. Part of the reason, I believe, AH, who is 45, is now with a 26 year old. It feels right to him because that is where he is emotionally.
I greatly admire your resolve and awareness. You and your childeren have a great life now, and, I hope, an even greater one each passing day.
Stay strong.
I'm glad your daughter has made a friend she can (obviously LOL) talk to. I was a very good student, but always got a "U" in conduct because of my need to talk non-stop.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by denny57
Sounds good, Life.
There is a theory that alcoholics stop maturing at the age they crossed into addiction.
There is a theory that alcoholics stop maturing at the age they crossed into addiction.
And that would make Rich about, oh, 17
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by deax
That makes a lot of sense!
And that would make Rich about, oh, 17
And that would make Rich about, oh, 17
Any wonder how the urge to "act like their mother" can surface?! B must " be about 15" (in "drinking years") and here I am, 52! Kinda sick! haha
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by denny57
and thrilled to be dating an older woman!
Originally Posted by Pick
Any wonder how the urge to "act like their mother" can surface?!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
