iloveme

I have found that in my relationships I am consistently attracted to high functioning alcoholics.......... That is another topic for another day.
Today I need your help with:
1. I am fairly physically attractive, as well as smart, and accomplished. I am constantly waiting for the bomb to fall on things and wind up abandoned.
2. When I am feeling fear of any kind, I become angry.
3. I want to blame it on others and their "addictions"
4. Is this something common amongst codies/alcoholics.
5. Is there any help for me?

Threshold

Hi, I feel very much like you are feeling just now. Except my reaction to fear isn't always anger..it's usually desparation/hopelessness.

I believe this is common among addicts and CoD's.

People say there is help and hope. I've been working my recovery pretty solid, but seem to keep ending up in the same situations.

Sorry, I wish I could help.

Dee74

Not sure I'm entirely following you, but I used to wait for bombs to drop too.

I was forever at the mercy of other people - whether they knew it or not.

Then when I got into recovery, I really worked on myself and who I wanted to be - I really dig deep and looked at the void in me I'd tried to fill with so many things - alcohol booze, food, women, music....

Eventually I got to the point where I'm secure in myself - no matter whether bombs are dropped or not, no matter where I'm feeling fear or anger or any other strong emotion, I know and accept I'll be ok because I like who I am and I like my life - my validation is more internal now than external.

I finally know my worth - not in an arrogant or a self aggrandising way - I simply know my worth

It took a lot of work to get here but I'm glad I did.

I wish you luck in getting there too, iloveme

D

Innerchild

I have the same traits as you. I get angry push people away out of my insecurities. This stems from my childhood I used alcohol to self medicate these feelings. They are still there but I am getting into therapy to help me overcome them.

iloveme

my validation is more internal now than external.............

I want to be here. I want to feel better. No matter how much I do. I suppose there is where I let go and let God!!

Thank you for your input I really needed it.
michelle

2granddaughters

The promises of AA say that they will materialize "sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly" if we work for them .

I used to hate it when the oldtimers would say "You are right where you are supposed to be".

All the best.

Bob R.