Where does parenting stop?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Nearby
Posts: 231
Where does parenting stop?
Hi All,
I'm new to this forum, I'm an alcoholic and an adult child of 2 alcholics, and as I'm learning I'm also a parent to an alcholic/addict. My question is when do my parenting duties end relative to his addictions?
My son is 18 (recently hospitalized after an accident with neurological complications but the Dr.'s won't discuss his urine test with me since he's an adult. Fine by me, hope they also have plan for collecting their fees.) My son has been working on a self directed detox for the last several weeks and seemed to be making great progress. Now I'm not so sure. But I don't want to start tracing bank transactions, searching under mattresses, etc.
I'm here for him. He knows about my alcoholism and everything I've tried to pass along that I've learned in sobriety. So am I done? If he's using today, do I just let him be? So far he's financed his own using, he's stayed out of legal trouble and he's performing well in school. Should I just be grateful?
I'm new to this forum, I'm an alcoholic and an adult child of 2 alcholics, and as I'm learning I'm also a parent to an alcholic/addict. My question is when do my parenting duties end relative to his addictions?
My son is 18 (recently hospitalized after an accident with neurological complications but the Dr.'s won't discuss his urine test with me since he's an adult. Fine by me, hope they also have plan for collecting their fees.) My son has been working on a self directed detox for the last several weeks and seemed to be making great progress. Now I'm not so sure. But I don't want to start tracing bank transactions, searching under mattresses, etc.
I'm here for him. He knows about my alcoholism and everything I've tried to pass along that I've learned in sobriety. So am I done? If he's using today, do I just let him be? So far he's financed his own using, he's stayed out of legal trouble and he's performing well in school. Should I just be grateful?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
I don't think I could ever stop being a parent! I know my Mom can not stop parenting me! LOL She uses all those four letter words with me, I "told" you,,,,you "need" to........
You can't stop loving your child ,if you are a normal person. But I guess you have to let them face the consequences of their actions. Hard to do, you feel your childs pain....at least I do.
Give advice and encouragement. Don't expect them to take the advice....just hope for the best!
You can't stop loving your child ,if you are a normal person. But I guess you have to let them face the consequences of their actions. Hard to do, you feel your childs pain....at least I do.
Give advice and encouragement. Don't expect them to take the advice....just hope for the best!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Well you probably have alot of insight that I dont have. You found your bottom and are now sober....Would y ou have listened? What do you think would have helped you when you went through it.
As for me I will always parent my daughter.... but as she grows it is a different type of parenting. I need to let her face the consequences of her actions and just love her through it. When she asks me for advise I will always be there to help her but I have to learn that she may just not want my advise and I need to love and respect her enough to keep my mouth shut and just hold her if she needs it.
What do you think? OH and welcome to SR.... I look forward to getting to know you!
As for me I will always parent my daughter.... but as she grows it is a different type of parenting. I need to let her face the consequences of her actions and just love her through it. When she asks me for advise I will always be there to help her but I have to learn that she may just not want my advise and I need to love and respect her enough to keep my mouth shut and just hold her if she needs it.
What do you think? OH and welcome to SR.... I look forward to getting to know you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: nor cal
Posts: 113
Sometimes I have to separate "parenting" and "loving"
I will always love my children.
Parenting them in adult situations makes me pull my hair out and I have to let it go and let them suffer the consequences and just be there to listen,love and support them.
I am working on that one right now with my 23 and 20 year just moving back home.
Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
I will always love my children.
Parenting them in adult situations makes me pull my hair out and I have to let it go and let them suffer the consequences and just be there to listen,love and support them.
I am working on that one right now with my 23 and 20 year just moving back home.
Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
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