brooklynborn

Another night where he said he was going to go do one thing and it turns into a drink/weed -off. He started by telling me he was going to go play disc golf with a friend, well I knew it would involve drinking cause he is only friends with people who can drink like him. It got dark--can't play in the dark, no phone call. He just now calls --3 1/2 hrs later to tell me how much fun it was (could tell he was buzzed) and that he was headed over to some friends house to watch a movie.........WTF!!!!!!!
I seriously think he thinks I'm a fool. I didn't react at all, actually I under-reacted. Sooooo frustrating!!!!Tomorrow we are going to his Dad's and spending the night, gosh, I wonder how much fun that'll be once the beer starts flowing!
I get on these mental tangents were I focus on getting a full time job "just in case" we leave, then I back down. I wish I would just stay on course. I've been a stay -at home- mom since DD was born(I do freelance work on the side), I don't want to put her in daycare and we have no family close by. ARGH!!!!! My resentment kicks in towards him for possibly having to go back to work and DD to daycare, then I realize I should resent myself. He did not misrepresnt himself the day of our wedding......I knew it would be like this.
But of course I thought I could change him....cause he told me I could.
So, another night, home punching away on the computer trying to do the right things to keep my sanity and keep me healthy.
brooklyn

WantsOut

Maybe keep nosing around for a job ... see how it goes. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to tell you what to do. I'll just tell you I decided to divorce my AH because I felt I had spent enough time seeing if things would get better. The best I could hope for is that they just stay the same while being afraid they'd get worse. Being on my own with a child has been scary at times, and lonely at times, but it sure beats being angry all the time which is what I was with my AH.

brooklynborn

Another morning that he acts like nothing is wrong and that I should be proud that he got home at 12:30am. Yup, I'm so proud my chest hurts(sarcastic LOL!).
brooklyn

Zoey

In my opinion, a job would make you feel a bit more free don't ya think???
For me it would. Sorta, "I am free to walk, so I will stay one day at a time"

How old is DD, I feel she would benefit from daycare. (Just me as I was raised like an only child, did not learn to take teasing or to stand up for self.)

(SMILE, big deal I never had childern so I am an expert, ya know what a pain we are LOL)
Take what you can use and leave the rest. HUGS

fixyou

The story of my life....night after night the same but my AH just passes out before the sun even sets so i am left alone as well.
As far a DD i agree with Zoey on the daycare, i have a grandaughter that goes to daycare (she has been there since she was 1 mnth old ,she is now 4 years)and she has the best social skills and a grandson at home with his mom and he is far behind in the social skills and they are very close in age. The trick is to find one you REALLY feel comfortable with. Just so you know there are good things about daycare.